Dear Big G,

How can you be starting 4th grade? Didn't I just take you to preschool yesterday? When did you turn into a "tween"? Why are we always at odds? What happened to the little girl that held my hand and said, "I'm sure going to miss you, mommy. Don't have any fun without me."

Now you are off to intermediate school. You'll truly be on your own. You will ride a different bus than the one that takes your sister to elementary school. You will be the youngest, surrounded by 5th and 6th graders.

Those quirky songs played on the other bus will be replaced by ipods and swear words. You will change even more this year and I'm not sure I'm ready for that.

But trying to keep you little is like holding onto sand. Soon it runs through your fingers and tries to catch onto the wind.

I'm excited for you to take on this new adventure, but part of me is sad.

Sad that I can't be there, if no one wants to sit with you.

Sad that I can't help you figure out what to do in that huge cafeteria.

Sad that you will have much fun without me.

I'm excited that you will likely make new friends this year and will cross my fingers that they will treat you the way you deserve to be treated because over the next few years you will value their opinion more than you value mine.

As I look at you, I can't help but remember the baby who looked at me with big bright eyes and prefered no one but me.

Where did she go?

Do you know how much I love you?

Good luck in 4th grade. I'll be here when you get home.


Mom (formerly known as mommy)