This was my first full week of school in a long time.  It was exhausting.  Between school holidays and sick kids I haven't had to work five days in a row in a month.  This is what I learned this week.

• No matter the combo, kids will eat it.  We served BBQ ribs, broccoli soup and chocolate pudding and the kids liked it. 
• Lettuce doesn't clean up very easily.
• No matter how many times you explain things to elementary students explaining them again is a requirement.  Even though we are approaching the 100th day of school some students were surprised to learn they had to pay for milk.
• If you stuff a cheeseburger into a pita you can call it a gyro and pretend that it is a greek meal.
• I learned that if you live in PA you must own camouflage.  That way you can be prepared when your elementary school has "Camo Day". 

I was not prepared and had to borrow some camo pants and a hat from neighbors.  My son asked me if we were hunting chicken.  I don't know about that but I looked pretty hot in my camo.

What did you learn this week?

I stopped by Jenners blog and found out about a lovely thing that is happening in the blogging world today—the Simple Things blog party hosted by Christina of Soul Aperture.

The idea is simple: list all the little simple things you appreciate in your life and link your post to the post over at Christina's blog.

For every blog that links up a simple things list today, Christina will donate $1.00 to Doctors Without Borders Haiti relief efforts. (She is ready to donate up to $250.00.) Isn't that a wonderful and inspiring?

So here is my list. What is yours?

• bubble baths
• time alone in my craft room
• my kids laughing
• watching snow fall
• diet pepsi
• seeing my byline in the paper
• riding bikes with my kids
• swimming
• time to read
• back rubs
• pedicures

You know you want to play along....

One week from tonight!

The final season of LOST begins!

I am more excited than a small child on Christmas Eve.

Just look at this cast photo.  It is oozing with symbolism to the point of insanity.  It's the LAST SUPPER for cryin' out loud.

Here are just a few clues currently being disscussed ad nauseum on the message boards.

• The table is a wing of a small plane.

• They are eating and drinking Dharma products.

• The Swan symbol is imprinted on the ruins behind them.

(In addition, they are sitting in airplane seats and there appear to be human skulls strewn about on the ground.)

When compared to the original photo who is sitting in Jesus' seat? Looks like Locke to me.

Is Sayid or Kate in Peter's seat?

I don't know about you but I'm starting to get giddy with excitement!

This  weekend we spent part of it recooperating and the rest of it relaxing. 

I wish I could tell you that the recouperating was from a wild party where we spent too much time dancing and drinking but alas middle G got the dreaded stomach flu.  Ugh.   She spent the entire day on Friday upchucking and crying, "Why is this happening to me."

It was simply pathetic.

Saturday she was good as new.  Kids are so resilient.

I did a little crafting.  Here are some cards I made.  After organizing my oodles of paper I also did a little bit of scrapbooking.


My friend Becky bought me this stamp so I used it to make a Thank you card for her.  I was happy with the way it turned out though the stitching was a little whacked.  My sewing machine wasn't cooperating.

On a side note, my son has yet another new swim teacher and this one decide after having him in class for 1/2 hour that he was in the wrong level.  This was shortly after the holiday break.  But after the second class, she was adamant that he be moved to a lower level and said she can't believe any of their instructors moved him up. 

"He doesn't even know how to do the elementary backstroke."

**Gasp**  Stop the presses!  Front page news....my six year old son can't do the elementary backstroke!  I should be ashamed.

Do you think I should tell his new teacher that he can't tie his shoes either?  I'm afraid if I do that she'll move him back even further.

Today's featured craft is a paint can that I altered into a New Aunt Survival kit for a fellow writer friend of mine who was over the moon excited about the arrival of her first niece.

I needed a non-digital picture the other day **gasp**.  I know, I know.  A baby picture of middle G. for her yearbook.  I didn't go digital until the middle of 2004 so all of the kids baby pics are on film.

Hubby said he had one in a shoebox inside his closet.  **gasp** A shoebox!

I went searching.

Turns out pictures aren't the only thing he keeps in this shoebox. He also keeps letters and cards and other memoribilia.

I found a typewritten letter from me.  I couldn't stop myself from reading it.

I'm living three hours away from him.  I'm working full-time but living at home; he is at college.

I talked about old friends.  One who died suddenly at 29 but who I was still close with at the time of this letter.  I pondered Christmas gifts for them.  I asked about the weather.  I relayed silly events at work and at home.  Then I asked the question that stood out the most...

"Do you ever check your electronic mail?  Your sister said she mailed you some from campus but she never heard back from you.  I told her you probably didn't have time for that but said I would check with you.  If you are checking your electronic mail, maybe I can could go to the campus with your sister and send you some.  Let me know."

The kicker is that this letter was dated November 1994. 

Sometimes it's shocking how much has changed since then.

Facebook helps you connect and share with the people in your life.  It says so right on the home page.  Of course, that is total bullshit.

I think it should say something like Facebook helps you connect with all the people you hated in high school so they can see if you're fat.

