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Friday, January 13, 2012

Lessons from the lunchlady: stop acting like a jackass...penguin

This week was five long days of pure fanfreakintastic joy. If I had a sarcasm font, that first sentence would be written in all CAPS.

Here is what I learned....

I suck at math. Wait...I actually already knew this. I had a small (OK...large) mathematical error while in charge on Friday and managed to make enough pizza to serve the entire building.

Budgets can cause depression. The nutrition and maintenance staff had a budget meeting with our adminstration. Words like grave, bleak and dismal were repeated often. I left feeling deflated.

Retirement is a four letter word. It looks like my freakin awesome boss is gonna retire. I feel sad just thinking about it. Who's gonna run the kitchen? Keep in mind that I am most likely incompetent. Reread story about pizza.

Jackass (penguin) is not a cuss word. Aparently the jackass penguin was a topic of discussion regarding one of the countries we are learning about this month. It is important to keep in mind that one can only say Jackass if you are using it with the word penguin. This is especially important to remember on the school bus.

Walkins and breakdowns. I believe that the walk-in cooler is a great place to have a screaming kicking breakdown and I am considering offering this service to staff for a nominal fee. It is just one of my many out of the box ideas that has the potential to raise A LOT of money for the district.

Return breakdowns are double the charge.

What did you learn this week?




12 random thoughts:

Anonymous said...

Walkins are GREAT places for breakdowns. Confirmed.

~Wendy said...

This week I learned that the first acknowledgement you will receive that your letter of resignation has been received is a form letter telling you your life insurance policy will be terminated. Really? I thought I was such a freakin' awesome employee you would give me life insurance FOREVER...??? How many days can I take off with over 200 sick hours???

~Wendy said...

I learned that the first acknowledgement you will receive that your letter of resignation has been received will be a form letter saying you will lose your life insurance policy at the end of your employment. Really??? I thought I was such a freakin' awesome employee that I would have your life insurance coverage FOREVER!! ??? NOT...

Jenners said...

Oh dear. I must say that I thought that walk ins were for sneaking spoonfuls of pudding right out of the giant can. Guess that was just me. Hope you don't need the sarcasm font for next week.

Kristie Maynard said...

You learned some great stuff this week and with dismal and bleak in the budget, I think they should let you do that cooler fundraising. Just sayin'!
I learned just today that no matter how old you are, or how confused and ill you are, when you get a new hair cut, you feel sooooo much better. Hubby's Aunt is in the hospital then will be going to a nursing home. Every time she went past a mirror, she grimaced. I got someone in to cut her hair today and she is looking sooooooo much more herself and she feels so much better having a nice cut and looking pretty!

jesterqueen.com said...

Maybe you could offer a discount card. You know, "Ten breakdown punches on the card gets you one free?" I see instant moneymaker written all over this.

Also, how much can the district cut the food budget? It's not like you're serving up filet and shallots every day! I don't know that you have much room for less money.

Wendy said...

I learned that that I am getting too old to stay up till 3 in the morning and then get up at 8. Just saying! I learned that I can run into friends just about anywhere...funeral homes, sidewalks and parking lots.
I also learned I have an amazing friend who writes this amazing blog that makes me laugh every time I read it!

Mitch Block said...

I didn't learn a $@%^ this week that I haven't learned 30 times already without letting it sink in.

I need a walk-in... and an unlimited annual membership.

Randi said...

Loved your walk-in comment! I used to work in a restaurant and can't begin to tell you how many times I went into the walk-in to "cool off." Sorry to hear about your boss retiring--I went back and read your post about her. The people you work with can really make or break your day. Sounds like she provided you with lots of "makes."

Kim {Yep, they are all mine} said...

I think you're on to something with the walk-in.

Pat said...

I learned that there is such a thing as jackass penguins. Who knew?

septembermom said...

Jenners and I had the same thought about sneaking treats in a walkin. Love the cartoon.

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kisatrtle
I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
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