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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

How much girl drama can a mama handle?

My oldest is almost 12.

It is hard for me to keep track of who is her friend, who used to be her friend, who is her frenemy, who is her enemy and who she thinks is cute.

I am at a complete loss as to how to help her.  I don't understand tween girls.

I don't like them.

They judge you by who you know, what you wear and who eats lunch with you.

I vividly remember how torturous "they" made my middle school years and I'm not ready for Oldest to have to endure this.  But I feel like my hands are completely and totally tied.

Even though these girls treat her like a tissue, she values their opinion more than mine.  If I tell her that she looks great in her new glasses, she thinks that I'm just saying that because I paid for them.  If the girl who fed her a dog biscuit last year says she like her glasses, oldest beams about it for three straight days.

Today there was bus drama.  Who sits with who and where they moved to after so-and-so got off the bus.  Who isn't talking to you, who is talking to you.  It makes your head hurt just trying to follow along.

"I have no friends," says oldest.  "No friends at all."

It hurts me to hear her say this and to not be able to fix it.

I have no answers

6 random thoughts:

the Daily Scrapper said...

poor baby!!! tween ages are hard. I feel for her and you. no real words of advice just hugs.

Becca said...

Oh that is just so heartbreaking. I can't help ya with it because I am absolutely terrified for my girls to reach her age. I swear I really do wish I could keep them happy, innocent, and carefree forever!

Julia said...

I am going through a similar situation with my 9 year old. She is so sensitive and her feelings get hurt so quickly. I want just scream at some of these girls. Why do so many of them have to be so bitchy???? I get so upset over it.

Anonymous said...

does it help to know that my daughter, will be 11 in April, is going through the same thing in 5th grade? She is going to middle school next fall and I am terrified!! It's all in God's hands really. Tween is a mean stage of life. It breaks my heart, I feel your pain.

Jenners said...

I'm completely impartial and I love her new glasses.

And my heart is just breaking over here. I HATED this kind of stuff. I remember how PAINFUL and HORRIBLE this is. Girls can be so mean to each other ... and you're right, you can't really "fix" it like you can when they had problems when they were younger. But you love her and she knows that and that is probably all you can do for her right now. It is so painful to have to see this, I'm sure. I feel for you ... and I dread this kind of thing myself.

septembermom said...

I'm worried about my 11 year old too. He's having trouble with friendships this year. It's so tough. I wish I could give you advice to help your pretty girl. I dread when Jillian gets to that age because I know that girls can get really mean. Hugs to you...

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I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some meant some comments.
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