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 I just couldn't resist this post!

As I'm sure know, I spent most of Sunday watching the finale of LOST and I'm still processing my final thoughts. I hope to have them posted either tomorrow or Wednesday by the latest. Did you watch it? Were you happy? Were you disappointed. Right now, I'm a little bit of both.

I had surprise company to watch the finale with. It would have been better if they were Losties too, but alas they had never seen an episode. I'm sure my reactions were more entertaining than the actual episode.



Here's one of the cuties I spent the evening with and below is his sister. Mom and Dad were here too. But let's face it, once you have kids you are second fiddle. LOL JK B&B I love you guys too!





How was your weekend???

I can't believe that LOST ends on Sunday.

Are you having a viewing party? Or are you, like me, watching it alone. Hopefully, with minimal interruptions.

Tuesdays episode set things in motion for a wild ride to the finish.

On the island:

We see the last four, Jack, Kate, Hurley and Sawyer. They are on their way to rescue Desmond. He is still trapped in the well. Sayid told them on his way out that they would likely need him.

On the way, the finally have a sit down with Jacob. They can all see him, that can all hear him. He tells them that one of them must step up and be the new protector.

To the surprise of no one, Jack steps up.

We find out that Kate was scratch from the cave of wonders because she became a mother.

We see what side Ben is on and it appears to be the evil side. He kills Charles Whitmore and doesn't even flinch when Flocke cuts Sarah Palin's throat.

Where did Miles disappear too? Was he hidden somewhere at Ben's?

Richard took quite a hit from smokey, but I have a feeling that he will reappear on Sunday.

The island cast has been weeded and when Flocke announced he was going to destroy the island, I believed him.

OFF the island:

Desmond is working his magic. He helped Ben see some flash of his former life by kicking his ass, which looked like a lot of fun.

Ben had a family bonding moment with Danielle and Alex. I have to admit it made me smile a little. John took steps towards walking again. Jack bonded with Claire and made a promise to be at his son's concert even if his mystery mother would also likely attend.

Anna Lucia helped Desmond bust Kate and Sayid out of jail. Hurley continues to be awesome, on and off the island. He seems to be just as in touch with his other life as Desmond is.

When he brought the bribe that secured Kate and Sayid's freedom, he didn't bat an eye lash at seeing and remembering Anna Lucia.

Where is Desmond taking Kate? To Jack's son's concert....Where is Miles taking Sawyer....to Jack's son's concert.

What will play out at this concert, I can only venture to guess. What will happen on the island? I can't wait to find out.

How do I picture the last scene?

Jack and Flocke are sitting on the beach. He is wearing white, Flocke is wearing black.

Flocke: "Do you know how much I want to kill you right now?"

Jack: "Yes. I know. But what happened happened."

Flocke: "I wish you had believed me."

Jack: "I wish I would have believed John, not you."

This week's episode gave us some insight on the Man In Black and his brother Jacob. I was impressed that the writers were able to write the entire episode without once giving him a name. Interesting.

Do you think his name will be revealed in the finale?

The light and dark was present throughout the episode. The boys very pregnant mother shipwrecks onto the island and is befriended by a not-so-nice woman. This woman helps deliver Jacob and the MIB. Then she promptly kills her...but first she apologizes.



Jacob is wrapped in a lovely white blanket. MIB in a dark brownish/black blanket. From the beginning it is clear that the woman favors the MIB. He questions things more. He seeks answers. Jacob is clearly a follower. One who believes without question.

Is this a hint? I do not know.

The woman represents herself as their mother. She shows them a light in the center of the island that represents all that is good, all that is evil, all that is. She tells them that one of them must protect it.

Man arrives at the island. The MIB has a visit from his deceased mother. He learns the truth. He leaves his camp and joins up with the others.

Jacob stays behind.

He wants to please her. He knows that he is not favored. He knows she wishes that the MIB would return.

Throughout the episode they are playing a game similar to backgammon. Jacob always the white player, MIB always the dark player.

When MIB figures out a way to leave the island, crazy mom returns. She tells him that she is there only to say goodbye and then lays him out flat. She goes all Anikan Skywalker on his people. Killing all of them.

She knows that her time is limited and that MIB will come after her. She tells Jacob he must take over the protection of the island. They share a glass of wine, which was slightly odd.

MIB shows up at camp and kills her.

Jacob and MIB fight. He throws him into the river and through the tunnel of light. Jacob releases the smoke monster.

