This week Mama Kat asked me to list ten things that make me angry.  Oh Vey.  Just thinking about them is enough to make me pour another glass of wine.  In  fact, I just can't bring myself to do it so instead I'm listing the ten things that get on my nerves at board meetings.

I probably attend more meetings than most people.  I cover three school districts and one township for a local newspaper.  I write engrossing stories about graduation, speed bumps, new hotel chains, fire stations, school budgets and new principals.

If you have never attended a public meeting of any kind, don't speak.  If you have never been to a township meeting or a school board meeting or even a PTO meeting, speaking the first time you attend is a really bad idea.

Grandstanding.  Why does everything have to be political?  Please don't pretend that you are doing taxpayers some great service when you are really only doing what you are doing for your own agenda.

Know the law.  Don't show up at a school board meeting to complain about Mrs. Smith because she gave your kid detention.  Follow the chain of command...teacher, principal, superintendent.  The school board members have no more authority over that issue than the clerk at the Rutter's.  Okay...maybe just a little more authority than that clerk.

Present your complaint to someone who is not a member of your family and who will tell you honestly whether or not you sound like an asshole.  For example, "Hi, Mary, I value your opinion and I am thinking about going to the school board and telling them that teaching our kids acceptance is ruining the universe.  Do you wanna come?"  If Mary's reaction is to a) run from you screaming; b) to remind you that she has a restraining order against you or c) to give you a xanax and tell you to take a step back into reality than you probably shouldn't go.

Speaking out of turn.  Please don't holler random things from the back of the room.  This is a public meeting not a bar.  You don't get to scream a question from the last row of seats.  Get up.  Use the microphone and state your freakin' name.  If you don't have the balls to do that than sit down and be quiet.

The night of the vote is too late.  Please don't come to a voting meeting to tell the board you think their budget is a load of crap.  They have had 4200 meetings about the budget.  Those meetings have included qualified personnel, like accountants, business managers and other people who like numbers.  While they appreciate the fact that you don't "get how millage is calculated" they kindly request that you find out prior to coming to the meeting.  Perhaps all of the budget and finance meetings.

Try to remember not having *insert sport of your choice here* would not be the end of the world as we know it.  Imagine a school not having a football team, or a swim team, or a debate team, or a water polo team, or a curling team.  Now imagine a school failing in reading, math and science.  These  things are not equivalent.

You will not "die" if you're child has to play on grass and not turf on more year.  In fact, the likelihood of that happening is like getting struck by lightening in the snow in Florida.  Stop being so dramatic.  Everyone finds that annoying.

Complaints from former employees seem a little bias.  You're retired.  You should have lots of fun things to do.  Those things should not include coming to board meetings to complain about hiring processes, firing processes or snow removal.  In fact, I sort of feel a little sorry for you if that's all you have to do.

Stop following me to my car.  If you had something worthwhile to say, I would be following you to your car.  Make a note of that.

Ten years ago, I was living in Ohio.

Ten years ago, I was a stay-at-home mother of two daughters. One, almost 3 years old and the other barely eight months old.

Ten years ago, I wrote occassional articles for a parenting magazine about the challenges of multiples, the sleep patterns of infants, the difficulties of breastfeeding and the odds of gender selection.

Ten years ago, our house was much smaller but our yard was a little bigger.

Ten years ago, I had a different circle of friends. This core group now spans multiple states but we still try to keep in touch.

Ten years ago, I was learning about the joys of having a child in preschool.

Ten years ago, I was certain I would never catch up on my sleep.

Ten years ago, my day consisted of library story time, tons of laundry, carpools to preschool, playdates and sippy cups.

Ten years later and a lot has changed.

Our family has grown.

Our home is now in PA.

I no longer go to storytime but every now and again I get to read books like Lunch Bunnies to oh-so-cute kindergarteners.

The sippy cups are gone but the laundry has grown.

My oldest child will soon be thirteen, which continues to boggle my mind. She' on the far right in the picture above.

When we were expecting, my husband really wanted me to stay home after our baby arrived. I will be honest with you, I wasn't really excited about the idea. The thought of being alone all day long with an infant depending on me for her survival sounded terrifying. Little did I know that the infant part was the easy part.

