Blogging buddy Jenners challenged us to rewrite a fairy tale by mixing it up with pop culture.


I picked the disturbing tale of Hansel and Gretel.

You know the awesome tale of the evil bitchy step-mother who demands the poor woodcutter father abandon his children in the woods because they have no food to share with them. In the woods the children are rescued by a child-eating witch. Things go from bad to worse until the kids manage to cook the witch and steal her gold.

They find there way back to the father who tells them the step-mom is dead. We don't know how that happened but he was woodcutter after all and had a lot of sharp objects in the house. He hugs his kids and tells them he won't leave them for dead again and they tell him the found some gold and life will not be great.


Blah blah happy ending.

My version merged with the characters of LOST.

Once upon a time there was a very drunk doctor who died in Austrailia.  His HOT son Jack went to fetch his body.  On the way home Jack's plane crashed and he found himself lost in the words.

Soon Jack awoke and found Kate who helped the poor doctor sew up his side.

When it became apparent that rescue wasn't coming, Jack led Kate and the rest of their group into the forest.

"Do not worry," he said, "I can find the beach again and I will get us home."

In the woods, the group encounters all sorts of dangers including a polar bear, a smoke monster, and a visit from Jack's dead father.

Just when the group is about to revolt and name a new leader, they come under fire and are taken hostage by the OTHERS.

The OTHERS want to fatten them up and eat them.  They trick the others by offering a chicken bone instead of their fingers everytime they come over to their cage to see if they have fattened up.

Soon a man from the future named David Faraday arrives at camp and the entire show begins to really  Jump the Shark

It's truly sick just how much I love this totally outlandish tale.

I borrowed today's post from Gina at Namaste By Day. Visit her and tell her that you too decided to play along.

I’ve come to realize that my job. . . is not one a lot of people want but one I surprisingly enjoy.

I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving. . . I like to talk to my sister on the phone. It feels like she isn't so far away.

I’ve come to realize that I need. . .to take myself back to the doctor if I am still coughing on Monday.

I’ve come to realize that I have lost. . .patience and can't seem to remember where I put it.

I’ve come to realize that I hate it when. . . . my feet are trapped under a blanket. I have to have them outside of the blanket even if they are frozen or I have a panic attack.

I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk. . . I become way too talkative!

I’ve come to realize that money… isn't really all that important. Most things worthwhile don't cost that much.

I’ve come to realize that certain people. . .can rub you the wrong way no matter what.

I’ve come to realize that I’ll always. . . love to craft.

I’ve come to realize that my sibling(s). . . is way to far away from me.

I’ve come to realize that my mom... is who she is and that I need to accept that and be happy.

I’ve come to realize that my cell phone. . . unreliable. I blame AT&T for this.

I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning. . . I was still tired.

I’ve come to realize that last night before I went to sleep. . . I watched a Glee repeat, which must make me pretty pathetic.

I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking. . .please let there be a 2 hour delay tomorrow.

I’ve come to realize that my dad. . . is not a needy person.

I’ve come to realize that when I get on Facebook. . . I spend way to much time there.

I’ve come to realize that today. . . . was a easy going kind of day.

I’ve come to realize that tonight. . . . I need to get more sleep.

I’ve come to realize that tomorrow. . . there will be more snow

I’ve come to realize that I really want to. . . .work on my book.

I’ve come to realize that life. . . is all about how you react.

I’ve come to realize that this weekend. . . is the start of another swim session.

I’ve come to realize that my friends. . . are abundant and true.

I’ve come to realize that this year. . . will bring about the end of my beloved show LOST.

I’ve come to realize that my husband. . . is under appreciated.

I’ve come to realize that maybe I should. . . eat less poptarts (but they are so good).

I’ve come to realize that I love. . . scrap booking, card making, writing and turtles.

I’ve come to realize that I don’t understand. . . 5th grade math.

I’ve come to realize my past. . . has already happened and that I need to move on.

I’ve come to realize that parties. . ..are over-rated.

I’ve come to realize that I’m totally terrified. . . of drowning.

I’ve come to realize that my life. . . is just as God has planned.

If you aren't familiar let me sum it up for you. The sweet little boy on the cover grows up a little bit more on every page. The mother gets closer to death on every page.

She sings this song:


Until one day she can't sing anymore 'cause of the whole impending death thing and the boy holds her and rocks and sings this version:



Just when you thought it couldn't get worse, they introduce the doe-eyed female reindeers, who aren't allowed to play any reindeer games. They are there to watch and cheer on the big bad bucks.


Mrs. Santa and Mrs. Donner do not have first names. Apparently their characters weren't strong enough to warrant names.


Mrs. Santa spends the entire show trying to feed Santa.


Mrs. Donner and Clarice risk their lives to save Rudolph, Hermie and Donner but after Yukon Cornelius and the Abominable fall off the cliff Burl Ives says, "They were all very sad about their friend, but they knew the best thing was to get the women back to Christmas Town".


OMG by that time this movie was pissing me off.


The ending is happy and Rudolph is accepted but I'm sure glad I'm not rasing daughters in 1964.


Personally, I thinks it may be time for an updated version.


Maybe Middle G will write one.

I started thinking the other day about all the things I say.

All the things I repeat.

Which, of course, lead me to all the things I say that I never thought I'd say...

This is just an "off the top of my head" list and by no mean constitutes a complete compliation.

1. "Don't touch the dog's penis."
2. "Do not kiss each other with your tongues. That is how animals kiss."
3. "Eating things off the bottom of your shoes is not acceptable."
4. "If you find gum under a table, it is not free candy."
5. "Do not ever let me catch you biting your toe nails again."
6. "The dog is not playing with you when he tries to get on your back.  Do not let him do that EVER again."
7. "Butts just get ichy.  I do not know why."
8. "Spongebob's friend, Patrick, is not a giant tongue.  He is a starfish."
9. "We do not flush potatoes down the toliet.  Even if they fit in the hole, they still get stuck!"
10. "Was whatever you just put in your mouth food?"

What are some things you've said that you never thought you would?

A few posts ago, my bloggy buddy Jenners had a great post entitled Christmas by the Numbers.

I thought it was creative enough to swipe. So here is my "not as good" version.

Inches of snow received including the 12/18 blizzard: 20

Number of snowmen made in December: one

Number of Christmas celebrations: 4

Number of presents we gave to my step-mom and dad: one each

Number of presents they gave us: 10

Number of times my son reminded them he asked for a laser beam and didn't get one: 4



Number of times the girls asked Grammie if she was ready to open gifts: 17

Number of times she said "in a little bit": 16

Number of times they asked if there was more to open: 7




Number of presents we got my mom and step-dad: 4

Number of presents they got us: 15

Number of times I had to remind my kids to say thank you: 2,957





Number of presents Santa brought each of them: 3 (like the wise men brought Jesus)

Number of gifts my son opened before he found this car: 6

Number of gifts he wanted to open after he opened this car: 0

Number of presents Copper the dog received: 8

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. ~Norman Vincent Peale


Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home. ~Carol Nelson


He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. ~Roy L. Smith


Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind. ~Mary Ellen Chase