• Monokinis are mocking me.   I have already lamented about these dreadful swimsuits and this week I had the pleasure of seeing a toddler in one.  Seriously?  Have you lost your butterfly size mind? 
• Concessions are addicting.  Apparently the most disgusting of concession stand foods is more appealing than whatever Mommy has packed in the cooler.
• "Devious" is the new IT word.  My son has started calling everything devious.  My favorite line from the Princess Bride, "I do not think that word means what you think that word means" comes to mind often as I listen to him.  "That slide is devious."  "That diving board is devious."  "That little girl's eyes are devious."  Okay...he may have been on to something with that last one.
• Umbrellas are temperamental.  As we were leaving for the day, a big gust of wind picked up one of the picnic table umbrellas, tossed it over the fence into the parking lot and directly onto of my son.  Like an episode of Bay Watch, cute & petite lifeguards (with 0% body fat) rushed to our van.  Both the van and my son were unharmed.
• Planking.  I am finding this unusual activity somewhat annoying.  I watched at the pool as two grown adults decided to have their pictures taken planking both the high dive and the low dive.  Needless to say, it wouldn't surprise me if their kid was a toddler in the monokini.

• Get your own table.  Imagine if you got to the pool before everyone else.  You sat your cooler down on a picnic table with an umbrella and started to spray your kids with sunscreen only to be accossted by a freak and his whining 12 year old implying that you "stole" their table.  Say what?  I don't see you name on it.  There is one there, and there, and there and oh look there is even one over there.
• Butterflies have small brains.  This really isn't all that hard to imagine when you think of how tiny their heads are but seriously you have an entire open meadow to fly around in and yet you can't stopp landing on the water?  Are you suicidal?  There's a kids book for you--Ben the Suicidal Butterfly and how he learned that life is worth living.  My kids had to save his sorry butt like four times.  Finally they released him on the other side of the fence.
• Friends vs. siblings  My kids can play for hours at the pool without annoying me as long as they have a friend.  God forbid that friend is on vacation and they have to play the same game with each other.  This will result in incredible amounts of whining, physical assaults, and crying.
• Rafts, Rafts and Rafts.  We have a handful of rafts.  Some of which we store at the pool and some of which we don't.  The raft room has become so overcrowded as of late that it takes at least 20 minutes to find your raft.  The kids love to search for the raft (which works out well for me) but this week they learned why keeping them there isn't the best idea when the found out their beloved innertube was trampled and popped.
• You took a bite of what?  My neighbors little girl has these foam squirt guns.  They are really cool and the squirt really far.  She left it by the stairs when she realized she had to go to the bathroom.  Some little boy picked it up and took a HUGE bite out of it.  Really?  Who does that?  Even if you're four, that still seems like an unacceptable behavior.  Him mom took it off of him, sat it back down and walked with him to the other side of the pool.  No I'm sorry.  No Nothing.

Near the end of the school year, I came up with this list of all the things I'd like to accomplish this summer. Since (gasp) summer vacation is already half over, I thought we'd take a look at my progress.

Complete another edit I have successfully completed another edit of my YA novel and I am planning on actually submitting it for consideration before the end of summer! I am anxious and excited to see what lies ahead.

Paint my bedroom. I am taking baby steps towards this project. I picked out some colors I like and I am waiting for feedback from my hubby. Might have a girls night in painting party.

Enjoy my kids. For the most part, I have been doing fairly well with this. Of course, oldest did spend a week at camp and middle is leaving for camp next week. Plus, they have been participating in summer playground which may or may not be the only thing keeping me sane.

Visit the Crayola Factory. I have my doubts on this one. It is rather pricey and I'm not sure I am gonna attempt to swing it.

Clean and organize my craft room. The brown desk is out and the organization has begun. Pics to be posted tomorrow.

Fly to Florida. We leave on Thursday! White sand beaches and a wedding to celebrate. Doesn't get much better than that.

Summer Reading Club. We are signed up, but out of the 30 savenger hunts available we have only participated in 2. But I do have plans to do one tomorrow....

Scrapbook. My summer goal was 30 pages and so far I am at 4. This one might turn into an epic fail.

Bulletin boards. I promised some friends and co-workers help with their bulletin boards and I am making a lot of progress on this. The craft rooom is starting to look like a barnyard as I have about 30 cows and barns in the works.

