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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Hump Day Craft post: a handful of thanks

We have quite a few student teachers gracing the halls of our elementary building and two of them are leaving us next week.

Since I am always looking for an excuse to make a craft, I decided to make them each a hand print bouquet.

I really like these spring colors. If you wanna make one here's what you need:

An inexpensive vase. I chose white and used a paint pen to put our school colors of orange and black paw prints on it.

Coordinating card stock.
All the students hand prints.
Green pipe cleaners
A flower punch to make the centers.

The flowers are the kids hands rolled and glued by their thumbs. The fingers are curled back. The pipe cleaner stem is placed in the middle and the punch is put on top.

I added the class photo this year. (not pictured) One side has a goofy pic and one side has a serious pic. I put it on a holder and placed it in the middle of the arrangement.

The tag reads "a handful of thanks".

If there is any interest, perhaps I will make a video tutorial.

Happy hump day
Tuesday, February 28, 2012

First, I'd like to thank the Academy....

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all of you for coming out tonight and wearing all your favorite designers.

It's great to have this opportunity to thank all of you for your love and support. Turns out (insert small squeal) people are actually reading this blog!

One of my new favorite bloggers is Pish Posh a brutally honest teacher who makes me laugh.

She recently gave me the Liebster award and called me thoughtful and creative and one of the funniest lunch ladies she knows.

I love just about everything Pish writes. She is open, honest and refreshing. Sometimes we tend to be guarded and unwilling to share our actually opinions for fear they might offend. Pish Posh doesn't apologize for her opinion and I like that about her.

Some of my favorite posts from her include this letter to her students about the things she cannot say and this one about homeschooling.

As part of the award I'm supposed to spread the love like jelly on warm toast to five of my favorite bloggers.

W&W with Wendy a former co-worker of mine sharing her life's adventures. She always gives me lots to ponder.

Long Toes an eclectic bunch of goodies. The name alone makes you wanna look.

Mitchell is Moving amazing photos of a grand adventure!

Kim at Yep, they're all mine a non mom blogger who keeps things real

let me start by saying that you should also be reading this blog. If not, how will you know the dangers of Max and Ruby?

Thanks again for the shout out Pish! Really appreciate it!
Monday, February 27, 2012

What is on your mind Monday?

Today I am listing ten things I am currently pondering.

Why do people keep asking me stupid questions? I have been asked some of the most outlandish questions lately from "Are you pregnant?" to "can you send a two week old turkey sub home with my kid?"

Will my husband's job remain stateside? Let's be clear. I don't want to move. I like our school district. I like the house we live in. I certainly don't want to live overseas and my husband's contant Asian travel is making me wonder if that decision lies in our not-to-distant future.

I dislike everyone running for president. Seriously? These are the only choices?

Nothing annoys me more than a rumor. If you have no facts to support your story, your email or your life, please refrain from sharing it. With me or anyone else.

Society is obsessed with death. I wish ABC family would have played The BodyGuard BEFORE Whitney died.

Concered about a certification I need to take prior to my head cook/cafe manager gig kicks in. I am not a great test taker. Appaently, a biology course sometime in my life might have been beneficial. I have to know all sorts of foodborn illnesses. Great. I hardly eat much as it is.

More and more convinced that life is seldom fair. Good people get sick. Inadequate people keep their jobs.

My fitness pal is a clever app that counts your calaries. It is a little time consuming and tends to tell me things i already know like I eat a lot of carbs.

Looking forward to my daughter's makeover party this weekend. A friend is providing makeup lessons. Should be a hoot!

Very thankful for the tasty glass of wine I am drinking. Pondering getting another one.

What is on your mind?

Friday, February 24, 2012

Lessons from the Lunchlady: some call me dictator; others just leave off the tator

Considering this was a short week because of the President's Day holiday, it felt incredibly long. I learned a lot this week. Some of it good and some...not so good.