Thinking his mother and brother are both dead he buries them in the cave that our Losties found in one of the very first episode.

"Our very own Adam and Eve."

mmmm.....this is getting interesting.

Your thoughts?

I'm not a big fan of Jack-centric episodes, but seeing as we've gone two weeks without LOST I didn't care what this one was about as long as it was new.

It's opens with a clever play on words. Jack is at the hospital and he tells Locke that "He may be a candidate." Of course, he isn't talking about island life. He is talking about fixing John. Helping him to walk again.

John isn't very keen on the idea.

Doesn't ABC realize that it is impossible to do a recap blog post when they run a repeat episode of LOST.

Seriously.

That. Was. Annoying.

On the off chance that you are visiting just to read my recap (which is likely wishful thinking on my part) I'm sending you here.

Visiting will allow you to read one of the most clever LOST poems e-vah!

So what are you waiting for? Click the link and come back and tell me what you thought.

This week on Lost....

Jack and Flocke have a man to uh...man?

Sun visits the only hospital in L.A.

John visits the only hospital in L.A.

We learn that the depth of wells can be deceiving.

Sawyer can sail a boat.

We learn that boat sailing is sexy.

Ilana is a lawyer? WTF?

We learn that Lost writers love Star Wars.

I was very excited about this episode as, like the title eludes, I love Hugo. I think most Losties too. He is an unlikely hero and I have high expectations for him as this show nears its conclusion.

On the island, Richard and Ilana are in a sort of power struggle and grasping at straws.

Richard: "How do you kill smoke?"
Ilana: "Dynamite. That kills everything."
Richard: "True. And I know a ship that has been on this island since the late 1800s that is loaded with dynamite. It still works because this is not likely to solve any of our problems."
Ilana: "Let's go get some."
Richard: "Where will we put it?"
Ilana: "I will just shove it down into my backpack. We'll trek it through the forest and blow up that plane. That way even if we don't kill smokey we will successfully trap us all on this island until the end of time."
Richard: "This is a good idea. Especially the part about you carrying the dynamite."





Meanwhile, back in LA. Hugo is a gazzilionaire with a heart. Yep. You heard that right. He is not only The Mr. Cluck Chicken he is the man of the year, the person of the year and the bachelor of the year.

His mama is proud of everything except the bachelor part. She fixes him up on a blind date.

She doesn't show. But guess who does. That's right. LIBBY! Sweet! I love Hugo and I love Libby. This has to be great. Wrong. She's in the mental hospital that Hugo used to be in. She was apparently on an outing and her doctor lost track of her.

Before she is carted away, she tells Hugo that they are soul mates. That they were in a plane crash together. That they liked each other. He likes her but can't get over the fact that she is loony. Or so he thinks.




Richard is pissed that Ilana blew up the only dynamite they had and he wants to get more. Jack says, "Maybe she blew it up to show us not to mess with dynamite." Jack does have a doctorate degree. He may be on to something.

Michael appears to Hugo and tells him that they must not destroy the plane. That he must convince everyone to go and talk to Flocke.

Meanwhile, Flocke is getting to know Desmond whom Sayid captured and tied to a tree. While he was there "rescuing" Desmond he didn't bother to bring back Jin.

Flocke wants to know all about the experiment that Desmond was involved in and why Chuck brought him back to the island. Desmond seems to be on Xanax and says, "I have no idea, brother."

Flocke takes him to a well in the middle of nowhere and throws him in. In the Bible, Jacob had a son named Joseph. He wore a coat of many colors. In the Veggie Tale version, he is a pickle and his brother's are peas. They throw Joseph down a well. Things end up better for Joseph than all of his brother--just sayin...

Back in LA: Desmond shows up and talks to Hugo. He says, "What's the matter, brother?" Hugo tells him that he met a nice woman but that she is crazy. Like really crazy...he saw the van and everything.

Desmond tells him not to give up. Hugo go to the hospital and makes a huge donation and visits with Libby. She tells him again that they are soul mates. He asks her out on a date. They finally have their picnic on the beach. You know the one Michael so jacked up when he MURDERED Libby!!!

When she kisses him he sees their life on the island.

He is remembering.

Back on the island:

Hurley blows up the black rock. No more dynamite. No more problem. Richard is pissed. He is going to look for some more elsewhere. Ben and Miles go with him.

