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Monday, March 5, 2012

Once Upon A Time: Dreamy



Don't get mad at me, but I really didn't like this episode much. It was kind of lame. Don't get me wrong, it had a little bit of useful information but most of it was, in my opinion, surface fluff.

STORYBROOK

We open at the only dinner in town were Leroy/Grumpy is enjoying his eggs until Sneezey sprays a sneeze full of staph on them.  Suddenly everyone looses their appetite.

Out of nowhere Mary Margaret/Snow decides to make an announcement about something called Miner's Day.  It is a celebration of when the nuns used to make and sell candles to the miner's in trade for coal.  Really???  This is....really???

Since everyone in Storybrook is free of sin and they all consider Mary Margaret a slut, no one wants to sell candles to help the nuns because they will be associated with Mary Margaret.  What?  That doesn't even make sense.  The nuns are okay with the adulterer, but the rest of the town isn't?

Let me get this straight.  Mary Margaret is a slut and a tramp and she never even slept with David.  What are they calling David?  Oh...that's right.  They are just calling him David.  Except for Sydney/Mirror Mirror and Regina/EQ who are faking his phone records and calling him murderer.

Remind me never to visit this sinless town.

Leroy decides that he will help sell candles after meeting Astrid, who happens to be one of the prettiest nuns I have ever seen.  I went to CCD and Catholic church as a child and I never saw a nun that was even half as pretty as Astrid.

Leroy is in love.  He tries to sell the candles but apparently if you buy candles to support the nuns from a drunk and a whore you catch something.  Seriously?  Not a believable plot line!

Astrid tells Leroy that "You can do anything as long as you can dream it."  He tells her that he wants to take a boat trip around the world.  Soon he finds out that Astrid isn't the smartest nun at the convict and she ordered 12 doz helium tanks instead of 12 and apparently they are non-refundable.  I say it's time for a new helium supplier.

Leroy tells Astrid he sold all of the candles.  No need to worry.  Apparently these are seriously expensive candles because Mary Margaret about falls out when she realizes what Leroy has done.  "That's $5,000, Leroy.  We don't have that." 

Leroy gets a great idea.  I will sell my boat to Mr. Gold and make the money for Astrid.  Seriously.  You've known the woman for about 10 minutes and you are going to sell your dream so you can help her pay for a lot of helium?  Again.  Not a believable storyline.

Gold thinks the nuns need to leave.  He's not interested in the boat.  Astrid stops by with a pie and sees all the candles on the boat.  She is a nun and she is disappointed that Leroy is a liar.  She encourages everyone to paint his boat with the words liar.  Oh no, wait.  We only paint Mary Margaret's car.

Leroy and Mary Margaret decided to have a pity party for each other.  He will never have his moment with Astrid.  She is a home wrecker?  Seriously?  David was in a coma for how long?  How long has he been awake let alone with Kathryn....sorry I keep digressing.

Leroy tells Mary Margaret to shut up and enjoy the memories.  Memories he was never given an opportunity to make with Astrid.  Just when it looks like Leroy is going to kill himself, he cuts all the electric to the entire town and manages to sell all $5,000 worth of candles.

Astrid is impressed.  They agree to go boating sometime.  Awwwweeee.

Meanwhile, like she does every week Regina threatens to fire Emma if she doesn't find out what happened to her friend Kathryn.  I'm shocked that Regina has friends and I didn't think she could fire Emma, just squeeze her heart.

Although Emma has known the entire episode that David supposedly talked to Kathryn 20 minutes before she disappeared, she waits until he is at the Miner's Day celebration in front of the entire town to ask him to come to the station.

Mary Margaret is so sad to see her beloved in the back of a cop car...I started singing bad boys, bad boys...watcha gonna do???

IN FAIRYTALE LAND

This part of the story was even more unbelievable.  Grumpy hatches from an egg sprinkled with pixie dust dropped by a an incompetent fairy named Nova/Astrid.  Oh my.  Gives a whole new meaning to HIGH ho...

After hatching, Grumpy is cleaned up and handed an ax.  The ax magically gives you a name.  His name...Dreamy.  He meets up with Nova when she is attempting to fill a sack of diamond dust.  She is a DID (damsel in distress) and I'm not a big fan of that.

Grumpy, of course, saves her and she invites him to see fire flies with her that evening.  She isn't happy with her lot in life.  She wants more.  She wants to be a fairy godmother.  She wants her wings.  She wants to see the world.

After learning that he's in love from, who else, Belle, who for some reason is in a dive bar alone, he heads off to the fields to see the fire flies with Nova.  They come up with a grand scheme.  They will buy a boat and sale around the  world...tomorrow.

Really?  Tomorrow.

Once Grumpy returns to the mine, he is greeted by the blue fairy, who quite frankly freaks me out a little bit.  She is one big fairy and I can't figure out if she is a good guy or a bad guy.  She tells Grumpy that if he runs away with Nova she will never get her wings, she will never be a real boy...no wait that's a different story.

She will never be a fairy godmother, granting all the wishes of others but never living her own dreams. Wait...wait...I'm paraphrasing.

Grumpy tells Nova he cannot go with her.  She is heartbroken.  He returns to the mines and begins to take his frustration out on the diamond walls.  His ax breaks.  When he is given a new one, his name changes to Grumpy. 

Next week:  Red Riding Hood's back story featuring Granny and Snow and apparently one hell of a wolf.  Maybe the wolf will be named August...or maybe not.

2 random thoughts:

becca said...

i was more interested in what rumple had against the nuns and also if emma is so good at telling who is lying and who's not why doesn't she get sidney is lying to her.

septembermom said...

You get me hooked on each review.

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kisatrtle
I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
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