High school Asian chicken is a little spicy. This week were celebrating Hong Kong and our country meal of the week included an asian stir fry, rice and a fortune cookie. I tasted the sauce and was surprised by how spicy it was. Mind you I like spicy. My boss attempted to try it on a piece of chicken as she was sure it couldnt be THAT spicy. was.

It's hard to draw politically correct Asian rice. It's almost embarrasing the amount of thought I put into this dry erase drawing. I didn't want it to offend anyone. Of course, just as lunch is about to start one of the aides asks me why the rice bowl has a penis along the side of his head. Seriously? That's his headband bow. Ugh. And I was worried about his eyes.

The job is yours...if you dare. Turns out I worried needlessly about the LUNCHLADY TEST OF TORTURE. At the start of the 2012-2013 school year I will be the new head cook/manager. If this goes as well as my current PTO president stint, I'll have numerous people pissed by midSeptember.

The custodian asked if I was pregnant. Seriously? I haven't put on any significant weight lately so why he would say that boggles my mind. Is it wrong to admit to you that i contemplated his death?

Kid appropriate fortunes. Anyone know of a company that provides kid appropriate fortune cookies? A first grader got one this week that said "You will be recognized and honored as a community leader." um...maybe he could learn to tie his shoes first.

What did you learn this week?

Thursday, February 23, 2012

An open letter to my daughter on the eve of her 13th birthday

Dear Oldest G,

It's that time of the year again. 

The time of the year when I reflect on how fast time really does fly.  The time of the year when I try not to think of all the things I've probably done wrong as we journey through parenthood together.

It's the time of the year when we celebrate the day you came into our lives and changed everything.

At 2:25 a.m. you will officially be a teenager.  I don't think I'm ready.  The thought makes me feel old.  I can't possibly be old enough to have a teenage daughter.  Can I?

While I was certain last February that you would be taller than me come your 13th birthday, I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm just a little bit glad that you're not.  Granted, we are eye level and the likelihood that you grow taller than my 5'2 frame this summer is strong.  For now, I'm holding on tight to that last little reminder that you are my baby.

Those sweet wispy curls are all but gone.  Those chubby cheeks have vanished.  You seldom call me mommy, though every now and then it slips out.  Your voice is no longer childish and is often mistaken for mine.  Sometimes I am bewildered by how quickly your body went from child to young adult. 

It is hard to believe that in five short years you will be leaving for college.  There are so many things that I am looking forward to teaching you and so many things I am afraid of your learning.

I look forward to teaching you to drive, yet I am afraid that once you learn you may no longer want to come back.  I look forward to meeting the boy that wins your heart but fear you may have to have it broken a few times before you find him.  I've imagined your graduation.  I've seen your wedding.  In my mind, I've held your baby.

My advice to you is to savor the little things because that old saying about them being the big things really is true.  Visit the ocean whenever you can.  Put your feet in the sand.  Eat cheesecake.  Laugh as often as possible.  Surround yourself with people who feed your mind and your soul and avoid those who don't. 

Find something you love and learn how to get paid to do it.  If that's not possible, continue to do what you love even if you can't make a living at it. 

Never be afraid to step out of your comfort zone.   You might be surprised where that will take you. 

Will you accomplish all you set out to do?  The odds are against that but don't get discouraged.  Maybe what you thought was a wrong turn was just a different path.

Most importantly, always treat others they way you want to be treated, even when they may not be treating you that way.  Remember that you are better than no one and no one is better than you.

All my love,

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Hump Day Craft Post: A disney album for a friend

Last year as a gift for a friend I made this Disney scrapbook album.  I had a lot of fun making it and (though I worried about) my friend absolutely loved it.  I never made anything quite like it for someone else before and I worried that my tastes (which tends to be a little juvenile) wouldn't be quite her style.

But I worried for no reason.  She loved it so much that when they went to Disney again she asked me if I would make her another album, even offering to pay for it.

