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Tuesday, March 6, 2012

How the Lorax is helping me take less Xanax

My kids have been driving me crazy.  I'm not talking about the normal pick-up-your-clothes and stop-making-that-face-at-your-sister crazy, I'm talking about the slamming doors yelling I hate you kind of crazy.  The kind of rudeness that hangs over you like a Harry Potter dementor--sucking all the joy out of the air.

They are rude to each other, to their friends and to their parents.

They have to be told multiple times to do EVERYTHING!

Brush your teeth.

Get your PJs.

Stop touching each other.

Stop yelling at each other.

They have all taking on an attitude of It's MY way or no way.  Playing games with them is torturous.  Trying to get them to practice musical instruments make me want to cry.  I feel like they are tag teaming me.  They out number me and with daddy traveling more often than not I am at my wits end. 


Even the dog is giving me a look.

Hence my wonderful plan.  My gloriously, wonderful, beautiful plan!

Compliments.  Kindness.  Dinner at the table.

If you speak kindly you get a point.  If you are caught being nice you get a point.  If you are rude, you lose a point.  If you mock someone or speak rudely to anyone you loose a point.  The idea is that once we reach a certain number of points we will all go see the Lorax as a family.

Hopefully a much more civil and less obnoxious family. 

11 random thoughts:

Wendy said...

Please know that you are the not only parent who is having the same conversations! A certain someone told me tonight that I make them do EVERYTHING...insert eye roll here...! After I kindly (insert laugh here) reminded that certain someone that I/we pay for church camp, music camp, camp retreats, soccer and the equipment need to play, drive to chorus,etc certain someone sulked away and picked up the dirty clothes laying on their floor!

I do though love your idea of earning points to pay for the movie! Good luck and let us know how it works out! Hugs to you my dear friend! :)

Moving with Mitchell said...

This sounds to me like a great plan. Wishing you success!

DeepBlue said...

I couldn't help but laugh while reading your post. It reminded me so many times when my Big Sister dropped by our place and would just go on and on about her kids... Our parents would not grant us anything if we didn't behave: no toys, no eating out, no going to the movies, etc...

My fathers had a way to make me know that he was paying for all the things that I had. But I was a willfull kid. I stopped wanting anything. I decided to quit judo classes which made my dad angry. Then I stopped the piano lessons. Made him angry again: after all, he had paid 1500$ for that piano... "Well, sell it back" I said. (I was only 12 yo.) Well, he didn't sell it in the end.

From then on, I NEVER NEVER asked ANYTHING to my parents so they wouldn't rub it in my face. I did the best I could in school. Period!

I hope you don't feel too bad and inadequate in all this. You know that you're not alone and that ALL mothers go through what you're going through. It is sad to say, but today, the weight of raising kids is still all on a mother's shoulders. The husbands are, whether working a lot, or simply sitting in front of the tv watching the football game!!!.

Today, Big Sis is 50 yo. Her kids are all grown up. And no, they still don't pick up their clothes. My niece is not the great violonist my sister though she would be and my nephew is not the great mangaka he was predestine to be. But they are happy kids. They both dropped out of college. They have a little job and they are happy. They are just following their own journey in life and Big Sis is now OK about all this.

"Hey, she says, they don't do drug, they don't drink, they don't want to get too active on the romantic level (therefore they stay out of the problems of the whole sex thing), they may spend too much time on Facebook but at least there're home and not wasting their time in bars and clubs getting stuff in all kinds of ways.... And all the screeming and yelling I did, didn't pay off the way I wanted but in the end, it's all good."

So hang in there, in 10 years from now, you'll look at 2012 and you'll smile.

Pat said...

It sounds like a good plan...keep us posted if it works or not! My son just spent 11 days with us - he's 32 1/2, and let me tell you, he STILL rolled his eyes at me a few times. I guess they are never TOO old to do that!

Kristie Maynard said...

I think that sounds like a great plan. Sometimes we just have to step back and figure out what they want and then find a way to make it work for us. When my kids were little I had a point system that I used with them. There are a lot of things that can be used for rewards. Sounds like you have come up with a good one.

Cap'n Salty said...

Man I wish that worked in my house. Did you see today's post on my blog? Yeah, you're definitely not alone hon.

Jenners said...

Sounds like a great plan! I hope they want to see The Lorax really bad!!

And my puppy Romeo growls at the Lorax whenever he sees a commercial for the movie on TV. It is hilarious! He HATES the Lorax!

Becca said...

Oh geez! Are you telling me that I will still be saying these same friggen things YEARS from now?! Not cool.

Debra Gray-Elliott said...

Stopping by from WOE. I love this post. I have a 8 year old I plan to try this on.

Anonymous said...

I certainly hope that your plan works! While I am not a parent, I spent the weekend supervising a host of loud, obnoxious teenagers with a similar attitude. It takes a lot of self-control to prevent yourself from screaming at them to shut up and get over themselves.

Good luck!

septembermom said...

Earning points is a great idea. I have to steal that one.

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I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some meant some comments.
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