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Farewell for now.
An open letter to my children:
I think I have failed you. I think I have raised you with an entitlement gene that renders you incapable of actually working for things you desire.
I take full responsibly. I think that all parents want to give their kids more than what they had, but in doing so, I feel like I have handicapped you in ways that I couldn't foresee.
For example, you think that if you whine loudly enough that I will buy you anything, including a $25 personal blender. Why would a nine year old need a blender? When told no you fall completely apart and say things like "Why don't you love me?" or "I can't wait till my birthday, it's too long."
It's not even just things you WANT. It also an inability to clean up after yourself. It's like you feel entitled to make a mess and see who else can clean it. Or, worse yet, you act like you have no idea how to clean it up.
Middle and oldest told me they didn't know how to hand wash dishes because they've never done it before? Really, this is something that needs to be taught? It's not something you just know how to do?
Let's talk about the morning when the cat, dug all the liter out of her box and then peed on the floor. Did my oldest really think she could swifter that up?
The problem is so deeply rooted in our house that other than spending time on a missions trip, I'm not sure what to do.
My children think that $90 calculators should just be handed over. They think that if they rip their favorite jean shorts from Justice they should immediately be replaced. They think that expensive blenders are toys.
Maybe giving everyone a trophy even if they suck is a bad idea. Maybe rewarding everyone makes everyone believe they deserve to be rewarded. Maybe in an effort to preserve everyone's self esteem, we have created generations of children who think the world owes them something just for being in the world.
Don't get me wrong, if given enough time, my kids can figure out how to wash the dishes or clean the cat crap. They can clean the van or pick up their room. They can help paint the fence and vacuum the living.
So what's the problem, you ask? After they do it, they seem to think that because they did what needed to be done that there should be some type of reward, that there should be a trophy.
I worry that when that trophy, or that pat on the back or that "way to go" doesn't come, they will feel dismissed and unvalued.
And I blame myself.
Cotton candy grapes? Seriously? What is wrong with grape flavor? I don't think I wanna pay $6 a pound to have grapes that taste like cotton candy.
While I understand the growers motive, which he claims is to make kids want grapes instead of cotton candy, I think he is going about it all wrong.
Kids like grapes. If you're gonna change the flavor of something, why not focus on the cranberry? Or asparagus?
Kids need be taught from early on that this is what grapes taste like. Take it or leave it.
This whole idea sort of reminds me of the asshole of a nurse I had in the labor and deliver room when my middle daughter was born. I was having a lot of trouble latching her on. She just wasnt taking to it very well.
The uneducated woman attempting to help me said, "She just needs to get a taste of it," and preceded to dump a bottle of formula all over my chest.
Here's what I learned from that experience. Middle G still couldn't latch on and formula is sticky. If your child doesn't like grapes or won't try grapes, making them taste like cotton candy isn't the solution.
Designer grapes? This is what we are working on? How about feeding the hungry? Curing cancer? Making produce more affordable for those on a fixed income?
Cross pollinating or fruits to taste like candy? Well that should be significantly lower on the list.
Just my humble opinion.
I haven't been writing much about the pool this year. We had a slow start with a lot of rain in June, kids off at camp, and visits to grandparents houses.
It feels like we haven't been swimming much.
Where has the summer gone?
This is what I learned this week:
Bees will swoop. A bus full daycamp kids and their counselors were in the pool when a bee on steroids decided to swoop down and buzz them. That is a lot of screaming. A lot of screaming!!
Birthdays at the pool ROCK. I spent the day with great friends and family, cheese fries and sun. It doesn't get much better.
You can't predict the weather. We wanted to go to the pool in the evening to listen to a band that one of the lifeguards plays in. Sadly, it thundered and then poured and we never made it.
My sister's pool is even cooler. The kids and I are spending some time in NC with my sister and her family. It's even a better poolside perspective when it's from my sister's screened in porch and I'm watching my kids swim with their cousins.
Sprinkle in some water park fun. We hit the water slides today and it was a perfect way to spend a Friday.
What did you learn this week?
- I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.