We were 6 hours away from our closest family. My husband's mom stayed home throughout most of his childhood. My mom always worked. I don't remember her staying at home. I remember my grandmother caring for us until we were school aged.

I think if I would have actually liked my job, the decision may have been harder. I think if I had actually made enough money to justify childcare than perhaps I would have put up more of an argument, but alas I stopped working 4 days before I had my oldest.

The first month was ok. My hubby was off the first week. We were invaded by company and then they all left. Hubby went to work. Family returned home. Our infant seldom slept.

After about three months of complete isolation and lack of sleep I needed medication. Post pardom depression. My doctor also recommended a mother's group. I needed to get out and be with other mommies. I needed to stop the isolation.

Thirteen years later that mommy group spans multiple states. I still value the opinions of those women and there is little I wouldn't do for them.

During the decade I stayed home, I had my ups and I had my downs. What I came to understand is that it has to be your choice. I have friends who could not stay at home and that's okay. I have friends who still stay home and that's okay too.

I think we have to learn to respect each other enough to realize that this is a personal choice and can only be made by the person facing it.

Did you work or stay at home? Why?

Mama Kat challenged us to post some past Christmas pics.

I have to admit that I had a lot of fun looking back through some of my old scrapbooks.

This one is Big G and Middle G in 2001. It is Middle G's first Christmas.

Um...i think Santa needs to SUPPORT Little G's neck. I'm sure if he was my first child I would have bull rushed Santa. Since Little G was a third I actually paid for this photo.

What a difference a year makes. 2004 Little G went from helpless blob to smiling toddler.

2005. It looks like we may actually be at the North Pole in this picture.

Girls are happy and Little G looks like he's being kidnapped! Is it just me or does Santa look like an ass?

Awe....this is one of my favorites. 2007. Little G is 4, middle G is 6 and oldest is 8.

Everyone looks cute and I am pretty sure THAT is the real Santa.

Seems like I blinked and we went from the above to this.

I guess we're all still cute. Santa looks a little tired though.

This week I chose Prompt 2: Five Things. List 5 things we don’t know about you, 5 things you’re knowledgeable about, 5 things you know nothing about, and 5 things you believe. (inspired by LouLou’s Views)

5 things you don't know about me

I hate soup. ALL soup.
When I was young, my parents kept my hair very short and I was often mistaken for a boy.
I played catcher on an all boys baseball team for 4 years.
I currently own only three pair of shoes and a random set of flip flops.
Even though I have a dog, I like cats better (but NOT as much as her)

5 things I'm knowledgable about (other than my family)

football and baseball
Crafting with the cricut
Opening wine bottles
Writing
Preparing comercially manufactured food

5 things I know nothing about

Cooking
Changing a car tire
Guns
Llamas
5th grade math

5 things I believe

That Heaven and Hell are real
That if you need a friend it is good to be a friend.
That laughing everyday is important to your overall health.
That a glass of wine is good for the soul.
That all things happen for a reason and often that reason is not revealed.

It's time to compose a frequently asked questions list for the handful of you who read this blog.

Q. ARE YOU REALLY A LUNCHLADY?

A. Unfortunately, I really am. Sometimes I think back to when I was at an age when all things seemed possible and remember that I too thought I could be both a backup dancer for Paula Abdul and an eye doctor. Then I realized that I can't dance and they don't let people who suck at science and math become medical doctors. That being said, as a lunchlady, I have danced backup at many an iRoar assembly and I have been first on the scene when random eyelashes land in random eyes. So I guess you could say that I am sort of a backup dancer/eye doctor/lunchlady, which sounds kind of cool.

Q. DO YOU REALLY WRITE ABOUT SPEED HUMPS?

A. Again, an unfortunate truth. Along with touring with Paula, I had great plans for writing a book. Turns out that unless you sort of know someone who knows someone getting a book published ain't all that easy. The newspaper, however, seems to go through "stringers" like most people go through tissues. A stringer is a fancy term for someone who strings the story together. In other words, you write it, they edit it, you okay it and then, if you are lucky, it runs in the paper. Stringers freelance for the paper and are not staff. Instead of writing fiction, I get to write about things like speed humps, press boxes, driver's ed costs and superintendent raises. The topics might be a little unusual, but my name is in the byline. Published.

