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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Thirty-nine things I learned at the lake on my thirty-nineth birthday

Saturday was my 39th birthday. My sister (left) and her family came to visit for a few days and we spent the day at a local lake. The guys took the canoe out, some of the kids went for a ride, we swam at the lake and enjoyed a not-as-hot-as-the-surface-of-the-sun kind of day.

Here are the 39 things we learned.

1. Some families have additional children so the older siblings can care for the younger ones. It isn't uncommon to see a 2 year old chasing after her 1 year old sister.

2. If you want to look like a freakin' ghost apply 110 SPF sunscreen for 20 minutes. Holy white! Ever hear about the benefits of vitamin D?

3. Bathing suits are not required at the lake. You can just go swimming in your underwear. Ugh.

4. Middle G has a butt knuckle and my sister knows how to crack it.

5. My son has no stranger danger. He asked a stranger to look after his raft and if he'd seen his cousin.

6. Wasp stings, especially on the bottom of you foot, hurt and thinking of puppies and sunshine doesn't really help.


7. Even though the park was overflowing with hammocks, they were not provided by the lake. In fact they are from El Salvador and no one there will speak enough English to understand you want to buy one.

8. The items people will cook on the park provided grills are seriously questionable.

9. It can be difficult to ascertain the gender of certain people.

10. Paddling the canoe is a lot of work, especially when you have two talkative tweens with you.

11. The park ranger may be more talkative than the tweens.

12. Always carry toliet paper in the van. You never know when you may need it.

13. When rushing to the aide of your son, make sure your swim suit is securely fastened or you will flash the canoes as they rush by.

14. If you have an exceptionally overweight child, make sure they have food in both of their hands at all times.

15. Spending time at the lake improves your singing.

16. People will assume you stole their raft before looking for the one they brought.

17. Strangers will try to get you to pull them on the raft.

18. Rocks will entertain kids for hours.

19. Speaking another language would be beneficial.

20. It's your birthday and you can do whatever you want is not a legal defense.

21. No matter how hard you try, sometimes you just can't work your crazy eye.

22. Fish do not like chocolate covered pretzels.

23. All purchases, from getting a soda to buying a hammock, should be discussed at great length.

24. It is impossible to take a decent picture of all five of our children.

25. My sister doesn't know how to count to 39.

26. An entire bag of doritos can disappear in less than 15 minutes.

27. Odd numbers of kids don't play even.

28. Love is in the air! Is what I was singing after every fight.

29. If people can't tell if you are with your son or your lover, you have a HUGE problem!

30. How can it be humanly possible for your brain to process information that slowly.

31. Nothing will ever happen the first time you say it.

32. My almost 8 year old son can still wear a 3T swimsuit and thinks "show me your muscles" means show me your rib cage. This picture should be on a feed the children commercial. Please note: there is food in his hand and he is fed regularly.

33. If you are dehydrated you will likely cry and not know why.

34. Xanax is highly recommended.

35. Some people are not spontaneous.

36. All kids think they know everything.

37. Throwing dead fish at your cousins or sisters is really funny, but mostly only to you.

38. Popping up out of the lake, pretending to be a lake monster, will make your Aunt scream.

39. One day at the lake is very educational.

9 random thoughts:

Pat said...

Okay, I learned a lot, but what the hell is a "butt knuckle"? Inquiring minds want to know!

Jenny Girl said...

There are quite a few funny lessons learned here. Happy Birthday :)

Dan said...

What? No note of the increase in knowledge just from turning another year older? That is the whole reason for Birthdays - that and gifts. {*grin*}

Happy Birthday!

Jenners said...

Happy Birthday!!! You sure learned a lot at the lake. And every time I go to the township pool now, I think of your "What I Learned At The Pool" posts!

Mitch Block said...

This really made me laugh. In my case, wasp stings can be deadly. Ouch! And very good advice about the crazy eye.

Amanda said...

Great pictures! Very cheerful. :)

Happy belated birthday!

Kristie Maynard said...

Happy Birthday!
Wow! You sure learned a lot in one day. You learn new things where ever you go. Now that's a lesson learned, we should look for all the new things we can learn, no matter where we are!

DeepBlue said...

There are still people using the park provided grills?
I mean, there are STILL... PEOPLE USING THE PARK PROVIDED GRILLS???
*shakes head*

And then we ask why the world is the way it is!

Thanks for the laugh! This post should get an award... ;)
Hugs
Jon

septembermom said...

This was great! I loved your comment about the talkative park ranger compared to the kids. Very true! Hope you had a terrific birthday!!! Sorry about the wasp sting. Ouch.

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kisatrtle
I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
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