Tonight's episode centers around the two stupidest kids ever written about and that's saying a lot...I mean I've read the Twilight series.

In Fairytale land..

Gretel and Hansel are helping their dad chop down a tree for some fireword. He gives Gretel a compass and says "a family always needs to find one another". Then he promptly gets lost.

Who should find the twins? You guessed it...the evil queen wearing one of the most fantastic hats EVAH.

After showing off with some magic and just generally rubbing everyone the wrong way, EQ tells the children she will help them find their daddy..but first they must help her.

Red flag!

I mean she just disappeared, reappeared and had the tree roots hold you down. What could she possibly need your help with?

Dumb and Dumber agree to wait until night to steal a satchel away from the blind witch. Seriously? Why do you gotta wait till night? She's blind!

EQ reminds them to eat NOTHING.

Now I ask you if a evil magic queen told you that you needed to steal a satchel for her if you ever wanted to see your father again and that as long as you didn't eat anything all would go well...would you eat a freakin' cupcake? I think not.

Guess what Hansel did?

They both get busted by the blind witch and she just can't wait to eat them. Personally, I was rooting for the witch mostly because Hansel's hat was oh-so-annoying.

The brats escape and shove the witch into her own oven. They return the satchel to the queen. Inside it...an apple. I'm surprised Hansel made it all the way to the castle without eating it.

The queen rewards them. She offers them riches beyond their imagination. Their own rooms. Their own servants. But, alas, all they want is their father. EQ is notibly annoyed and covers them in black smoke and sends them to a land far far away.

When the guards fetch dearest dad from the dugeon she asks him why his children picked him over her. "because we're family and family always finds one another.". She sends him to far far farther away land and says "have fun looking"

Meanwhile...back in Storybrooke.

Henry runs into Ava and Nicholas Zimmer aka Hansel and Gretel who promptly set him up to be arrested for shoplifting. Let's be clear--that doesnt look good when your "mom" is the mayor and your mom is the sheriff.

Turns out Ava and Nicholas are homeless and do their best to trick Emma who doesnt fall for it. Instead she takes them to Mary Margaret's appt. with her. I mean that seems like a bit of an overstep. I really hate when my house guest brings in stray cats let alone stray kids.

Emma, who continues to be delusional, is determined to locate their father. Ava says maybe this will help and gives her a compass. Um...weird.

Emma takes the compass to Gold/Rumple and he knows exactly who bought it. Michael Zimmer. Twelve years ago and he found that information in 2 minutes. Perhaps Rumple should work for the government.

Turns out he's the towns only mechanic and he's not a big fan of children. He suggests she take them to boston and seperate them. "I know nothing about being a father."

Emma feels sad so when Henry asks her about his father she tells him that he was a heroic fireman who died saving others. (she later admits to Snow that she made that up.)

The Mayor is pushing for Ava and Nicholas to go to Boston. And just when it looks like Emma is headed to Boston with those kids and her tail between her legs, she fakes an engine breakdown and calls the only Mechanic in town.

Their father.

He decides to keep em.

When Emma returns she tells Snow that she is excited that daddy had a change of heart. She wonders why it only took 20 minutes to find their dad and she can't find hers in 30 years.

She tells MM/snow that Henry thinks she is her mother. Snow jokes about her having Snow's chin.

Back outside on Sheriff patrol, Henry brings Emma a slice of pumpkin and they get a first hand view of the sexy new stranger who arrived in town on a motorcycle. Hmmmm....who could it be?

A new love interest or the big bad wolf whom ironically the Sheriff sent right to Grannie's house.

Next week Charming returns and I am sooo happy,