Hurley convinces the rest of them, mute Sun, Jack and LePenis, to go with him to talk to Flocke. Hurley is scared. Jack is thinking about Kate. Sun wants to see Jin but will have to wait until the finale and LePenis can't believe that he hasn't blown up yet.

OMG!  OMG!  I can't even wrap my mind around this episode entitled Ab Aeterno which is Spanish for Eternity!  I mean OMG!  OMG!

The episode opens with Ilana telling campfire stories involving Jacob and all the good times they had together like when her face was nearly blown off and he came to visit her and tell her about all the cool candidates she needed to protect.

When Jack asked what they should do now Ilana proudly announce that Ricardo would know what to do.

Richard responded with a speech bubble over his head that said "WTF????"

Richard said "I'll tell you a little campfire story.  We are all dead.  We are all in hell.  I'm done with Jacob and I'm going to start listening to someone else."  He storms out into the jungle.

Jack, who didn't cry at all this episode, sees Hurley talking to himself in Spanish and demands to know what the hell Jacob wants now.  Hurley says "Not every episode revolves around you and your daddy issues.  This doesn't concern you."

Then we flash to many moons ago with Ricardo and his wife Isabella.  She is ill.  He promises to save her.  We all know how well that promise is going to hold out.

He rides on horseback to the doctor's house.  The doctor, like all doctors on LOST, is an ass!!  He won't give him the life saving white powder because his money and his gold cross are worthless.

Ricardo is pissed, they wrestle and, of course, he ends up dead.

He flees with the medicine only to find out he is too late.  Isabella is dead.

Ricardo is arrested for the doctor's murder and because this is the 1800s is scheduled to die tomorrow.  WTF?  He meets an endearing priest who tells him that his sins will never be forgiven.  Not sure what seminary he went to.

The morning of his death he is blindfolded and sold to someone who may or may not have been Charles Widmore.  I couldn't really tell....can anyone help me out?

He is shackled and chained and put on the black ship....Just when you thought things couldn't be worse it starts storming.  The ship crashes into THE statue on the island.  The prisoner chained beside him is insisting the statue is the devil.

Things go from bad to worse when smokey show up and kills everyone!  EVERYONE except Richard.  He thinks this is a good thing until he remains chained an unable to drink or eat anything.  I'm sure at some point he wished the smoke thing woudl come back.

As he approaches death, Isabella shows up and tells him that they are indeed in hell and that he must come with her but alas she can't free him and he sends her off to her re-death.  Odd scene number 5,456,789.

He collapse with grief, sadness and hunger when he is touched by a stranger.  I so thought it was Jacob but alas it was...


OMG!  OMG! OMG!  "Esau" tells Ricardo that he is definitely in hell and that if he ever wants to see his wife again he must kill the devil.  Out comes THE sword and Esau tells Ricardo to go and kill the man who lives in the foot of the statue.  Do not let him speak.

Ricardo says "Sure" and then gets his ass kicked by Jacob who then proceeds to sort of baptise him in the ocean.  Jacob says that Esau is like wine trapped in a bottle.  The island is the cork.  If Esau escapes the island evil will rain, but as long as the cork is there everyone is safe.

Jacob says I brought your boat hear to prove that good is alive and well.  Esau says that all have evil in them.  I say all have good in them.  Ricardo says why not just tell people what to do.  Jacob says they must choose freely.

Jacob offers him a job.  To help those he brings to the island make the right choice.  Ricardo says if I agree what do I get in return.  "Can you bring my wife back?"  No, say Jacob.  "Can you forgive me of all of my sins?"  No, says Jacob.  "Then I never want to die," says Ricardo.  "That I can do," says Jacob and he touches Ricardo's shoulder.

Ricardo returns to the place where he left Esau and hands him a white pebble. 

Esau reminds him that he will never see his wife again and should he change his mind the offer will remain.

Ricardo burries the cross necklace and says goodbye to his beloved Isabella.

Flashforward:  Richard returns to the spot and digs up the cross.  He starts screaming I've changed my mind does the offer still stand?  And he is greeted by...



Hurley...who tells him that his wife sent him and that she has a message for him.  He then begins to speak to Richard in fluent Spanish.  He tells him that it is not his fault that Isabella died.  He tells him that she is there with him.  He tells him that she wants him to close his eyes.  He does and she tells Richard that they have always been together.

I cried like a silly little girl.

Hurley then tells Richard that he must stop the man in black from leaving the island or they will all be in hell.

