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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

LOST: What Kate did

After waiting a long week for a new episode of LOST, I'm disappointed to learn that this episode is going to contain and overdose of Kate.

Kate on the island fleeing.

Kate off the island fleeing.

Hey...a common thread.

So on the island Kate is all like "OMG is Sayid alive," and Sawyer is all like "Of course he is.  All kid killers and torturers deserve second chances.  Unlike, children grown women trapped in wells.  Why did she have to die?  It's all Jack's fault."

Of course it's Jack's fault.  Everything is Jack's fault.

So Mr. Miyagi comes back into the jacuzzi room and says "We need to take Sayid into my garden room for some "testing."

Jack says no way.  "His HMO doesn't cover any testing.  Tell us what is going on."

Miyagi says, "Don't make me kill you."

There is rustling and guns pulled and Sawyer says "Catch ya all later.  I'm mourning and I can't deal with any of this."

He tells Kate not to follow him so Kate immediate begins to think of how she can follow him.

Miyagi tortures the torturer.  Maybe Sayid is in hell after all.  He then makes a "pill" gives it to Jack and says "This is your friends day after being dead pill.  He must take it willingly."

Jack says how about I take it and we all cross our fingers that he falls down and dies but alas Miyagi knows karate and Jack's life is spared for the 1,700,876,543 time.

Jack demands to know what's in the pill and Miyagi says poison.  Jack says why do you want to poison Sayid and Miyagi says because he is infected and the same thing happened to your sister (i.e. Claire)  Jack makes that face he makes when it looks like he's trying to do long division in his head.

Meanwhile back in LA

Claire, who is being car-jacked by Kate, says just let me out and give me my bag.  Kate is all bad ass and says I'm not getting your luggage get out of the car beotch.  So she kicks out a hugely pregnant Kate, has eye sex with a car mechanic and he gratefully, no questioned asked, cuts off her handcuffs.

After routing through Claire's luggage, Kate feels bad because she has taken away not only Claire's things but her unborn child's clothes as well.  Having a change of heart she returns to pick up Claire who is still sitting there and lamenting her bad luck.

Claire says "You called me a beotch why should I go anywhere with you"  and Kate says "Because LA buses are always late and I have a stolen cab" and Claire says, "Okay great."

Kate drives her to the adoptive families home and the lady says "I sent you an email last week telling you my husband left me.  Didn't you get that?"

Claire gets upset and since she is on TV that puts her into labor.

Kate takes her in the stolen cab to the hospital introducing the creepiest moment of the night.

Dr. Ethan

OMG The thought of him being an OBGYN is going to give me nightmares.  Of course he is very good at it he doesn't even have to look down there and knows how dilated and effaced she is.

Claire says "I'm not ready to have Aaron."

Kate sings "Let me hold your hand."

Dr. Ethan says, "All we need is a campfire."

Later on police show up looking for Kate and Claire provides her with an alibi and gives her a credit card.  It is a tender moment when Kate says, "I know I've only known you for a few hours but given all we have done in those few hours I think I know you well enough to say you oughta keepa your baby, you oughta keep that baby."

Back on the island:

Kate is searching for Sawyer with two extras and Jin.  She incapacitates the extras and screams at Jin.  Jin says,"Do you ever think of anyone other than yourself."

Kate says "No" and leaves him in the forest to die.  She later finds Sawyer who is reliving happier moments and who is about to throw a dharma diamond out to sea.  "I was going to propose.  I went to Jared."

Meanwhile Jin is being accosted by the two inept extras already pissed at how they were treated by Kate when suddenly they are shot from someone off screen. 

Is it Kate?

Kind of.

It's Kate Gosselin wearing hair extensions Claire, suffering from the infection!

Did you do a recap?  Leave me a link.  I'd love to read it.

5 random thoughts:

Becca said...

Hahaha that is too funny! I made the mistake of checking twitter before we watched it!

Steven Anthony said...

OMG! I love this, I dont even have to watch my dvr, you do such a great it;)

Sarah Eliza @ devastateboredom said...

ROFL Let me reiterate... you're AWESOME.

Going back to edit in a link to your post on mine. :D

longbrakeliving said...

Too, too funny, especially the Kate Gosslin part! Best recap I've read so far.

septembermom said...

Now I think I finally have to watch "Lost". I better start watching. Thanks!

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I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some meant some comments.
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