After about six weeks of work, I gave her the new album last week.  I'm happy to report that she was just as happy with this one.  Maybe even a little more.  With her permission, I am sharing it with you.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

NANOWRIMO update: reaching my goal has become increasingly difficult

I was hoping to finish my NaNoWriMo novel by February 15th. Today is the 21st. It is not complete.

I am trying to convince myself that this does not make me a failure. This just makes my sucess a slower accomplishment. I will finish the book. I will conquer the first draft.

My first NaNoWriMo book flowed much like this one. My characters came to life. My protagonist became my friend.

To not complete this book would be a failure to our friendship...mine and Mandy's. Trust me. I am aware that she isn't real but I think some of her pain, some of her joy really is.

It lives within me. Writing it is an emotional process that I sometimes have to force myself to take.

Even if no eyes ever look upon the story, I will know whether it is complete or not.

I will know if Mandy is whole.

Setting my focus on the ides of March.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Once Upon a Time: What Happened to Frederick

This week's episode was packed full of details making recapping the event somewhat difficult.

In Storybrook:

David became synopsis with liar, liar, pants on fire.  He learns from Kathryn that she has applied and been accepted to law school in Boston.

His reaction is to go for a walk with Mary Margaret.  MM decides to pull out the honest card because we all know that people having a heated affair think about honesty A LOT.  She implores David to tell Kathryn that he cannot go to Boston.  He says OK, but we all have our doubts.

Meanwhile we learn that being a biker and a writer is a plausible combination and the name of our mystery writer is indeed...August Wayne Booth. least he didn't say John Wilkes Booth.

He invites Emma for a drink and hauls her off to some enchanted wishing well where they can get water from a magic lake.  "If you drink from it, something that is lost will be returned to you."


We are privy to a scene in which August is carefully drying and rebounding a book.  Could it be THE book of stories that Henry is missing?

Sure enough after drinking from the wishing well the book just finds Emma underneath her car.  It appears August had something to do with it.  His role in this story is still quite a mystery to me.

David encourages Kathryn to go to Boston but fails to mention why he cannot go with her.  He every so charmingly tells her that he doesn't want to hold her back.  I threw up in my mouth a little.

Kathryn goes to visit her BFF...oh wait...she doesn't have any friends so she goes to see Regina who promptly lies to her and says Sydney took pictures of MM and David and she is "Oh so sorry"  Kathryn loses it and goes to the school where she promptly embarrasses MM.  Soon the entire town is calling her a tramp even though most of them are not sleeping with their husbands either.  The worst part, she knows that David did not tell Kathryn and is lying to them both.  Charming...isn't it?

Regina tries to replace Henry's book with a video game, but Emma surprises him with the return of the book he longed to see.

After ruining MM's professional life, Kathryn has a change of heart.  She writes David a letter blessing his relationship with MM.  Of course, before leaving she must reveal her plan to Regina...her BFF.  Regina gives her blessing then promptly steals and burns the letter. 

Kathryn never makes it out of Storybrook.  Where she can only guess.  Her car was off the side of the road, airbag deployed, empty.  It looked like Frederick was first on the scene.

In Fairytale land,

James flees from King George's kingdom.  He is a little angry.  He sends his men.  James is captured but not by Abigail.

He is determined not to marry someone he doesn't love.  Her response..."How charming."

She doesn't love him either.  Her true love was turned to gold when he saved her father Midas from an attack.  The only way to break his curse is to gather water from Lake Nostos.  Of course, the lake is guarded by an evil beast.

James agrees to get the water for she can save her true love.

"If I return to you then you will be happy and free of pain and if the beast drowns me then I will be free of pain."

James finds the lake and is greeted by a mermaid of sorts that can change into whomever she desires.  She takes the appearance of Snow and nearly succeeds in drowning James but he tells her that he knows what true love feels like and it is not this.  In the end he manages to stab her and retrieve the water for Kathryn.

She pours the water over her golden lover and her returns to her.  He give James a horse and some supplies so he too may find Snow.

James doesn't find Snow but he does find Red.  She tells him that Snow went to the castle to break up his wedding that she does indeed love him.