This episode ends with a flashback.  Jacob and Esau are sitting on a long.  Jacob hands the wine bottle to Esau and says he is disappointed to learn that Esau tried to kill him.  Esau says he just wants to leave and isn't going to stop trying.

He shatters the wine bottle.

This episode had Sawyer in bed with the enemy...a lot.  Off island Sawyer seems like the same old con-man that we know and love banging a stranger and off to make a "deal" with someone. 

But within the first 10 minutes, we find out that he is a police officer.  Seriously?  This one is a little hard to swallow but I'm kind of glad because I really didn't want him to con Hurley which I thought they were alluding to in the season premiere.



Who's his partner?  Miles "I can talk to dead people" Straume.  This is getting better and better.  Of course, Sawyer still has a lot (and I mean A LOT) of trust issues.  He's still looking for con-man Cooper and is still planning on killing him.

"You killed my father and my mother, prepare to die."

Staume is the most meddlesome partner e-vah.  First he sets him up on a blind date and then he checks his credit.  Whose the date with you ask?  I was sooo hoping for ....




Meanwhile back at the Chateau el la Crazyass Claire, Jin is recovering nicely from his bear trap trip and Sawyer is cooking over open flame.  Flocke and lots of extras come strolling out of the woods like it's just another day at the temple killing everyone.

Claire lunges at Kate and I don't know about you but I was hoping she would cut her but Flocke came to the rescue and he and Kate had a tender moment at the beach when he told her all about he crazy mama.  Seriously, why is it always the mom's fault.

"why are you telling me this?" said Kate.

"Because now Aaron has a crazy mama too."

Sawyer is on a go check out the other other other island misson and finds a plane and a bunch of dead people.

This episode opens in Dr. Linus' history class and we quickly learn that in these flashes Big bad Ben is a pansy and a bit of a pushover.

Off the island:  Ben is in charge of a history club (aka WTF?) and detention.  Often at conflict since no one from history club is ever in detention he can't do both. 

Wheelchair bound Locke who is still substituting there says if you want things to change do something about it.  "Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something."

Ben starts taking Locke seriously.

We also learn that his father is still alive, in ill health and thinks things would have been better if they joined the DHARMA initiative.  But alas, they wouldn't because in this world Ben is a pushover history teacher who can't stand up for himself and in DHARMA land he would have been a cold hearted leader of the pack of other others who killed his own father.

Instead he is fixing his oxygen level.  My brain hurts...does yours.

Just when we thought we could possibly be surprised Alex comes to the door and is sort of crushing on Ben and saying "OMG, like why weren't you at history club."

Personally, I think I threw up in my mouth a little.



Ben apologizes to his seudo daughter who in both worlds he obviously cares about and says he'll give her a private tutoring lesson tomorrow.  I'm hoping that just mean what it means and that I'm not really gonna have to throw up for real.

In the library, Alex reveals that the principal is having sex with the nurse and says that Ben should not reveal this to anyone.  Next scene he is revealing it.  Shocking I know.

He blackmails the principal for his job and that is when Dr. Linus learns that some people do not back down easily. 

Unlike on the island, when he watch Alex die for his own gain,  Sideways Ben is much more likable.  He trades detention duty and the illustrious position of principal for a raving letter of recommendation for dear Alex. 

Her future secured.

Back on the island Miles is quickly becoming my favorite character.


After he, Sun, Ilana, LePenis and Ben bust through the temple wall he gets all voodoo with Jacobs ashes and tells Ilana that "Linus killed him"

And Ben's all like "That's Dr. Linus."

Ilana is pissed and tells Ben that Jacob was like a father to her and that she will now have to avenge his death.

Because there are no other new sets this week, they head back to the beach.

She tethers him to a tree and says "Dig you own grave."

Meanwhile Hurley is trying to convince Jack that they should spend more time in the woods and not heading towards the temple when suddenly Richard is there.

Hurley wants to know why he doesn't ever age.

Richard calls it a gift and women all over the world question their eyeliner.



Richard says "Follow me" and takes them to the old black pirate ship with all the dynamite in it from Season one and that's where we see the chains and we remember how Flocke said, "Good to see you out of those chains, Richard".

I don't know about you but I felt like saying "arrrgh" and "matey" a lot after that.  A pirate who wears eyeliner??

Richard is sad and feels like his life has no purpose and he wants Jack to kill him and Jack says okay.  Richard says he can't kill himself...another gift from Jacob.

