Dear Mammogram,

I have been warned about you by many a family member and a friend.  I have been told about your painful nature and tendency to, shall we say, "leave a mark".

All of these thoughts were running through my mind as I went for my first mammogram yesterday.  I wonder if it's really as bad as everyone says it is, I asked myself.

After a short wait I was escorted back to a small locker room/waiting room.  The tech told me to undress from the waist up and provided me with a...wait for it....cape.  Sweet!  I like feeling like a superhero.

After adorning my cape, I was escorted to another room.  This was the room with the vice like contraption I had heard so much about.

My question, mammogram, is this.  Why do so many women have so many negative things to say about you but fail to mention your evil Nemesis the nipple sticker?

I can probably list more than ten terrible things I have heard about you but not one of them includes the nipple sticker.  The tiny sticker with the metal ball attached that "helps the x-ray techs to see my nipple better".

There is a gross injustice going on here.  While I found you to be moderately uncomfortable and slightly absurd, the discomfort was nothing compared to the removal of the nipple sticker.  I simply couldn't decide if a quick rip was better than a slow pull.  I simply felt ridiculous and after I finally got the first one off, I considered leaving the second one in place.

In conclusion, I feel like you are being grossly misrepresented and that while you are clearly not as fun as a good teeth cleaning, you are no more unpleasant than a throat culture.

That nipple sticker, though, she clearly needs to go.

Sincerely,

~kisa~