As you know, I went for my first mammogram in August and it was an interesting experience.  When I say interesting I mostly mean ridiculous.

I mean there were nipple stickers.

There were cold metal plates.

There were strangers touching my breast. 

A few days later they called me back.

"You need a diagnostic mammogram," they said.

"Um, what did I just have?" I asked.

"You had a baseline mammogram and you need a diagnostic mammogram on your right breast."

"What's wrong with my white breast?"

"We aren't certain.  That's why you need a diagnostic mammogram."

So I scheduled a diagnostic mammogram, which went something like this.  Enter the women's only medical center.  Put on the same green shirt that everyone else is wearing.  Get new nipple stickers.  Have your right breast manipulated in multiple ways.  Sit down with radiologist in a room surrounded by pictures of your breast.  Have him say things like. "While there are white spots here, here and here we aren't sure how long you have had them.  Therefore I can't say with any certain one way or another if these are just benign calcium deposits.  You will have to come back for another scan in six months."

AYFKM?

Your response is "I don't know."  Isn't that why I came in for a diagnostic mammogram?  Couldn't we have just waited six months from the first one?

Anyway, I bet you can guess where this is going.  How many mammograms are you allowed to have in one year?  Holler out the answer? 

ONE.

Only one.  Even if they find something "questionable" on the first.  Anything else is considered medical and if you have any type of deductible on your insurance then you are responsible for those costs. 

AYFKM?

My bill was $305.75 but thankfully my insurance kick in $33.63.  Phew.  That's a real relief.

AYFKM?

After multiple phone calls it looks like I am SOL on this bill and likely SOL on the bill I will incur in February when I go back again.  Just in case there are any insurance companies reading this I just want to pose one question to them.  What is more expensive preventive care or medical treatment?

I plan on sending $33.63 a month with AYFKM written in the memo line until it is paid in full.  If they insurance company can pay that much than it seems like a reasonable monthly payment to me.