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Friday, July 15, 2011
6:30 AM | | Edit Post
It was a HOT one this week and it brought out tons of people who, most likely, called in sick to work.
More than one day this week it was uncomfortable to sit anywhere other than completely submerged in the water.
At one point, I was convinced the air was too hot to breathe.
Here's what I learned.
- Crack. It's not just a street drug. Why, oh why, is it so hard for boys of all ages to keep their butt crack from making an appearance at the pool. How can that be comfortable? Can't you feel the breeze on your....cheeks?
- Guests. This week we had multiple guests come and spend the day with us, one of my son's friends came on Monday, a co-worker of mine spent the day with us on Wednesday, and today a co-worker of B's is coming to hang. Such a wonderful time to catch up with good friends and to share a laugh. One of our guests found themselves in quite a predicament only to be saved by Middle G. Tiny toads and pool filters do not like each other.
- Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeney. I continue to be amazed at how much boobie is on display at the pool. I realize that I am not a large breasted woman and therefore I may just not understand the problems faced by my big chested friends but...come on. Seriously, the only top you could find just covered your nipples. Really? They didn't have any other tops? Perhaps it's time to get out of the junior section and pick a bathing suit that fits.
- Hot Stuff...your fries are ready. My kids have decided that providing their real name at the snack shack isn't nearly as funny as having someone say "Hot stuff. Hot Stuff. Please come get your cheese fries." My son is especially fond of having them call him "Bob" and B's son is known as "Sweetheart." Lord, help us.
- Synchronized swimming for idots. B and I have been critized for our "hard" schedules in the summer. I think it's just jealously. But since some people (mostly our husbands) think we don't do much of anything we decided to start training for a synchronized swimming team. So far it looks something like this....
In conclusion, may I suggest that you pull up your pants when your butt is hanging out, get a swim top that covers all of your areola, pick a new name and use it proudly, join us for a day at the pool but, by all means, be prepared to join us in the shallow for a little synchronized fun.
Hold it...hold it. Feel the burn! You're gonna need ice for that burn!
- I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.