This week in the cafeteria we learned:

Not all cupcakes are created equal. When a kindergartner offered me a leftover cupcake from her classroom birthday celebration, I graciously accepted. When the cupcake holder popped open and all the remaining cupcakes came tumbling out into the hallway her 1st grade companion said, "Don't worry that icing's like cement. No germs can get through." Is it wrong that I helped them put them back into the container and continue with their deliveries?

Wanna hear a funny story? asked a 1st grader. "Sure," I said. She was laughing so hard in the breakfast line that it was almost hard to understand her as she recounted how her dad shot a deer the size of a dog and how he was embarrassed by its tiny size. Only in Pennsylvania.

If you give a teacher a garbage disposal... It might just make their day. When a teacher came down to the kitchen with some rancid fruit, we just told her how to operate the garbage disposal. She was giddy with power!!! LOL

I'll have hashbrowns, said a kindergartener. Confused I replied, "today's choice is corn or veggies with dip. I don't have any hashbrowns." His response... "Awe nuts."

There's no strawberry milk and I don't want to talk about it. For the second week in a row, we didn't recieve any strawberry flavored milk. When I asked the milkman why, he said "I don't really want to talk about it"... Um... Ok. I don't like talking about my flare either.

What did you learn this week?

Holy Crap!  I learned a lot this week and I only worked three days!  Imagine the wealth of knowledge I would be able to share with you if I actually worked five days!

Go get the alcohol.  Clearly this means something totally different to me than it does to my boss.  She meant the alcohol wipes we use to clean our thermometers.  I thought she had a secret stash I wasn't aware of.

If you're in your 90s chances are you won't die of congenital heart failure.  Ever have one of those words that just doesn't sound right.  I was trying to relay how my grandma's brother passed away and when I said congenital it sounded so wrong.  My co-workers laughed and corrected me.  They said congestive.  They mocked me most of the day about my congenitals, but I was still convinced that it was a real word.  Those to just wouldn't be swayed until our Dr. Principal concurred.  She must feel like a genius when she eats with us.

Kids have no idea what chili is.  We had chili this week and a lot of our kids were thrown for a loop.  One exceptionally articulate kindergartner nearly started to cry, insisting that he didn't order soup that he ordered hot lunch.  When I offered to (gasp) change his lunch to PB&J or a turkey sandwich his response, "I do so like turkey sandwiches."

Keep the hot water in the pan.  I managed to spill very hot water down the front of my pants.  It involved pulling slotted pans from a steamer and not realizing just how much water was still in there.  This incident prompted two things: an immediate visit to the bathroom to apply burn cream and the idea for a line of injured-at-work greeting cards.  "Heard you got all hot and bothered at work this week."

Everyone looks the same from behind.  Ok...not everyone.  We were all sitting down to lunch when a teacher from another building hollered to us, "Have you seen Dr. Principal?".  Um...no...oh wait.  She's just sitting right here beside me.  The teacher's response, "Oh, I didn't realize.  You look just like everyone else, I mean, well, not that, um...can I talk to you for a minute." 

Wait...are you saying lunch ladies look a certain way?





Say no to crack.  The last thing I learned this week was be careful just how low the rise of your pants falls.  There is a lot of bending in this job and your co-workers might not want to see your ass crack. 

This last one sort of proves that there is a certain look to lunch ladies, doesn't it?

What did you learn this week?

This week the sun returned to Pennsylvania and lifted my mood greatly.

Here are a few things I learned.

Silverware chutes are fun. We've had kids put their trays down the chute and plastic ware down the chute. This week we had a cute little Spoon from the movie Cars come down for a visit.

Green beans....um corn. Nope these are peas. It continues to amaze me (and sometimes sadden me) how often the kiddos at our school do not recogonize the vegetable of the day.

Five digit numbers + kindergarteners = headache. At breakfast the students are asked to memorize their student ids so we can easily check them out for breakfast. It's a form of torture trying to teach each number to the kindergartners.

Would you like a super salad? Yes, please. The problem? My boss was asking would you like soup or salad. The kids couldn't figure what made the salad super.

What temperature is my milk? We had a third grader ask us if his milk was the right temperature...um seriously? You should have seen his face when my manager stuck a thermometer right down in it. 41 degrees. Perfect!

In conclusion, remember only school silverware goes down the chute. Peas look nothing like corn. Five digit numbers should not be given to the five year olds. Try salad or soup...it might be less confusing and never ask a person with access to a thermometer what temperature your milk is unless you really wanna know.

What did you learn this week?