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Thursday, June 16, 2011

Five Reasons I am failing my parenting class

I decided to sign up for a small group at our church entitled "Effective Parenting in a Defective World" and so far I'm convinced that I am failing.

Here's why. 

Last week we covered eight areas we could focus on.  Seeing as I had no paper (and I call myself a journalist) and couldn't write anything down, I will hit the highlights. 

Spend one on one time with your children. 

Make eye contact when you are talking to them. 

Pray with them A LOT. 

Have clear expectations.


Four out of eight ain't bad, but it's not proficient.

This week we were supposed to report the results.  Of course, this week coincided with the first week of summer vacation so as you can imagine parenting has been a breeze **insert sarcasm font**

  1. Spending quality time.  Does going with mom to the OBGYN count as spending quality time with me?  Don't spit out your coffee, the girls stayed in the waiting room (Little G was at a bday party).  If tagging along with me to the doctors doesn't qualify than insert EPIC FAIL here.
  2. Praying for party guests.  I have this image of parents around the world holding hands with their kids and praying earnestly about world peace and the end of suffering for all kids worldwide.  This week I selfishly prayed that guests would actually show up for Middle Gs birthday party.  No one from her school class RSVPd and I have to admit that visions of us sitting at the pool with nary a guest in sight were causing me to have some sleepless nights.
  3. Making eye contact while screaming.  I am pretty sure when Chip Ingram was talking about the importance of eye contact he wasn't talking about me in my 12 year olds face asking why she insists on being a bully with her siblings.  Why can't we just get along?
  4. Clear expectations.  In my mind, my expectations are clear.  At the pool, the only rule is NO DROWNING.  At home, in public, in life, the rules are clear.    These rules include treat each other they way you would like to be treated (FAIL),  No hitting (FAIL), speak to each other with respect (FAIL), if you get it out, put it back (FAIL), keep your room clean (FAIL).  I guess I should be happy that no one has drown.
  5. The Perfect family. The facilitator this week told us to ask our kids what the perfect family looks like to them.  My sons answer "The perfect family has never heard of boy scouts and doesn't have to go.  There's no fighting and everyone loves each other."  I said I liked that last part about no fighting and everyone loving each other and he said "So you like your life?  I thought you didn't."  OUCH insert yet another EPIC FAIL.



5 random thoughts:

David Allen Waters said...

that last photo is priceless...it proves you are doing something right... ;)

Jenners said...

Those are some looks you are getting there!!! And at least no one has drowned!

P.S. What is it with people and not RSVPing? That is such a pet peeve of mine!!

Dan said...

Doctor's appointments always count as quality time - be they yours or theirs.

Kelly Garriott Waite said...

Funny! The thing is, we always think we're failing, but everyone else thinks we're doing a terrific job. Must be somewhere in the middle, rihgt? My family's raising a service dog and my neighbor recently told me we were the perfect family to do it. "Why," I said, "because the non-stop chaos over here with get the dog used to anything?"
"No," she replied. "because you're so disciplined and organized." We'll I'm not sure whose window she's looking in, but it can't be mine!

ReadyOrNot said...

So funny! I always feel like an idiot at those parenting studies at church, lol!

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kisatrtle
I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
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