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Friday, November 30, 2012

Lessons from Lunchlady: I don't wanna talk about strawberry milk

This week in the cafeteria we learned:

Not all cupcakes are created equal. When a kindergartner offered me a leftover cupcake from her classroom birthday celebration, I graciously accepted. When the cupcake holder popped open and all the remaining cupcakes came tumbling out into the hallway her 1st grade companion said, "Don't worry that icing's like cement. No germs can get through." Is it wrong that I helped them put them back into the container and continue with their deliveries?

Wanna hear a funny story? asked a 1st grader. "Sure," I said. She was laughing so hard in the breakfast line that it was almost hard to understand her as she recounted how her dad shot a deer the size of a dog and how he was embarrassed by its tiny size. Only in Pennsylvania.

If you give a teacher a garbage disposal... It might just make their day. When a teacher came down to the kitchen with some rancid fruit, we just told her how to operate the garbage disposal. She was giddy with power!!! LOL

I'll have hashbrowns, said a kindergartener. Confused I replied, "today's choice is corn or veggies with dip. I don't have any hashbrowns." His response... "Awe nuts."

There's no strawberry milk and I don't want to talk about it. For the second week in a row, we didn't recieve any strawberry flavored milk. When I asked the milkman why, he said "I don't really want to talk about it"... Um... Ok. I don't like talking about my flare either.

What did you learn this week?

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Ten reason I just love this boy!

I spent the evening with little G. We went to get his picture taken with THE BIG NUMBER NINE about a month and a half late. In my defense, he's still 9.

I should probably preface this post by saying I'm not one of those "make sure they match and look perfect" moms. I simply don't have time to be bothered by that. When I told Little G to put on pants without holes and a long sleeved shirt, I didn't question the fact that he put on stripes with camo pants. It was long sleeved and there were no holes. I did laugh a little when I realized at the photo studio that he had on knee high mismatched sock in rainbow shades.

But the fact that he loves those socks is just one of the many reasons I love him.

We went to dinner and he dropped honey mustard on to the floor. Without being told he cleaned it up.

He mixes all the fountain drinks into one nasty potion and loves it.

He cashes a check he got for his birthday and doesn't once complain about spending that money on Christmas presents for his sisters.

He believes without question that the Elf on a Shelf wrote "max was here" on his white board.

He loves all things that sparkle. Glitter, nail polish, Christmas lights, buttons, and coins.

He has a deep love for animals...both big and small.

He will still give me a hug at school in front of his friends.

He loudly sings Bruno Mars songs and changes the words to what he thinks they are and those words are rarely close.

He is always himself and tells the world, "take it or leave it, the choice is yours" and that is a quality we all should embrace.
Monday, November 26, 2012

Happy Made By Me Monday!

Hello Strangers! How have you all been? I took a little blogging break over the thanksgiving holiday to spend time with out of town family.

I hope all of you were at a table surrounded by those you love.

This week's made by me Monday features two wreaths. And let me just tell you, they are a lot easier than they look.

All you need are some plastic Christmas balls and a wire hanger. Take the hanger apart and shape it into a circle. String the Christmas balls on. If you are using multiple sizes and colors be sure to alternate them.

Once you get to the end, secure the hanger back together and add a bow. Perferably not as outlandishly large as mine.

Total cost of this project = about $5.00.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Lessons from the Lunchlady: Stuffing balls, stuffing balls, it's the holiday meal in the kitchen

This week we survived the holiday meal as well as serving the administration building. All turned out fine but damn that meal is messy. The cleanup is practically an entire day.

Here's what I learned:

kids do not know the difference between turkeys and chickens. More than 20 of them said "Miss Wendy, why you got a chicken on you head?" Um does this look like a chicken??

Parent visitation day needs a new name. I've blog about this torture before and am now proposing a name change. It should be called make your child cry day because if you show up and leave then your kid will cry and if you don't show up your kid will cry.

Ripe bannanas + Hershey Chocolate + cookies and cream whipped cream = a little 4 oz cup of heaven. Enough said.

Breakfast stomped on and spit out the holiday meal. Without a doubt, students would rather have pancakes and sausage than Thanksgiving any day of the week. Adults on the other hand arrive in droves for the holiday meal. Go figure.

It must be the "brownies". Which is apparently what the kids were calling the hash browns. Why don't the get that excited for peas???

What did you learn this week???
Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Ten Reasons Why I Suck at Blogging

I'm having a heck of time keeping up with my blog.  I'm having a heck of time visiting all of yours.  At first I couldn't figure out why, but then I realized that.