Or maybe something like Facebook helps you bring together those who don't share your same political views and allows them to call each other names via your wall.

Better yet, Facebook updates you on the status of people you no longer remember.

Facebook lets anyone post a picture of you and tag you in it thereby allowing your employer or future employer to see you at your best.

Facebook let's people join the Mafia so they can annoy you with requests for guns, handcuffs and cellphones.

Facebook teaches your friends to farm by begging you for gifts or by constant chorus of the Mr. Roger's classic, "Won't you be my neighbor."

Facebook is a virus

so why do I keep going back for more.....

The devastation in Haiti is heartbreaking.

Countless children lost.

Countless families divided.

When something like this happens we are given an opportunity to see what is really important in life.  What really matters.

It isn't all the material things that bind us, it's human connection.  It's touch.  It's a hug from a friend.  It's a phone call from your mom.  If you've been putting off that interaction today is the day to reconnect.

As for me, I'm at home today nursing a sick little boy who has a stomach bug.  I'm sitting in my warm house hovering over him as he tries to fall asleep.  He had a few sips of clean, pure drinking water and he is resting comfortable on our couch.  The only sound is the rythmic rotation of the washing machine as it cleans his soiled clothes and bed sheets.

Even in my exhausted state, I am capable of seeing how truly blessed I am.

May God's goodness shine down on Haiti.  We are praying for you.

Not that long ago Jenners posted this great post about bathroom ediquette.   The subject came up during potty-training when she realized that her hubby is a folder and she is a baller.  Then a debate ensued about what they would teach their son.

That being said, at work last week I changed the toliet paper roll.

I was actually pretty impressed that I figured out the elaborate gadget shelling the empty roll without asking anyone for help only to be informed that I put it on wrong.

That's right.  I'm not even capable of putting on a toilet paper roll.

Apparently the head cook perfers the roll to roll over and I, in my idiocrocy, put it on under.

You should know that I have never had this conversation with anyone before.  NOT ONCE.  I never even discussed the matter with my husband.  This may shock you but I grew up in a house that had no preference. 

***gasp***

Therefore, I have inherited the WGAF (Who Gives A Fuck) method.  This method is prefered by busy moms and anyone who is just happy that someone put the roll on.

My husband, who I have known for more than half my life, said he does like it over but he doesn't care enough to change it.

13 years of marriage and he never once said a thing. Probably because he knows if he did I would purposely put it on upside down from then on.  What can I say, I'm bitchy like that.

Just when i thought this was the stupidest debate i had ever heard of I saw this while watching Desperate Housewives. That's right....there is a roll poll at Cottonelle. The problem for me is they don't have my WGAF catagory. So give it to me straight...are you over, under or WGAF???

 

Blogging buddy Jenners challenged us to rewrite a fairy tale by mixing it up with pop culture.


I picked the disturbing tale of Hansel and Gretel.

You know the awesome tale of the evil bitchy step-mother who demands the poor woodcutter father abandon his children in the woods because they have no food to share with them. In the woods the children are rescued by a child-eating witch. Things go from bad to worse until the kids manage to cook the witch and steal her gold.

They find there way back to the father who tells them the step-mom is dead. We don't know how that happened but he was woodcutter after all and had a lot of sharp objects in the house. He hugs his kids and tells them he won't leave them for dead again and they tell him the found some gold and life will not be great.


Blah blah happy ending.

My version merged with the characters of LOST.

Once upon a time there was a very drunk doctor who died in Austrailia.  His HOT son Jack went to fetch his body.  On the way home Jack's plane crashed and he found himself lost in the words.

Soon Jack awoke and found Kate who helped the poor doctor sew up his side.

When it became apparent that rescue wasn't coming, Jack led Kate and the rest of their group into the forest.

"Do not worry," he said, "I can find the beach again and I will get us home."

In the woods, the group encounters all sorts of dangers including a polar bear, a smoke monster, and a visit from Jack's dead father.

Just when the group is about to revolt and name a new leader, they come under fire and are taken hostage by the OTHERS.

The OTHERS want to fatten them up and eat them.  They trick the others by offering a chicken bone instead of their fingers everytime they come over to their cage to see if they have fattened up.

Soon a man from the future named David Faraday arrives at camp and the entire show begins to really  Jump the Shark

It's truly sick just how much I love this totally outlandish tale.

I borrowed today's post from Gina at Namaste By Day. Visit her and tell her that you too decided to play along.

I’ve come to realize that my job. . . is not one a lot of people want but one I surprisingly enjoy.

I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving. . . I like to talk to my sister on the phone. It feels like she isn't so far away.

I’ve come to realize that I need. . .to take myself back to the doctor if I am still coughing on Monday.

I’ve come to realize that I have lost. . .patience and can't seem to remember where I put it.

I’ve come to realize that I hate it when. . . . my feet are trapped under a blanket. I have to have them outside of the blanket even if they are frozen or I have a panic attack.

