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Monday, October 31, 2011

An open letter to mother nature

Dear Mother Nature,

I don't like to beat around the bush so let me be blunt. I HATE YOU.

What have we done to you that has your tights in a wad? So far this year we have had record heat, an earthquake, flash flooding and now snow BEFORE Halloween.

I am not impressed.

Are you out to prove a point? Do you have an ax to grind? What is the purpose of all of this?

Let's be serious, pumpkins look stupid in the snow. They are meant to be surrounded by fall colors and hay bails. Not snow.

There is a reason Frosty wasn't a witch. Because witches made out of snow are STUPID. They aren't scarey. What's scarey is my heating bill...what's scarey is the fact that none of my kids have boots that fit.

This is my favorite tree and yet you tried to debranch it. Why? What has it ever done to you?

What about these?

What did they do to deserve this fate?

There is a reason that the leaves fall before the snow. The snow is just too heavy!

I think you and I need to come to some sort of amiable agreement.

Here's my proposal. You can have one snow storm per month in November, december, January and February. Come groundhog day that stupid little rodent better not see his shadow.

In return, I promise to publicly humiliate anyone I see liter, will recycle every recylable in my house including the toliet paper rolls, and will never call you a bitch on my blog again.

These are the terms. You have until the 15th to respond.


~Kisa~ (my ass)

7 random thoughts:

Pat said...

I'm sure Mother Nature is saluting you and saying "Yes, M'am!"

Snort! Yeah, right. Good luck with that!

Cath @ Constance Reader said...

Too funny! I have to admit I was overjoyed to see the snow as I am a snow lover...but yeah, it did look really weird to see icicles hanging from maple trees all ablaze.

Love the witchy snowman!

TortugaRachel said...

oh if only it worked that way...

kt moxie said...

I LOVE that you gave mother nature a deadline.

Jenners said...

Oh great … now I'm sure we'll get with tornados and hailstones because of this!!! Sweeten her up! Your wrap-up ( ass) was the icing on the cake!

Kristie Maynard said...

I think you were pretty fair with her! I wouldn't have said a snowstorm each month. I would have gone for one for the season and some light snow the rest of the time. But all in all, I think it's a pretty good deal.
We had an "October Surprise" storm a few years ago here in Western NY and it was a mess! The snow and trees with leaves just don't get along well. There were people who lost power for well over a week. We were pretty lucky and I think it was 5 days for us.

becca said...

way way WAY to cold for me

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I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some meant some comments.
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