They are found by King George and he swoops Red onto his horse and they flee into the woods. 

What did you think of this weeks episode?
Friday, February 17, 2012

Lessons from the lunchlady: where are the cupcakes?

This week in the cafeteria I learned that I don't do well on little sleep, that budget concerns make for low morale, and that I'm thankful for my long weekend.

Birthday Cupcakes. Our students are still allowed to bring in cupcake birthday treats. They often eat them during lunch to avoid making a mess in their classrooms. Today a little kindergartener was perplexed by the fact that the cafeteria staff didn't give him a cupcake. Appearently, he never knew they came from home. He was a little disappointed.

There is saliva on this. We ran the plastic spoons through the dishwasher and when we put them out they were a little damp. A first grader said, "Excuse me, there is saliva on this." Ummm....goodness that is gross.

Peppers in my pepper. I was cutting red peppers today and found a little green pepper inside it. I thought this was boss says it happens all the time. So I ask you...have you ever seen a pepper in your pepper?

Perfect inspection. The health inspector popped in this week and we passed again with flying colors. It's not unusual to get written up for stupid things like apples with no tongs or dirt in a ceiling vent. Knock on wood, we've been perfect three times in a row.

Libya was on the menu. We had a dried fruit mixture on the menu for our Libya meal. It included dried, cherries, cranberries, rasins and sunflowers. It was delicious. Sadly, I think only 10 kids actually tried it.

Elementary kids don't eat anything unless it's a breaded piece of chicken.

What did you learn this week?
Thursday, February 16, 2012

Writer's Workshop: I wanna dance with somebody who loves me

Unless you are completely out of touch with reality you probably heard that Whitney Houston died last Saturday.

Apparently, when you are famous your death effects people in weird ways.

I will admit that I was slightly surprised but not entirely shocked. Whitney has struggled with very public addiction problems for a very long time. Even before Bobby.

After hearing about her death, I had an overwhelming urge to watch The Bodyguard with Kevin Costner, listen to I will always love you and dance with somebody who loves me.

In all seriousness, the song Dance with Somebody reminds me of working the closing shift at Burger King when I was about sixteen. The customers were gone. The building was empty. The doors were locked. The radio was blarring.

Belt it out Whitney!!!

My co-worker was singing while wiping down the front of the kitchen. I was singing and dancing while mopping the back.

More than 20 years have passed since then and so many things have changed. What hasn't changed is that I am still dancing and singing in the back of a kitchen.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine's Day Hype: the good, the bad, the baloney

Stole this pic from Pat, who has a very interesting post on the evolution of Valentines.

I'm not big on Valentine's Day.

I (gasp) don't really like chocolate unless it's been stuffed with peanut butter.

Cut flowers die and I'd rather have a planted tree.

Stuffed animals gather dust.

My hubby is keenly aware of this.

We have been together for 20 Valentine's Days. That's a lot of chocolate. That's a lot of flowers.

This year I got strawberries drizzled in chocolate. You can't really go wrong with that!

And let's be serious, just about anything is better than baloney.

Happy Valentine's Day!

What do you do to celebrate?

Monday, February 13, 2012

Once Upon A Time: Skin Deep

After a week off, Once Upon A Time returned last night with a Beauty and the Beast episode. I was excited to see Emilie DeRaven (Claire, from LOST) joining the ABC cast.

In Storybrook

Belle's dad, the florist, gets his truck reposessed by Rumple. Just a few days before Valentine's Day. He is not happy about this.

David and Snow share a brief encounter at the diner. He is reading Withering Heights. (I think) Red suggests that she, Ashley (Cinderella) and Snow go out for Valentine's day. Skip the men.

Rumples house gets broken into. Emma responds but Gold doesn't seem too excited to see her. He tells her that he is a difficult man to love. Indeed.

She recovers most of his stolen goods within a few days, but he is missing something precious and determined to find it. We see him at the drug store buying duct tape and rope. David is buying two Valentines...ouch.

