This week's episode will center around Fake Locke (Flocke) on the island and poor pathetic John off the island.  Terry O'Quinn is a fantastic actor and has me totally convinced that these two people aren't actually played by the same person.

Poor pathetic John is pulling into his driveway and can't get his vehicle ramp to cooperate and kind of flings his crippled self out of the van and into the yard which results in his becoming a limp rag on the grass being pummeled by the sprinkler.

Just went you thought all hope was lost Peg Bundy comes out the front door to rescue him.

He calls her Helen at least six times in the first five minutes so that we can all be reminded of who the hell she is.  Oh yeah....I remember her.

She's the lady he met at that anger management class.
She wanted him to stop obsessing over his jackass of a father.
She left him when he wouldn't.

Hold up didn't John visit her grave?  I'm so confused.

On the island, Flocke is all "You people have disappointed me.  I'm taking Richard for a walk.  We need to go recruiting some backgammon players."  He storms off the beach and suddenly we are treated to an IMAX movie...which, quite frankly, I'm not a big fan of.

Flocke give Richard one more chance to join him.  For dinner? For world domination?  For and eyebrow wax?  We aren't sure.

Richard politely declines and looks like he is about to meet his death when suddenly Flocke is distracted by that creepy boy from "Children of the Corn".

Say what?



Soon Flocke stumbles upon our grieving cowboy Sawyer and says "Come with me, James and I will teach you how to be fishers of men." 

Oh wait that is a different story all together...or is it?

After a few shots of whiskey, Sawyer says "Okay, what the hell."

Then they both stumble upon the corn boy.

Flocke takes after him and Sawyer hollers, "You have fun with that I've had too much rum to run."

Back in LA:

John's boss, Randy, gets all Donald Trump on him and fires him and we all hope that John will jump out of his chair and run him through with a knife but then we remember that Oceanic Airways is incompetent and lost his luggage.

Leaving in dismay, John comes to find out that he can't get into his car because some dumbass parked too close to him and his ramp won't come down.

That dumbass?



Hugo.  He apologize to John for his obnoxiously large mutton chops and says "I keep forgetting it's not the 70s anymore"  Hugo tells him that he owns the company and that Randy is a douchbag and that John should contact this number and "chin up."

Back on the island:  Flocke comes back from hunting children empty handed and leads Sawyer deeper into the woods.  Sawyer continues to follow him despite a desperate pleading from Richard not to.

"Look here, Dick.  I'll follow whoever I want to follow."

Sawyer tells Flocke the story of Mice and Men and then pulls a gun on him.  Flocke says "I already told you that I'm dead, James.  Shoot me if you must but I'm about to tell you everything."

Liar, liar, pants on fire!

Back at the big foot on the beach:

Ilana mourns her friends for 30 seconds and then says "Let's go to the temple."

Sun say, "Yeah, right.  The last person I followed turned out to be a Flocke and now you want me to follow you."

Ilana says, "If Jin is on this island he will be there."

Sun says, "It has been years since I've seen Jin but first we must bury Locke.  Screw all your dead friends inside the foot."

Ilana, Sun, Ben Linus and LePenis the pilot bury John Locke.

Ben's eulogy goes something like this.  "Roses are red, violets are blue.  I am very sorry that I killed you."

LePenis says "This is the weirdest damn funeral I've ever been too."

Back in LA:  John is applying for another job and who is coming to his aid?  Rose!



John's all "I want to do construction."
And Rose is all "Be serious, man, you are in a wheelchair."
And John's all, "you are prejudice."
And Rose is all, "I'm dying from stage four cancer because I never landed on the island."

She gets John a job as a teacher.


With Ben. 

Who apparently knows nothing about fashion but a lot about European history.

Back on the island:

Flocke nearly kills Sawyer with a mountain climb but in the end reveals a scale with the balance of good and evil represented by a white rock and a black rock.  He pitches the white rock out to sea and shows Sawyer the writing on the wall.  Literally.

Names and numbers.  Some crossed out and some not.

Flocke says "You can do nothing, you can stay and protect the island, or you can leave."

Sawyer says, "Let's catch the next sea serpent out of here."

My head and heart is still pounding from this fabulous season finale. However, I can't believe that I will likely have to wait until January (dare I say it) to find out what happens next.

Jacob is finally revealed to us and let me first say this "Damn, he is FINE". Second, what is up with him 1.) no aging 2.) visiting pretty much all of our major characters including Sayid, Kate, Sawyer, Sayid, John, Jin, Sun, Jack and Hurley? Is he Destiny? Is he Fate? Will you ever look at an interaction with a stranger the same way again?

Also, this would be a fine time to mention that our wonder bad boy Sawyer was even cute as a kid. LOL

Raise your hand if you were leaping out of your seat when Juliet was the one to layout the submarine guard. I mean WTF. If I were her I would have downed that sleeping potion and prayed Prince Charming would have woke me up on the other side.

I've been looking and looking for Rose and Bernard since season five began and let me just tell you their return could not have been sweeter. I love their love story, their faith, their journey. I just love everything about them. And given the choice, I would have stayed for tea.

Best line of the night:

Sawyer: "Didn't you hear me tell you to go to the beach?"