  1. I work full freakin' time.  Of course if you asked my husband about this he would say "by choice."  Still pissed off about that one.
  2. I'm still writing part-time for the newspaper.  This might not be the most effective use of my time, but damn I love having a byline.  It might be some sort of sickness that I am having trouble giving it up.
  3. Three kids live with me and they keep expecting me to feed them.  This is becoming increasingly difficult as I haven't yet made it to the grocery store.
  4. My housekeeper is AWOL.  Ever since my BFF got a housekeeper I have been incredibly jealous.  I mean sure she only comes one day, but day would be fan.freakin.tastic.
  5. I am suffering from a severe case of blog envy.  I've been told I'm funny.  I've got a fair shake of funny, sentimental, crafty and ranty on this blog, but yet the comments rarely come.  I totally love my fan club (they know who they are) and they comment always, even when i can't seem to return the favor because of all of the above.  AND I LOVE THEM!  I just wish there were more of them.
  6. November is filled with what feels like one half day after another.  Holy Moly--there are a lot of half days of school in November.
  7. Thanksgiving is next week.  We're hosting.  I'm most thankful that my husband likes to cook turkey as there is no way I'm touching that thing, let alone eating it.
  8. Is it really time to talk about Christmas?  Ever get the feeling that your kids are spoiled rotten and don't deserve much, if anything, for Christmas.  Is it wrong that I'd just like to get them socks and underwear and wrap up all the shit they don't play with but asked for last year?
  9. NaNoWriMo.  Seriously??  Don't I have enough to do?  Why am I writing another book?  I'll tell you why...because Ally and Sue (the two main characters) won't LEAVE ME ALONE.  For all my non-writing friends, no I haven't lost my mind.  For all my writing friends, you know what I'm talking about.  They show up in your dreams.  They bug you while you're looking for mac & cheese in the freezer.  They holler at me for writing this blog post instead of writing their chapter.  Crap.
  10. PTO is sucking the life out of me.  If one more person complains about fundraising, fall fest, fun fest, conference dinners, allergies, time management, membership, or field trips, I'm going to punch them.
And this is why I suck at blogging.  Sigh.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Made by me Monday: is it gonna snow??

It's gonna snow for sure because I actually spent time in my craft room.

Here's what I made...

You can't tell from the photo but they light up with one of those fake candles. My 11 year old helped. It was kind of fun. We made the noses out of clay; the face is a paint marker.

Total cost $3.00

I'm also sharing this card that I made for a friend. The nuts are from the create a critter cricut cartridge.

The inside. It still makes me laugh.

Happy Monday
Friday, November 9, 2012

Lessons from the LunchLady: um..wait...whose birthday is it? OH CRAP

Where has the week gone? I feel behind on everything from housework to blogging and NaNoWriMo.

Here's what I learned this week.

Vowels make a world of difference. While serving Frudels for breakfast, a student paused after taking his tray and said... "Wait, are there worms in this?" This is why vowels are really important. There is a huge difference between worm and warm.

Helium makes life fun. If you suck some helium out of a balloon and then tell kids to "use your walking feet", you will get their attention (and maybe even a smile).

Peas look nothing like green beans. Peas are round and green beans are long. Why can't kids tell them apart?

I willy wike carrots, said a kindergartener as a way of asking me if I could take the celery out of his cup and give him more carrots. Have I ever told you that I have a soft spot for willy cute kindergarteners.

Birthday basket disaster thankfully avoided. Know anyone with the exact same birthday as you? Imagine if you are turning six and can barely contain your excitement. Imagine if all your lunchladies and your custodian came to your classroom bringing treats for everyone, wearing hats and singing TO SOMEONE ELSE! Yep...that's what happened. We came to sing to one boy only to find out he shared the exact same birthday as another boy in his class and only one parent ordered a birthday basket. We did what any reasonable lunch ladies would do. We added the other boy to the song and I returned with an extra birthday crown and a little goodie bag.

Lets be serious, you just can't go walking around newly six thinking that the lunch ladies forgot your birthday. You just can't...

What did you learn this week?
Saturday, November 3, 2012

Lessons from the Lunchlady: Even One Day in the Kitchen is Educational

This week in the cafeteria, we served one day of hot lunch.  As stated in my post last week, I was told to brace for Hurricane Sandy and be prepared for a possible early release on Monday. 

Well school on Monday never materialized. 

School on Tuesday also didn't happen

We had a two hour delay on Wednesday which cancelled breakfast.

Thursday and Friday were previously scheduled teacher work days so we had school for approximately five hours.  Of which, my son, proudly announced that he watched Pippi Longstocking.  It is an excellent movie...

Here's what I learned one the only day we served lunch this week.

Only those over the age of 10 like black bean salsa.  When I mix black beans with salsa and corn the adults come a running.  Add some rice and put taco salad on the menu and you'll get some takers.  The kids...not so much.

Walk Away Tacos is a culturally diverse meal.  Me taking temps:  Rice - Mexican 167 degrees; Beans - Black - 145; Turkey - taco - 160;  bahahahaha  For some reason it made me laugh.  Maybe you had to be there.

Stupid can use a photocopier:  My co-worker was given a pamphlet at the Halloween Parade containing multiple versus of scripture and indicating that her mere presence there was proof she was going to hell.'s a parade.  It's not genocide?  It's not sacrifical offerings.  It's firetrucks and candy. 

Halloween is not a good day to have school.  There are days when kids get excited.  Right before Christmas Break.  The first snow fall.  Every freaking full moon.  Nothing compares to Halloween after having two weather emergency days.  WOW.

Seashell pasta and meatballs  Seems this meal is our lowest count and it might be on the chopping block.  What is your kids favorite school lunch meal?  Did you like school pasta when you were a kid?

What did you learn this week?

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I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some meant some comments.
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