Visit friends in Ohio. I don't think we are gonna make it out there, but out of the blue I found out some friends from Ohio will be staying with us in August.

Survive Camp. Done. The best part was all the visits from our friends. They made the week fly right by.

Visit family. The in-laws are coming to keep the kids when we are in Florida and my sister and her family will be visiting at the end of the month for my birthday. Life is good.

Have a fire (or 2 or 3). On Saturday, I had a rockin' good time with lots of friends from school as well as my neighbors. Food, a fire and some friends...who could ask for anything more.

Birthday books and school albums. Seeing as I've only made four pages it is pretty easy to figure out how this one is going...

Recharge. My favorite goal and the one I am having the most success with!

Come August 24th I'll be able to handle anything.

Including kale.

• Crack.  It's not just a street drug.  Why, oh why, is it so hard for boys of all ages to keep their butt crack from making an appearance at the pool.  How can that be comfortable?  Can't you feel the breeze on your....cheeks?
• Guests.  This week we had multiple guests come and spend the day with us, one of my son's friends came on Monday, a co-worker of mine spent the day with us on Wednesday, and today a co-worker of B's is coming to hang.  Such a wonderful time to catch up with good friends and to share a laugh.  One of our guests found themselves in quite a predicament only to be saved by Middle G.  Tiny toads and pool filters do not like each other.

• Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeney.  I continue to be amazed at how much boobie is on display at the pool.  I realize that I am not a large breasted woman and therefore I may just not understand the problems faced by my big chested friends but...come on.  Seriously, the only top you could find just covered your nipples.  Really?  They didn't have any other tops?  Perhaps it's time to get out of the junior section and pick a bathing suit that fits.
• Hot Stuff...your fries are ready.  My kids have decided that providing their real name at the snack shack isn't nearly as funny as having someone say "Hot stuff.  Hot Stuff.  Please come get your cheese fries."  My son is especially fond of having them call him "Bob" and B's son is known as "Sweetheart."  Lord, help us.
• Synchronized swimming for idots.  B and I have been critized for our "hard" schedules in the summer.  I think it's just jealously.  But since some people (mostly our husbands) think we don't do much of anything we decided to start training for a synchronized swimming team.  So far it looks something like this....

I am gonna let you in on a little secret.  I am a slow reader.  I have to be totally engrossed in a book (or trapped in the wilderness without an Internet connection) to finish it in a timely manner.

1. Laughter.  I laughed so hard and so often last night that my face hurt the next day.  If you haven't had a GNO that left you with a hurting face from laughing lately you may want to start a book club.
2. Small Snacks.  Our host had a plethora of dipable snacks and a fondue pot filled with chocolate.  I actually had a small smore, which was as delicious as it was cute.
3. Adult conversation.  Sometimes I feel like my day revolves around children fighting over who can get sprayed with sunscreen first, who sings better, and who gets to pick the Wii game.  Last night we discussed topics that involved some thought, like whether or not single parents should adopt, if we, ourselves, have a go-to parent, and what we would do if  we found out our child belong to someone else.
4. Motivation.  Nothing motivates me more than not-being-last.  I don't like to be the last to cross the finish line, I don't like to be the last to try a new dish, and I certainly don't want to be the only person who doesn't finish the book.  Nothing like a little peer pressure to motivate ya.
5. Something to Toast.  It's no secret that I need little reason to raise a glass in a toast to friends.  Book Club is the perfect opportnity for that.

I am attempting to clean out my craft room. The big brown desk is taking up space that I need so it is getting the boot. I am organizing the paper and getting rid of what I don't use. It is taking FOREVER!

I may have too many cricut cartridges as I am now out of shelf space. Do you think this indicates a problem?

The brown desk was sooooo heavy that even after it was empty I couldnt move it. Hubby had to dismember it and carry it down the steps piece by piece.

I have a new shelving unit up now and I am working on the organizational portion of the project, which is my least favorite part.

You will have to wait until next week to see finshed project.

I have a short attention span. When fellow blogger Jenners started writting mini book reviews, I was sold. Just enough information to decide if I would want to read it. In case you are unaware, Jenners is a genius.

Since I am feeling like my genius is running low and I have little to nothing to blog about I thought I would review the three books I have actually managed to reax this summer. Trust me, at this rate, I may set a record or something.