But it turns out that Jack apparently can't die at his own hand either because even though he lit the dynamite the fuse went out just short of detonation.  He wants to talk and we wants answers but he doesn't think well unless he's at the beach.

Back at the beach, Ben is busy digging his grave, Miles tells him that Jacob did care and hoped he was wrong about Ben up until the minute he plunged the knife into his chest.  After Miles leaves, Flocke turns up near Ben and says "Come to the dark side."  Ben makes a run for it but Ilana gives chase.  They have a stand off in the woods.

Ben wants her to know why he did what he did.  He felt his life had no purpose...didn't we just hear this speech?  He felt manipulated.  He felt used.  He tells her about Alex and how he let Keamy kill her and how he has never been able to forgive himself for choosing the island over his own daughter.

He tells her that he is going to be with Flocke because Flocke is the only one who will have him.

Ilana says "I will have you."  She turns and lets Ben choose.  I thought he would head to the dark side but alas he returns to the beach just in time for the Here-comes-Hurley-Jack-and-Richard reunion.  Hugs and awkward stares ensure and no one notices the creepy submarine off shore.

Who is on board?  Charles Widmore.

Blurring the lines once again between good and evil.

I love this show!

Last night's episode was full of Sayid and any episode featuring him is bound to include a lot of death.  This episode definitely qualified.  In fact, if you hadn't appeared in a least five episode you were pretty much a goner.

We open with Sayid going to visit sweet Nadia only to find her children are calling him uncle.  WTF?  Out walks Omar looking like he's about to kill Sayid and says "Thanks for the flowers."

Sideways world is starting to suck for Sayid.  The love of his life is married to his brother.  UGH.

We learn that Omar is not good with money and some bad people want to kill him.  I don't know about you but I was secretly hoping that those bad people would take him out and Sayid would be left to comfort Nadia...but alas this is LOST and that ain't never gonna happen.

Omar does end up in the hospital and for a brief moment I thought Sayid and Nadia were going to rekindle days of past but instead he explains to her that she is too good for him and he pushed her to be with his brother because he is repenting for his torturous ways.  He doesn't deserve her. 

Heartbreaking, but the line was a little too cheesy for me.  It would have played better at a final rose ceremony.

Omar's cronies pick up Sayid and attempt to cook him breakfast.  Who is the man behind the sunny side up eggs?...Keamy...Martin Keamy. OMG  It appears that no matter what time zone we are in he is an ass.



Keamy is putting the squeeze on Sayid apparently unfamiliar with his background.  In a flash, Sayid says "I not interested in hearing anything else you punks have to say" and kills them all.  ALL. OF. THEM.

After the gun fire dies down we here a muffled cry from the freeze.  Sayid flings open the door and finds Jin.  Bound and gagged and speaking only Korean.

Back on the island, Claire knocks on the door and enters the temple.  Seriously, I thought she needed to use the secret passage way.



Claire is all like "Where's my baby and that odd Chinese guy?"

John Lennon says "We don't have your baby and I'll fetch Dogen."

Dogen comes out and says "We have a no soliciting sign, please leave."

Claire says "He wants to talk to you."

Dogen says "No" and locks Claire up in the dungeon.

Dogen explained Star Wars to Sayid and told him that everyone has a light side and a dark side and he has gone to the dark side.

Sayid said, "You are not my father.  I am a good man."

Dogen said, "Prove it.  Take this knife and kill the first dead person that tries to talk to you."

Say what?  Isn't that like hitting your child for hitting?  Prove you are good by killing?

Sayid said, "Okay."

Outside the temple gate, Kate decides to join the party and learns that Claire is in the dungeon.  "Miles, this is wonderful news.  Now I can tell the crazy beotch that I have her baby.  She will be so happy.  We will hug and fix each others hair and I will tell her how Aaron calls me mommy!"

Miles just rolls his eyes.

Flocke approaches Sayid and Sayid stabs him.  Flocke doesn't flinch and says "You always plunge a knife into someone before you even say hello."

Sayid and the audience were not expecting that.

Flocke tells Sayid that Dogen is an idiot and that he only sent him out there so that Flocke would kill him.  "I've got a good idea why don't you go back and kill Dogen and I will give you everything you've ever wanted."

Sayid says, "All I've ever wanted died in my arms."

Flocke says, "I can change that."

Say what?

So Sayid goes back and tells all those extras including Cindy and those mute children that Jacob is dead and that they are free.  Go to the beach or stay at the temple and die.  Mass panic ensues.

