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Thursday, January 12, 2012

An open letter to the tooth fairy

Dear Toothfairy,

Let me be blunt...we are not friends. Now that this is out in the open, I feel as if I can again share with you some of your annoying qualities.

You are, by far, the most forgetful fairy I have never met. Have you heard of B12? It's supposed to help memory...oh wait...maybe it helps digestion. Either way, you should seek medical advice for your inability to ever remember to visit my children.

This isn't something new. We've been discussing this a lot and quite frankly I am tired of it.

Consider this my official grievance. I am requesting an official hearing.

Also part of the apparently give more money to wealthy children. Really? This seems a little bassakwards. How come some kids get $20 for a tooth. If that's the going rate, I have a few molars I could probably part with.

You need to knock this off...I might start a Facebook group. Down with the toothfairy...or the toothfairy plays favorites...or Dollars for Molars.

Let's set some price guides. $5 for a first tooth or a molar; $2-3 for anything else. Lord have mercy, if it has a cavity perhaps you could leave just a buck and maybe some toothpaste.

In conclusion, set more than one alarm and stop trying to overcompensate with large quantities of money. Afterall, you have never brought more than a $5 here and it's usually at least a day late.



6 random thoughts:

Wendy said...

Your posts make me smile! :) :)

Mitch Block said...

Five Dollars?!? Holy crap. I used to get a nickel. That guy (the Tooth Fairy) owes me big time.

Pat said...

Well, I guess that Tooth Fairy's getting long in the tooth, as they say! Ha ha! She can get forgetful! $5 for a tooth? Holy Cow! Glad my kids are grown!

Kenya G. Johnson said...

$20??!!! You have GOT to be kidding me. I thought our tooth fairy's $2 was too much consider the .50 I always found "late" or after my mom "helped" me look for it. WOW 20?!

Jenners said...

I would like to sign that letter. I have a neighbor whose children get $20 per tooth and I find that very very annoying.

septembermom said...

You're so clever. We do $2 a tooth.

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I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some meant some comments.
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