Summer can't possibly be coming to an end!?!? It only just begun.

Sadly it is time to take off my flip flops and put on some sneakers. (have I ever told you how much I hate socks?)

This is our final Poolside Perspective of the season. Next week, Lessons from the lunchlady will return when I update all of you on my child nutrition summer workshop.

Here's what I learned at the pool.

You are never too old to jump off the high dive. I think as we age we begin to feel like there are things we just shouldn't do anymore. When my friend B was in line for the high dive the small boy behind her was simply flabbergasted. "Is you gonna jump off the high dive?" he asked. "Ain't you too old?". B said he was lucky he was cute.

Drowning your kid (or someone else's) is frowned upon. I swear all I wanted to do was jump on the raft and torture my friend B's son. Who knew he'd be so slippery and that we would both go tumbled off into the shallow; me crushing my knee into his head. I really wasn't trying to drown him.

Pool bathrooms disgust me. Can someone please hose those nasty,germ encrusted cesspools down? For the love of all things holy, can you please make your kid put shoes on. I vomit a little every time I see them run in barefoot.

Letting the child in charge of the bee sting spray = dumb idea. Middle G tramped on a bee this week and went to see the lifeguard who promptly gave her ice and let her friend spray some random bug spray on her foot. Seriously?

Are these inside out? Wearing you bathing suit bottoms inside out to the pool in front of two 11 year olds will cause much laughter and a lot of OMGs.

In conclusion, we had a lot of fun at the pool this year, we jumped off the dives, we floated in our rafts, we ate cheese fries, we made new friends.

Already looking forward to sitting poolside next year.

As my handful of regular readers know, during the school year I like to enlighten my readers every Friday with my Lessons_from_the_Lunchlady column.

Seeing as school has been out for three glorious weeks, I though today would be a good day to introduce a new column...Poolside Perspective.

A few of you may be familiar with my my_summer_goals one of which is to sit poolside with my BFF and eat cheese fries. Here's a few things we learned.

Some people are assholes. Of course I am referring to this amazingly_incompetent_mother who thought her infant would "just know" how to stay in the center of her baby seat. It makes me think that I may not be failing_my_parenting_class after all.

Swimsuits are available bigger. Let's be honest, no one wants to admit that they may need a bigger size. However, wearing something too small only makes the problem worse. Here's a simple checklist: Are my nipples showing? If these bottoms get wet will I still be able to get take them off. We come in many shapes and sizes. Embrace the size you are and remember: you are someones super model

Appropriate vs not appropriate. Seems my kids were stuggling with this concept all week. Little G danced on a picnic table like a rapper, Middle G had trouble playing nicely with more than one person, and I actually had to explain to my oldest why dunking people over 60 with your entire 100 pound frame may be considered annoying.

Oh say can you see. In my opinion, I don't think when Betsy Ross was sewing the flag she was sitting on her porch thinking, "Wow, I hope someone wears this as a swimsuit." ugh. Just barely covering your nipples and your butt with the American flag is offensive to me.

Monokinis should be outlawed. Unless you are a supermodel AND OVER THE AGE OF 21, you should not be wearing one of these. Oldest G has a 12 year old friend with one of these suits. Not appropriate.

In conclusion, the pool has been an educational place this week. We learned what not to wear, that table dancing should be left for clubbing, that dunking the elderly should only happen on SNL and that leaving your infant in a flotation device while texting is frowned upon.

What did you learn this week?