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Wednesday, December 8, 2010
7:40 PM | | Edit Post
Are you not feeling well? Have you forgotten your purpose?
You are supposed to relocate every night. You are supposed to be in a new spot every morning. You spy on my family and you report back to Santa. This isn't a hard job.
Why have you been failing at your only job?
The book clearly says that your moving about will become a wonderful family tradition.
My kids are convinced you are dead.
Does that sound like a fun family tradition?
Even though we have set the alarms on our phones to "remind" you to move, you still forget to relocate more often than I care to mention.
All I can say is come on man! Enough is enough.
Get your red-tight-wearing-tiny-little-ass to a new spot tomorrow or else! I'm gonna contact your boss, you know the big fat jolly guy, and demand a new elf.
Preferably one that isn't dead!
- I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.