Q. ARE YOU REALLY THE SIZE OF AN AVERAGE 7th GRADER?

A. This is false. In fact, most 7th graders are significantly bigger than me. I am the size of an average 5th grader. I am 5'2 and sadly that is all the taller I am going to get. My grandma never broke 5 foot and managed just fine. Of course, height is one of the contributing factors in my failure as a back up dancer. That and the fact that I don't have any rythm.

Q. BECAUSE OF THE ABOVE, DO YOU NEED A BOOSTER SEAT TO DRIVE?

A. Technically, this is likely true, but since I meet the weight requirements it seems like overkill.

Q. DO YOU EXPECT A LOT OF PEOPLE TO READ AND COMMENT ON THIS POST?

A. Of course. Every day, I continue to expect Paula Abdul to call and offer me work. I expect that at any given moment I will be given an honorary doctorate for something--what I'm not sure. I expect that someday a library book will have my name on it next to written by. I expect, but am not hopeful that I will be taller than one of my children. I expect one of you to send me a booster seat as a joke and I expect all 5 of you to leave me some comment love.

Of course, I have been wrong in the past.

This post was brought to you by writing prompt genius Mama Kat whom I am certain has a lot more comment love than I do and I blame it all on the fact that she is significantly taller than me.

This week, mama kat challenged me to give some advice to new parents. Never wanting to pass up an opportunity to make a list, here is my advice.

Relax. This isn't gonna be easy. You will be sleep deprived. Your MIL will be telling you one thing and your mother will be telling you something else.

Babies cry. Some more than others. There isn't anything you can do about it. If you need to take five, you should,

Babies sleep. Some more than others. There is nothing you can do about it. Adding cereal to their diet..won't help. In fact, it might make it worse.

Do your best. What worked for your mom might not work for you. What worked for you might not work for me. All we can do is our best.

Enjoy it. Friends will promise you it will get easier, but I am here with the truth. Each age has different challenges but it also has really cool rewards. It is exhausting when the kids are newborns, but as they grow they reveal their unique personalities.

Oh don't get me wrong they will still exhaust you, but it will all be worth it.

Inspired by Mama Kat's genius

One jump in, try not to frown
Alone again, a boring town
Two of us, I wear the key
Around my neck, for all to see

Three and four unlock the door
No friends inside is a bore
Parents won't know what we do
Hours of fun without a clue

Best friends with boys across the way
Our parents split, no one could stay
Death took one of the boys from us
My heart still feels the painful crush

Divorce and distance take a toll
Five and six I am a fool
Missing family far away
No words can take the pain away

Seven eight my family grows
She has his eye, my little nose
I understand a mother's love
Hurt even more from what's above

Touch the ground, count up to ten
Still feel alone, need a friend
One jump out, try not to pout
Life is full of round about

Inspired by the genius of Mama Kat

only four more days to go

Inspired by the Queen of writing prompts Mama Kat

B and Me !

Mama Kat's post inspired me to share with you a few things that you should know about me should you ever decide to drop by.

• If you are coming to visit me to share some laughs and have some wine feel free to stop by; if you are coming to visit my house and are expecting it to be clean and in an orderly fashion then you should make an appointment.
• I do not eat red meat.  I do not like it, Sam I am and I will not eat it.  Not on a boat, not with a goat, I simply won't.
• I HATE wearing shoes.  When not at work, I never have socks or shoes on.  In the summer, I live barefoot. 
• My BFF (pictured above) will listen to me drone on and on forever about anything.  She will listen to me talk about all aspects of my life from laundry to my ineligibility to vote in the primary election due to my reluctance to select any major party.
• My sister is four years younger than me but most people don't suspect that.
• I love to make things for people.
• It hurts me deeply when people say stuff about me behind my back.  I much prefer the direct approach although I still find that to be just as painful.
• I like brussel sprouts, but find chocolate cake hard to swallow.
• Peanut butter cups are the bestest!
• If I consider you to be my friend, there is little, to nothing, that I won't do for you.