Sayid finds Dogen in the well water room and explains what happened with his rendezvous with Flocke.

They share a tender moment in which Dogen reveals that in a drunken stupor he accidentally killed his son.  That is when Jacob said come to the island and I will make you son better.  He asked if Flocke promised something similar and what Sayid would do.  Stay or go?

Sayid said stay and then in the most surprising moment of the evening grabbed Dogen and drowned him.

Say what?

John Lennon returns to see this and says "Do you know what you have done.  Dogen was the only thing keeping him out."

Sayid then kills Lennon.

Next we see the smoke monster taking out extras left and right.

Luckily, Sun, LePenis and Ilana all arrive at the temple just as this is going down and Ben rushes off to find Sayid.  Miles is running with Kate when Kate decides to save Claire.  Claire finds Kate rather humorous and tells her she would be safer in the dungeon.

After the smoke clears we know this.

Ilana, LePenis, Sun and Miles all went through the secret passage.

Ben's whereabouts are unknown.

Sayid, Claire and Kate appear to be with Flocke and his growing group of extras which may include Cindy and those creepy mute kids, Emma and Zach.  However, I'm not certain about Sayid.

Ben is missing but in the previews for next week.

Sawyer and Jin are also MIA; as is Jack and Hurley.  One can assume that Jack and Hurley are on their way back to the temple and that Jin is still at Claire's "house".  Sawyer is most likely at the beach waiting for Flocke to return.

If you are posting a recap, please leave me a link.

It became clear early on that this episode would focus mostly on Jack.

Just Jack....okay and Hurley and Jin and crazy Claire.  But mostly Jack.

Off the island we see Jack over scheduling himself and dealing with his mother who is slightly pissed off that Oceanic lost the body of her deceased husband.

Next we see Jack pic up his son, David (who looks to be about 12) and we are all like "say what" and then we are all like Maury Povich "Whose the mama?"

My guess is that Sarah, Jack's ex-wife, is the baby momma.



Turns our David and Jack don't really have much to say to each other and that he only visits once a month.  His relationship with David isn't much better than Jack's relationship with Christian.

Jack finds out that David is at an audition so he follows him.

While watching from the back Jack sees his son preform some seriously impressive classical piano playing and runs into Dogen, aka Mr. Miyagi.  He is there with his son and says something about the pressures they are under at such a young age.

"Before you know it they will be burning people with hot pokers and making pills out of poison.  They grow up so fast."

Jack can't make idle conversation with Dogen as he is certain he knows him from somewhere and makes a quick exit.

When David comes out he sneaks up on him and says "I brought pizza and you weren't there."  It is a tender moment when he tells him that he just wants to be a part of his life.  David rolls his eyes and says, "Fine, lets have pizza."



Back on the island, Hurley gets in touch with his sixth sense and hangs out with Jacob who give him some cliff notes and tells him to do him a favor.

"Someone is trying to find the island and you need to help him.  But you must bring Jack along."

So Hurley, who continues to be the nicest guy on the show no matter what timeline, goes to get Jack and Jack says something about not really wanting to hang out with him and Hurley says, "you have what it takes."

Jacks decides he wants to go so he can kick Jacobs ass.

Jack and Hurley find a lighthouse that has a wheel and some mirrors and a big chain hanging at the top.  It's quite the contraction complete with more candidate names and numbers and Jack stops at his name and sees his house.  It's all a little over the top and dramatic and gets even worse when Jack gets all Jackie Chan and smashes everything to bits.

Hurley's all "great Jack, great.  Mission not complete."

Jacob comes back after the tirade and says, "No worries that's what I thought would happen."


Meanwhile, infected Claire, who is having a really bad hair day, frees Jin and captures one of the extras.  We figure he is pretty much a goner because we have no idea what his name is.

Claire gets all domestic and fixes up Jin's shin which looks a little like uncooked chicken.  He thinks her cognitive ability must be a little low because of her three year solo jungle adventure.  She says, "I'm not alone I have this fake baby and a dear friend who visits now and again to remind me that those crazy temple people took my baby."

Jin all like "Who took your baby?'
Claire's all like "They tooka my baby, those temple people tooka my baby."

She then demands the extra tell her where he is or die and Jin is like don't kill him remember you gave Aaron to Kate.  Clairetakes an ax to the extra's chest.

Gross.

Indeed.

