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Wednesday, December 8, 2010

An open letter to Max, our elf on the shelf

Dear Max,

Are you not feeling well?  Have you forgotten your purpose?

You are supposed to relocate every night.  You are supposed to be in a new spot every  morning.  You spy on my family and you report back to Santa.  This isn't a hard job.

Why have you been failing at your only job?

The book clearly says that your moving about will become a wonderful family tradition. 

My kids are convinced you are dead. 

Does that sound like a fun family tradition?

Even though we have set the alarms on our phones to "remind" you to move, you still forget to relocate more often than I care to mention.

All I can say is come on man!  Enough is enough.

Get your red-tight-wearing-tiny-little-ass to a new spot tomorrow or else!  I'm gonna contact your boss, you know the big fat jolly guy, and demand a new elf.

Preferably one that isn't dead!

8 random thoughts:

Anonymous said...

dead elfs, oh

cheers my friend

Crystal aka Caitlynsmommy said...

hahahah oh my gosh! We started this this year with DD and so far so good, but she goes to sleep at 7 so we just move him then!

Kristie Maynard said...

I had never heard of the elf on the shelf until last year. What a cute idea.
You are too funny!

septembermom said...

LOL. I needed this tonight.

Jenners said...

Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like a dead and decomposing elf in the house! : )

Scattered Scrapper said...

Holding my stomach laughing! Mine is 14, so no Elf on the Shelf here...however, I can't tell you how many times the "tooth fairy" fell asleep before depositing cash under my DD pillow. You just can't find good elves these days can you?

Becca said...

BAHAHA!! Someone else posted about how they keep forgetting to move him each morning and the father actually did tell the kids he must have died?!! HA!

Gina said...

It must be going around, because our elf Mr. Christmas hasn't moved either. Stupid elves.

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I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some meant some comments.
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