We watch as Rumple takes Belle's dad to a cabin in the words and basically beats him with a cane. Yelling you took her! You shunned her! You need to give her back! Emma intervenes. She arrests Rumple.

The Evil Queen comes to the jail and asks for 30 minutes alone with Rumple. Emma abides. She takes Henry for ice cream.

Regina wants Mr. Gold to tell her his name. And then she will give him what he seeks. After much prying he replies "Rumplestiltskin". Ouch. So he does remember. What does she give him...a chipped tea cup.

Meanwhile, in a rather cute moment, Sean proposes to Ashley. In a rather awkward moment, David gives MaryMargaret the wrong card. Sorry...Prince Charming that's a deal breaker.

In the final scene, we see Regina visit Belle in a mental hospital. Belle is looking rough, humgging herself in the corner. She is very much alive.

In fairytale land...

The story is significantly darker. With her kingdom falling to war, Rumple is their last hope, Belle's father offers riches but Rumple asks for Belle. She doesn't love Gaston, whom she is pledged too. She goes with Rumple.

"No one decides my fate but me," said Belle

Rumple takes her to his castle and locks her up. After awhile, he lets her out. She begins to enjoy his company. He begins to tell her a little bit about his son and his wife. she chips one of his tea cups but he doesn't seem to mind. Gaston comes looking for her but Rumple turns him into a rose.

After a little bit of time, Belle begins to grow fond of Rumple. He releases her. She runs into the EQ. She tells her that all curses can be broken by true loves kiss. Um...kind of cheesey.

Belle returns to the castle. She kisses Rumple who begins to change. But he decides that she is tricking him. He doesn't want to lose his power.

He tells her to leave. She flees.

Rumple smashes many things but leaves the chipped glass.

Later he is visited by the EQ who tells him that Belle's father shunned her. That after her fiance went missing, she couldnt be trusted. He locked her in a tower and she jumped to her death.

Rumple appears crushed.

After the EQ leaves Rumple displays his chipped glass prominately in the main hall. As if to indicate that he is broken and always will be.

Next week. Prince Charming, Snow and a creepy mermaid!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Lessons from the Lunchlady: Puke-a-palooza with a side of Mesclun

The curtain is about to set on this week and I learned A LOT.

The oven is an important piece of equipment.  Ever since reading the book Save Me by Lisa Scottoline in which an elementary school explodes and all the lunchladies die, I've been ever so slightly obsessed with gas leaks.  We had a teeny one this week which was promptly fix but then the oven decided that it would not cook the following day.  Talk about plan B.  We got the chicken cooked by the fries mocked us.  So we served salad.

Feta Cheese smells different to children.  The kiddos were learning about Israel this week so we served a lovely fish nugget meal with a feta, tomato and cucumber salad.  More than once, some helpful kindergartners told me they were "pretty sure somebody fro'd up in there."  If I tell em' that's the cheese, do you think they'll still taste it?  In their defense, it has been Puke-a-palooza this week at school.  We've got kids droppin' left and right from the Puke-a-saurus Virus.  Here's hoping I can continue to fend that one off.

Hummus can be mistaken for peanut butter.  Also part of our Tastes of Israel, we served a quarter of a pita bread spread with hummus.  Let's just say that if you're thinking peanut butter and you bite into hummus, you're gonna be disappointed.

I'll have a 1 oz serving of new regulations with a side of Mesclun.   I learned this week that starting next year protein servings for K-8 drop from 2 oz. to 1 oz. of protein.  If the kids are already upset with four chicken nuggets does that mean next year they only get two?  Also dark green and orange veggies need to be served three or more times a week.  I'm not sure about mesclun (pictured above) or butternut squash.  Personally, those are hard sells for grown ups.

There is a good chance that I'm not smarter than a lunchlady manager.  I decided to apply for my boss's position as Cafeteria Manager.  Turns out you have to take a five page written test for this position and I didn't study.  Um...admitting that this test was difficult probably makes me look really stupid, but I feel confident that you guys will give me some comment love.  Here are some examples of the questions.