I picked this book because the author Sonnenblick had a speaking engagement at my daughter's intermediate school last year, Oldest G was impressed with him even though he doesn't write fantasy, which is her favorite genre. My husband got a chuckle out of the title and he was thankful that it wasn't a self help book designed to teach, well, faking it.

The main character is San Lee and he finds himself in nowhere PA (which may or may not be my home town) starting at a new school again, this time he decides to basically reinvent himself by creating an entirely different life for himself. It works great for a while until the girl he likes unravels his secrets and San finds out why faking it isn't a great idea.

I am facinated by popular YA fiction and while this book would engage both boys and girls, I found the book to be a little slow for me. It was cleverly written and the twists were seemless. Would recommend it to a 5th or 6th grade boy, especially if they like basketball.

My friend B was turned onto these books by our local librarian. More than one person has recommended them to me as a fun, humorous series so while I was at camp I read the first book. I was hoping to go on a road trip to Jersey to meet the author, but unfortunately that didn't work out.

The main character, Stephanie Plum, is relatable and funny. She's an unemployed discount lingerie buyer that is so poor at the moment that she just drank her last bottle of beer for breakfast. She blackmails her cousin Vinnie into giving her a bail bond recovery job worth $10,000.

I loved her family and became convinced that we may share the same grandmother. The characters of Morelli and Range are fantasticly written and th e book made me chuckle aloud more than once.

What more can you ask for. A fast and essy summer read!

Scottoline has more than a dozen books and I have never read any of them. This was a book club pick and the premise of the story involves a reporter named Ellen Gleeson who recieves a HAVE YOU SEEN THIS KID postcard in the mail only to do a double take on how much the child looks like her adopted son.

The reporter in her won't let the sleeping dog lie and the more questions she asks the more questions she has. It was well crafted and one of those books I had to find out how it ended. Some of the writing was bizzare. For example, near the beginning the author descibed the sky as looking like frozen blueberries which I found strange. Scottoline also tried to conivince me that Playdoh smells like almonds. It is clear that she has no children.

Other than some strange language and an occassional unbelievable plot twist I found the book to be quite the page turner. One of those books where you can't figure out how anything good could possibly happen and need to know the ending.

Another easy to read summer book.

I was playing around with the Cricut Campin' Critters cartridge and just because this port-a-potty skunk made me chuckle I thought I'd cut it out. In my warped mind it would make a clever invitation. You could put a little "Oh Crap" sign on the potty door and on the back you could write "Summer's almost over. Join us for a picnic on ......". You get the picture.

The only thing I don't like about this cartridge is the eyes. I recommend having some googly eyes lying around because the eye cuts from the cart don't look realistic.

Are you sharing a craft today? Leave me a link

ON A PERSONAL NOTE: The biopsy I wrote about last week came back absolutely fine. A big thank you to everyone who left me a supportive comment. You are all awesome!

When I was a child, I never missed an episode of The Muppet Show. I loved all the characters and I learned a lot of things while watching. Here are a few...

You can't control who you fall in love with. In my opinion, odd couples are strong couples. My hubby and I might as well be a pig and a frog. He is shy until you get to know him. I have never been described as shy. I am loud. He is quiet. Miss Piggy and Kermit taught me to trust my heart.

You don't always look like your voice. When Beeker burst into song he gave us a new understanding that it is possible to look one way and be another. Never judge a book by it's cover.

Life isn't always rosey. Sometimes you're gonna feel a little low (maybe even green) and that's okay. Sing about, talk about and embrace what makes you you.

Be Honest. Statler and Waldorf always told the truth. Maybe they told it harshly, but they called it like they saw it.

Friends stick together. Fonzie and Kermit stuck by each other even when others thought they were crazy. True friends will stick with you even when others are tossing tomatoes.

Be yourself. Animal banged his drums and never gave a thought to whether or not people thought he could play, Beeker kept tinkering no matter how many things blew up in his face, Gonzo never knew his family but had friends closer than brothers, and Kermit pursued his dreams no matter the obstacles.

Queen is awesome no matter who sings it. This song is awesome. Period. End of story.

This post was inspired by a prompt on The-Red-Dress_Club. Go visit them. You're gonna like em.