Claire than says something like "I'd do that to Kate if I found out she took Aaron" and the audience got a little excited (or at least I did).

Claire's friend Flocke shows up and says, "I love what you've done to your hair.  Did I miss anything?"

The 10 seconds I saw of next week's episode looks awesome.  f you have a review up, let me know.  I'd love to read it.

This week's episode will center around Fake Locke (Flocke) on the island and poor pathetic John off the island.  Terry O'Quinn is a fantastic actor and has me totally convinced that these two people aren't actually played by the same person.

Poor pathetic John is pulling into his driveway and can't get his vehicle ramp to cooperate and kind of flings his crippled self out of the van and into the yard which results in his becoming a limp rag on the grass being pummeled by the sprinkler.

Just went you thought all hope was lost Peg Bundy comes out the front door to rescue him.

He calls her Helen at least six times in the first five minutes so that we can all be reminded of who the hell she is.  Oh yeah....I remember her.

She's the lady he met at that anger management class.
She wanted him to stop obsessing over his jackass of a father.
She left him when he wouldn't.

Hold up didn't John visit her grave?  I'm so confused.

On the island, Flocke is all "You people have disappointed me.  I'm taking Richard for a walk.  We need to go recruiting some backgammon players."  He storms off the beach and suddenly we are treated to an IMAX movie...which, quite frankly, I'm not a big fan of.

Flocke give Richard one more chance to join him.  For dinner? For world domination?  For and eyebrow wax?  We aren't sure.

Richard politely declines and looks like he is about to meet his death when suddenly Flocke is distracted by that creepy boy from "Children of the Corn".

Say what?



Soon Flocke stumbles upon our grieving cowboy Sawyer and says "Come with me, James and I will teach you how to be fishers of men." 

Oh wait that is a different story all together...or is it?

After a few shots of whiskey, Sawyer says "Okay, what the hell."

Then they both stumble upon the corn boy.

Flocke takes after him and Sawyer hollers, "You have fun with that I've had too much rum to run."

Back in LA:

John's boss, Randy, gets all Donald Trump on him and fires him and we all hope that John will jump out of his chair and run him through with a knife but then we remember that Oceanic Airways is incompetent and lost his luggage.

Leaving in dismay, John comes to find out that he can't get into his car because some dumbass parked too close to him and his ramp won't come down.

That dumbass?



Hugo.  He apologize to John for his obnoxiously large mutton chops and says "I keep forgetting it's not the 70s anymore"  Hugo tells him that he owns the company and that Randy is a douchbag and that John should contact this number and "chin up."

Back on the island:  Flocke comes back from hunting children empty handed and leads Sawyer deeper into the woods.  Sawyer continues to follow him despite a desperate pleading from Richard not to.

"Look here, Dick.  I'll follow whoever I want to follow."

Sawyer tells Flocke the story of Mice and Men and then pulls a gun on him.  Flocke says "I already told you that I'm dead, James.  Shoot me if you must but I'm about to tell you everything."

Liar, liar, pants on fire!

Back at the big foot on the beach:

Ilana mourns her friends for 30 seconds and then says "Let's go to the temple."

Sun say, "Yeah, right.  The last person I followed turned out to be a Flocke and now you want me to follow you."

Ilana says, "If Jin is on this island he will be there."

Sun says, "It has been years since I've seen Jin but first we must bury Locke.  Screw all your dead friends inside the foot."

Ilana, Sun, Ben Linus and LePenis the pilot bury John Locke.

Ben's eulogy goes something like this.  "Roses are red, violets are blue.  I am very sorry that I killed you."

LePenis says "This is the weirdest damn funeral I've ever been too."

Back in LA:  John is applying for another job and who is coming to his aid?  Rose!



John's all "I want to do construction."
And Rose is all "Be serious, man, you are in a wheelchair."
And John's all, "you are prejudice."
And Rose is all, "I'm dying from stage four cancer because I never landed on the island."

She gets John a job as a teacher.


With Ben. 

Who apparently knows nothing about fashion but a lot about European history.

Back on the island:

Flocke nearly kills Sawyer with a mountain climb but in the end reveals a scale with the balance of good and evil represented by a white rock and a black rock.  He pitches the white rock out to sea and shows Sawyer the writing on the wall.  Literally.

Names and numbers.  Some crossed out and some not.

Flocke says "You can do nothing, you can stay and protect the island, or you can leave."

Sawyer says, "Let's catch the next sea serpent out of here."