You have an employee who is refusing to wear a hairnet, what do you do?  Not sure why there were four lines for the answer because my approach needed a lot fewer lines.

After being the manager for one year, give me three words each that the students, the teachers, the administrators, and the Child Nutrition Director will use to describe you?  I hope employed is in there somewhere...LOL

How many cups are in 30 gallonsIf you have 497 students eating cheeseburgers and the burgers come in 30 lbs cases and each case has 6 sleeves of 9 hamburgers how many cases do you need?  How many dozen buns?  How many flats of buns is that if each flat contains 30?

Above is a sample menu for breakfast and for lunch.  Under the current Foodservice guidelines are they reimbursable meals?  If not, what would you add? 

Did I mention this was five pages?

What did you learn this week?
Thursday, February 9, 2012

Writer's workshop: Ten years ago

Ten years ago, I was living in Ohio.

Ten years ago, I was a stay-at-home mother of two daughters. One, almost 3 years old and the other barely eight months old.

Ten years ago, I wrote occassional articles for a parenting magazine about the challenges of multiples, the sleep patterns of infants, the difficulties of breastfeeding and the odds of gender selection.

Ten years ago, our house was much smaller but our yard was a little bigger.

Ten years ago, I had a different circle of friends. This core group now spans multiple states but we still try to keep in touch.

Ten years ago, I was learning about the joys of having a child in preschool.

Ten years ago, I was certain I would never catch up on my sleep.

Ten years ago, my day consisted of library story time, tons of laundry, carpools to preschool, playdates and sippy cups.

Ten years later and a lot has changed.

Our family has grown.

Our home is now in PA.

I no longer go to storytime but every now and again I get to read books like Lunch Bunnies to oh-so-cute kindergarteners.

The sippy cups are gone but the laundry has grown.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Wonderfully Random Wednesday: Chuck E Cheese, Gym Class Heros, and becoming a doctor

It's been a while since I had a wonderfully random post. Today seems like a good day. Warning: this post may be a clear indicator of just how likely it is that I have Adult ADD.

Snow. Hello winter! How nice of you to stop by. Actually, I haven't missed you a bit. In fact, few people have. You're kind of like that scarey aunt who everyone's favorite uncle is married to. We only put up with you because we have too.

I may need one of these shirts. It's part of the I hate balls promotion. There is a video by Katherine Heigl that is soo funny. Stop gasping. It's not what you're thinking. It's meant to encourage fixing your pets. OMG it is a hoot. If you haven't watched it, you really should.

Ovens are a lunchlady's friend. I am having a little tift with the one in our kitchen, but more about that on Friday.

Once Upon A Time. Still love this show but blogging about it leaves little satisfaction. The posts are hardly read and a lot of work to write. When I try to link up with others they ask me not to. I'm not sure they will continue.

I've been obsessing over Gym Class Heros lately. This is one of my favorites. I like it even more when it shuffles into my iphone play mix inbetween things like Rhianna, Reba, GaGa, Travie McCoy, Lady Antebellum and Sara Bareilles. My music collection has ADD too.

This stupid Chuck E Cheese post remains one of my most popular. I am linking it here just so I can work the words Chuck E Cheese into another post.

I am almost done with my second book! I love the characters in it so much I'm not sure I want it to end.

I suffer from blog envy. There are often times when I want to stand up and say (clears throat) "WTF my blog is funny..why aren't you reading me!" and then I try to remind myself that I blog for me and not for them. Of course, that doesn't usually help much.

This post about why I'm not a doctor yet is clearly a lot funnier than the one about Chuck E. Cheese and let's be clear he's no closer than I am to becoming a doctor!

Monday, February 6, 2012

I've become one of those people: An open letter to myself.

Dear Kisa,

Someone needs to tell you.  You've become...dare i say it...a little negative. 

Your having trouble seeing the positive.  Lately, you're focusing a lot of your energy on things that you cannot change and not focusing enough of your energy on the things you can change.