Bernard: "You mean while our friends were dying and flaming arrows were flying all around us? No, we missed that."

Sexy Sayid is shot. Say it isn't so! The scene when Nadia was hit by the car was completely heart wrenching. Hard to watch.

I loved the five minute talk between Jack and Sawyer. I just didn't want it to end. Ms. Flip-flop arrived and flopped her previous flipped position and told Sawyer we need to let Jack do this. Why Juliet? Why? Because she knows Sawyer still loves Kate? But if the plane never crashes you are still stuck on the island back in Dharmaville? Is that really better than a broken heart?

30 years in the future we learn that Jacob has also visit Alana. Why was her face all bandage up? We don't know? what is her mission? Other than finding what lies in the shadow of the statue we haven't a clue?

What language was the response to that question given by Richard? Any translation out there?

How is the stranger in the beginning on the island with Jacob now John Locke? Is Locke really dead? Is that really him in that trunk Alana and her friends have been toting around?

Is Jacob really dead? What will happen now?

Why didn't the bomb go off when Jack dropped it? Is Miles right? Are they causing "The Incident" that resulted in the need to push the life saving button to begin with?

Watching Sawyer trying to hold on to Juliet was nearly as heartbreaking as watching Sun scream for Jin.

Now that Juliet successfully exploded the hydrogen bomb, how will the new season open?

Six months is two long to wait!

If your blogging about LOST, please leave a link in the comment section!

How many of you fellow Losties, nearly dropped your wine glass when the screen flashed from dear Sun and Lapidus to our other island dwellers and said 30 years earlier! I thought I saw that wrong but then...this is LOST after all.

The other big revelation of the evening....the baby's is ETHAN OMG! I did not see that coming.

Clever how Sawyer/Jim/LeFluer got Hurley, Jack and Kate on the list; ironic how they new recruits arrived the same day as those three.

What will happen with Sayid? Has he figured out things aren't what they appear...has he figured out that it is 1977? Has he figured out that sweet, big glasses wearin' boy is THE Ben.

Even though I'm not a big fan of Sawyer and Juliet, I felt bad for her when she had to save Kate's ass during recruitment check in. How easy it would have been to leave her name off of the list and let her fend for herself. Part of me was hoping she would.

Full circle: Back to Sun and Lapidus on the beach. I couldn't get enough of her crackin' that oar over Ben's head. That was by far the best scene of the night. Again we are graced with a Christian Shepard cameo; he tells Sun that Jin is in 1977 and that she "has quite a journey on her hands."

Does this journey involve a donkey wheel....because I don't think I can handle another one of those.

Like usual, LOST was hurting my brain last night.

I didn't count, but I'm pretty sure we jumped forward three years, back three years and forward three year all within the first 10 minutes.  Was that really necessary?

Juliet and Sawyer?  This is harder for me to get my head around than the time travel.  Personally, it would be easier for me to believe she was banging Daniel.

And who is that baby?  I know someone out there knows and has this entire thing figured out, but I'm getting a nose bleed trying just thinking about it.

The last time I remember seeing Horace, he was in the jungle telling John how to find Jacob;  I think he was cutting down a tree repeatedly and he told John he had been dead for 12 years. 

Also, Horace and his wife were the unlucky couple flagged down by the Linuses after giving birth in the woods.  Basically, other than immediate family, Horace was the first person to see baby Ben alive and drove his dying mother to the hospital.

Who knew he be back with even more speaking parts.

Did you notice not one of my questions from yesterday's post were answered?  If anything I have even more questions.  Anyone wondering where Rose and Bernard and the rest of the original plane crash memebers are now?  Are they part of Richard's group?  I hope not!

Will Daniel warn Charolette like she remembers him doing or will he try to change history?  Isn't he the one always preaching that if it happened it will happen.

Is everyone on the island now in the 1970s?  What about Locke and the new crew?

Where is Sun!  How do a bunch of Dharma ninnies capture Sayid (as indicated by the previews)?

Most importantly. Why. Do. I. Have. To. Wait. Two. Weeks. for. The. Next. Episode?  I'm boycotting whatever ABC puts in that time slot.

• Is that tease in the previews when *sigh* Sawyer looks up and sees Kate the end of the show or the beginning?
• What does Jin say to Hurley, Jack and Kate when he finds them floating in that lagoon? 
• When are they?
• What happened to Sun and Sayid?  Will she find Jin?
• Are the new arrivals going to win over my affection or just continue to annoy me?
• Will my husband make as much noise as possible while this show is on?  ie: unload/load and turn on the dishwasher; get the dog all worked up so I can't hear over all the barking?

Your task is neverending with my family of five
Today I have the flu and barely feel alive
Like our friend the tooth fairy
Could you please spare, Laundry Larry?

If he could stop by and do a load or two
My day would surely brighten a degree or two
If he looked like Sawyer, LOST I would no longer be
Perhaps he could sit in the sand and read to me.

Oh, laundry Gods, if you were real
I'd also ask you to make my family a meal.
But alas this fantasy, is not truly meant to be
for when I feel better loads will be waiting there for me.


This was part of Mama Kat's writer's assigment.  A link to her blog is off to the left.