My Fan Club

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Alexander and the wind up mouse and why I would rather read just about anything else

I am proabably going to piss some people off with this post as I have come to realize that Alexander and Willy have a LARGE fan club. After all, it is a Caldecott Honor Book. What's not to like?

If you have never had the pleasure of reading this grand adventure let me fill you in.

Alexander is a real a mouse and because he doesn't live with us where he would be given lemon cookies and freedom he is treated like a...mouse.

He is chased and shooed and treated like a rodent. Oh how sad (<- sarcasm).

Lucky for Alexander he finds a friend --willy-- a wind up mouse toy that looks just like and is treated like royalty.

Alexander tells Willy how terrible his life is.

Willy tells Alexander how great his life is even though he has a giant peg sticking out of his back and he can't move unless someone winds him.

Alexander wants to be just like Willy.

Willy tells him about the rainbow lizard that lives in the garden and grants wishes. Seriously? Seriously?

First of all how does Willy know about the lizard. Has he ever been to the garden? The worst part about this page...the language.

"Lizard, lizard," he whispered. and suddenly there stood before him, full of the colors of flowers and butterflies, a large lizard. "Is it true you can change me into a wind up mouse?"

"When the moon is round," said the lizard, "bring me a purple pebble." that a yes or a no? And why does it have to be purple. Does that somehow go along with our rainbow theme. Poor Tinky-winky the teletubby was less gay than this lizard and he took a lot more smack.

And looking at the picture I would hardly call that a large lizard...

Alexander searches for days for a purple pebble without luck. He goes back to the house to tell Willy that he is never going to be a wind up mouse only to find Willy tossed out in the used toys box.

He has been replaced by electronics.

Both mice are sad.

As fate would have it lying right there beside the box was a purple pebble.

So Alexander returns to the lizard to tell him to make him in to garbage just like his friend. Chanting (not joking) "Lizard, lizard, in the bush.". Sounds like the start of a really tacky joke...doesn't it.

Just as Alexander is about to begin to adjust to life with a winder sticking out of his back he changes his wish and asks the lizard to make Willy real.

Okay...I don't know about you but wishes are kind of personal. I don't want other people making them for me. Maybe Willy doesn't want to feel hunger. Maybe Willy doesn't want to get hit with brooms or caught in traps. He never once said otherwise.

Alexander returns to the house to find Willy no longer in the trash but making himself at home in his house.

They hug and dance and sing praises to the lizard.

By the time my son is done reading this I want to stick a needle in my eye.

Do you have any children's books that just rub you the wrong way?

5 random thoughts:

Kristie Maynard said...

I don't know about books, but I really hate that song about There was an old woman who swallowed a fly, I don't know why she swallowed a fly, perhaps she'll die. Why would anyone think that is a good song to sing to a child. Perhaps, she'll die? Really?!?1

Jenners said...

Yes I did … Love You Forever by Robert Munsch. It is one of my most visited posts, ironically. I suspect you may find that happening too!

Mitch Block said...

Well, if this is as awful as you make it sound, I hate it too! And I AM going to take your word for it.

But, adding to Kristie's comment: When I was a kid, I DID love "I Know an Old Woman Who Swallowed a Fly." Actually, I still do. Should I be concerned?

Pat said...

I've been out of the loop for awhile so I can't remember too many books! I DID like that book that "Jenners" commented about, yet my daughter absolutely hated it. Thought it was downright creepy!

Anonymous said...

This is an awesome book; your synopsis is simple and shows your lack of understanding - if you didn't like it why all the page by page scans and writing? well, it doesn't matter, time like a river, smooths all pebbles and accepts all kinds of obstacles - hope you are well and riding your own wave today!

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I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some meant some comments.
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