You really need to stop.

People aren't going to want to hang out with you.

Repeat after me...

It is okay if some people completely ignore your texts.  Perhaps they are trying to give you a hint.  They just don't want to talk to you.  Instead of feeling hurt, consider it a blessing.  If they don't have enough time to text you, they really aren't worth your time.

True...your kids have been fighting a lot.  Try to notice when they aren't fighting as much as you notice when they are fighting.  I think you might be surprised that they are actually getting along more often than they are fighting.

Simply put, some things are just out of your control.  School budget cuts, field trip costs, cafeteria management changes, PTO drama...the list can go on and on and on.  You cannot fix it.  No matter what you do.

No matter what you do.

And you know what?  That's okay.

Work on your book more.  Scrapbook more pictures.  Braid your daughters' hair.  Get your toenails painted. 

Focus less on the things you cannot change and more on the things you can. 

I know you can do it.

But you have to be willing to try.


Friday, February 3, 2012

Lesson from the Lunchlady: Stop peaing on that!

This week in the cafeteria, I learned how to make chicken corn soup, i remembered how much I hate it when the custodian takes a personal day and I started to come to terms with my bosses soon-to-be a reality retirement.

I hate soup. If you know me even a little bit, this will nit surprise you. According to my co-workers, not eating soup is the equivalent of not wearing clothes. It's absurd. Everyone likes soup. Except me. Monday was chicken corn soup day. My boss always makes it but, as previously discussed, she is leaving (insert weeping). On Monday I learned how to make the soup. Here's hoping they'll be someone in the building left to taste it.

Why they are tiny balls of meat. My boss has served her children, her grandchildren and is now serving a great grandchild. This 2nd grader asked her what a meatball was. "Tiny balls of meat," she replied. "Tiny balls of meat." Then she began to ponder what children eat these days.

Did you pea on that? Lunch ladies, like everyone else, enjoy a little potty humor every now and again. Potty humor that messes with others is even better. We have some very young student teachers in the house and when my co-worker got peas all over a lid and I loudly announced in front of one of the student teachers that I really wish she'd stop peaing all over everything, her face was priceless.

I don't have to listen to're a janitor! Say what? This is what a 2nd grader thought was a proper response when asked to stop doing what she was doing by our beloved custodian. She quickly learned that all adults in our building are worthy of respect.

A good evil laugh can make your day. I've talked a lot about my house mouse this week. My co-worker bust out in the world's best evil laugh while trying to explain what kind of deadly traps to get. It was sort of like this...

except with a hair net...

What did you learn this week?

Thursday, February 2, 2012

An open letter to the mouse in our house: Part two

Dear house mouse,

You are lucky that my son is an animal lover. You are lucky that my husband is flexible.

I told you yesterday that you were a goner.

I warned you that the lemon cookies were the last straw.

Then my son came home with a live trap. Catch and release.

And after five days of avoiding death in a snap trap, we caught you on the first try with the live trap.

My son was giddy with happiness.

He got dressed at 6:30 in the morning just so he could let you go. He went for a walk with Daddy and they let you go in a field.

Little G said, "Mom, he was so happy he was dancing!".

You better keep on dancing far away from those lemon cookies!

Best wishes, Mr. Mouse.


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

An Open letter to the mouse in my house

Dear mouse,

I don't want to kill you, but unfortunately, you have overstayed your welcome. You have eaten the lemon cookies. I don't know if you are aware of this, but I love lemon cookies and now you have tanted them.

I don't know if you walked all over them looking for the most lemony one. I don't know if you tasted a few before you picked one to gnaw on or what. Let's be clear...this grosses me out!


Because of this, I have decided that I now must kill you.

You, however, seem to be against this idea. In fact, you cleaned the peanut butter off of two traps and have yet to die.

Here's how I see it...this is your last chance. Pack up the family and get out of my house.

Tonight the traps are set with lemon cookies and I have a feelin that it might just be your last meal.


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I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some meant some comments.
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