I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk. . . I become way too talkative!

I’ve come to realize that money… isn't really all that important. Most things worthwhile don't cost that much.

I’ve come to realize that certain people. . .can rub you the wrong way no matter what.

I’ve come to realize that I’ll always. . . love to craft.

I’ve come to realize that my sibling(s). . . is way to far away from me.

I’ve come to realize that my mom... is who she is and that I need to accept that and be happy.

I’ve come to realize that my cell phone. . . unreliable. I blame AT&T for this.

I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning. . . I was still tired.

I’ve come to realize that last night before I went to sleep. . . I watched a Glee repeat, which must make me pretty pathetic.

I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking. . .please let there be a 2 hour delay tomorrow.

I’ve come to realize that my dad. . . is not a needy person.

I’ve come to realize that when I get on Facebook. . . I spend way to much time there.

I’ve come to realize that today. . . . was a easy going kind of day.

I’ve come to realize that tonight. . . . I need to get more sleep.

I’ve come to realize that tomorrow. . . there will be more snow

I’ve come to realize that I really want to. . . .work on my book.

I’ve come to realize that life. . . is all about how you react.

I’ve come to realize that this weekend. . . is the start of another swim session.

I’ve come to realize that my friends. . . are abundant and true.

I’ve come to realize that this year. . . will bring about the end of my beloved show LOST.

I’ve come to realize that my husband. . . is under appreciated.

I’ve come to realize that maybe I should. . . eat less poptarts (but they are so good).

I’ve come to realize that I love. . . scrap booking, card making, writing and turtles.

I’ve come to realize that I don’t understand. . . 5th grade math.

I’ve come to realize my past. . . has already happened and that I need to move on.

I’ve come to realize that parties. . ..are over-rated.

I’ve come to realize that I’m totally terrified. . . of drowning.

I’ve come to realize that my life. . . is just as God has planned.

If you aren't familiar let me sum it up for you. The sweet little boy on the cover grows up a little bit more on every page. The mother gets closer to death on every page.

She sings this song:


Until one day she can't sing anymore 'cause of the whole impending death thing and the boy holds her and rocks and sings this version:



Just when you thought it couldn't get worse, they introduce the doe-eyed female reindeers, who aren't allowed to play any reindeer games. They are there to watch and cheer on the big bad bucks.


Mrs. Santa and Mrs. Donner do not have first names. Apparently their characters weren't strong enough to warrant names.


Mrs. Santa spends the entire show trying to feed Santa.


Mrs. Donner and Clarice risk their lives to save Rudolph, Hermie and Donner but after Yukon Cornelius and the Abominable fall off the cliff Burl Ives says, "They were all very sad about their friend, but they knew the best thing was to get the women back to Christmas Town".


OMG by that time this movie was pissing me off.


The ending is happy and Rudolph is accepted but I'm sure glad I'm not rasing daughters in 1964.


Personally, I thinks it may be time for an updated version.


Maybe Middle G will write one.

I started thinking the other day about all the things I say.

All the things I repeat.

Which, of course, lead me to all the things I say that I never thought I'd say...

This is just an "off the top of my head" list and by no mean constitutes a complete compliation.

1. "Don't touch the dog's penis."
2. "Do not kiss each other with your tongues. That is how animals kiss."
3. "Eating things off the bottom of your shoes is not acceptable."
4. "If you find gum under a table, it is not free candy."
5. "Do not ever let me catch you biting your toe nails again."
6. "The dog is not playing with you when he tries to get on your back.  Do not let him do that EVER again."
7. "Butts just get ichy.  I do not know why."
8. "Spongebob's friend, Patrick, is not a giant tongue.  He is a starfish."
9. "We do not flush potatoes down the toliet.  Even if they fit in the hole, they still get stuck!"
10. "Was whatever you just put in your mouth food?"

What are some things you've said that you never thought you would?

A few posts ago, my bloggy buddy Jenners had a great post entitled Christmas by the Numbers.

I thought it was creative enough to swipe. So here is my "not as good" version.

Inches of snow received including the 12/18 blizzard: 20

Number of snowmen made in December: one

Number of Christmas celebrations: 4

Number of presents we gave to my step-mom and dad: one each

Number of presents they gave us: 10

Number of times my son reminded them he asked for a laser beam and didn't get one: 4



Number of times the girls asked Grammie if she was ready to open gifts: 17

Number of times she said "in a little bit": 16

Number of times they asked if there was more to open: 7




Number of presents we got my mom and step-dad: 4

Number of presents they got us: 15

Number of times I had to remind my kids to say thank you: 2,957





Number of presents Santa brought each of them: 3 (like the wise men brought Jesus)

Number of gifts my son opened before he found this car: 6

Number of gifts he wanted to open after he opened this car: 0

Number of presents Copper the dog received: 8

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. ~Norman Vincent Peale


Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home. ~Carol Nelson


He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. ~Roy L. Smith


Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind. ~Mary Ellen Chase