Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Just write Tuesday: more from my 12 year old daughter
Many of you commented on this post and told me that while the 12 year old in the story did, indeed, leave her dead mother in the car as casually as she would her McDonald's cup, I needed not to be alarmed.
That clearly there were NO similarities to my life. Just because my 12 year old wrote the story doesn't mean it is about me. Obviously. Anyone who knows me, knows I would never coach soccer; so clearly I am not the mom in this story. (said with as much conviction I can muster, which isn't really all that much.)
Since it is obviously not about me, I am posting some more of it. Enjoy.
Well when I got into town I called the police and told them about the crash and where it was. (I disguised my voice because I didn't want them to think I was pulling a prank.) Then I went to the phone book to look up Rich, John but I didn't find anything. So I resorted to the Internet. Now I know most people would have skipped the phone book and gone straight to the Internet, but I'm not most people. I looked in the phone book because if he was in the city, he would be in the phone book.
Now I need to check the state so I went to the yellow pages.com and I still couldn't find Rich, John. So then I tried the country. That didn't result in anything either. So I tried the world and finally I found one Rich, John in Panama. To be sure I refreshed the page and then he was everywhere. Then he was in Bolivia and then Australia...when the last Rich, John finally icon finally appeared in the Bahamas I began to realize that this was going to be a lot harder than I thought.
I haven't told you where I live. i live in Maine and I have to get 1) enough money for a trip to Florida and 2) I need to book a cruise to the Bahamas. The first thing I did was go to the bank and take all the money out of my savings account and my mom's savings account. I checked to see how much I had and soon realized it was only $1,072. This was going to be a problem. I needed to think of some way to make money.....
I continue to be proud of her active imagination and her desire to write her thoughts down. That being said, I still wish the mom in the story hadn't died. Part of me is a terrified to learn how this 12 year old (not my daughter) is going to earn money. Here's hoping for a very successful lemonade stand!
That clearly there were NO similarities to my life. Just because my 12 year old wrote the story doesn't mean it is about me. Obviously. Anyone who knows me, knows I would never coach soccer; so clearly I am not the mom in this story. (said with as much conviction I can muster, which isn't really all that much.)
Since it is obviously not about me, I am posting some more of it. Enjoy.
Well when I got into town I called the police and told them about the crash and where it was. (I disguised my voice because I didn't want them to think I was pulling a prank.) Then I went to the phone book to look up Rich, John but I didn't find anything. So I resorted to the Internet. Now I know most people would have skipped the phone book and gone straight to the Internet, but I'm not most people. I looked in the phone book because if he was in the city, he would be in the phone book.
Now I need to check the state so I went to the yellow pages.com and I still couldn't find Rich, John. So then I tried the country. That didn't result in anything either. So I tried the world and finally I found one Rich, John in Panama. To be sure I refreshed the page and then he was everywhere. Then he was in Bolivia and then Australia...when the last Rich, John finally icon finally appeared in the Bahamas I began to realize that this was going to be a lot harder than I thought.
I haven't told you where I live. i live in Maine and I have to get 1) enough money for a trip to Florida and 2) I need to book a cruise to the Bahamas. The first thing I did was go to the bank and take all the money out of my savings account and my mom's savings account. I checked to see how much I had and soon realized it was only $1,072. This was going to be a problem. I needed to think of some way to make money.....
I continue to be proud of her active imagination and her desire to write her thoughts down. That being said, I still wish the mom in the story hadn't died. Part of me is a terrified to learn how this 12 year old (not my daughter) is going to earn money. Here's hoping for a very successful lemonade stand!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Happy Memorial Day: Thank a Soldier
The Soldier: - By Charles M. Province
It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech.
If you can read this message thank a teacher,
If you are reading it in English of your own free will THANK A SOLDIER!
It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.
It is the soldier, not the lawyer, who has given us the right to a fair trial.
It is the soldier, who salutes the flag, who serves under the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.
To all the brave men and women who have dedicated or given their lives
to protecting this country and it's freedoms: Thank you.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Lessons from the lunchlady: Milkmen deserve their reputation
We are in the home stretch.
Just 6 1/2 days of school remain. I have mixed feelings about this.
Part of me is thinking YES and the other part is screaming NO. I keep thinking it's gonna be great not to have to make lunch, wipe tables and do dishes and then I realize that I still have to do all that crap, I just won't be getting any pay.
Here's what I learned this week.
Here's what I learned this week.
- Eventually there's no more chicken. We laugh often about how many times chicken is on our menu. Hip chicken, chicken balls, chicken stix, chicken sandwiches, chicken fries...we serve ALOT of chicken. So when I found and purchased funny chicken shirts for everyone and then found out we didn't have chicken THE REST OF THE YEAR I was a little peeved. We decided we didn't care and we're wearing our new shirts on Tuesday for honey BBQ ribs.
- Choices, choices and more choices. Next year's menu is gonna include not only a hot lunch and two alternatives but will also give students a choice between a hot vegetable and a cold one. I truly can't imagine having to ask a five year old, "Would you like the cheeseburger, the turkey sandwich or the peanut butter and jelly. Now do you want green beans or a salad or chilled peaches or fruit juice. Pick two." KILL ME NOW.
- Taco salad vs. Chef salad. These two items fought it out on the menu this week. Taco salad edged out the Chef salad and it was great to see all those little kids eating lettuce. Even if I'm convinced that most of them thought they ordered a taco.
- Boogers are not on the menu. We had a little boy just diggin for gold in the line this week. Thankfully his teacher stressed that booger pickin' shouldn't be done at school. The little boy behind him said, "I hope I never see that again." It was tooo funny.
- Milkmen deserve their reputation. I'm pretty sure the milkman asked me to run off with him today but I'm hoping that the entire thing was a miscommunication. By miscommunication, I mean I'm hoping he didn't really say, "Hop in the truck and I'll take you with me but I'm certain I'm getting a better deal than you are." (insert flirty tone and smile) Um...he could be my father although in his defense I do look hot in a hairnet!
Six and 1/2 days and only one more milk delivery to go.
What did you learn this week?
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Why I am not a doctor...yet
Recently a (younger) friend of mine recieved her doctorate and it got me thinking "Holy crap, she is a doctor and, well, I'm not." I started to wonder why? What is preventing me from becoming a doctor, as well?
After much consideration, I realized that I would be significantly smarter if I didn't have so many useless song lyrics jammed into the recesses of my brain. I mean, for example, take this song.
After much consideration, I realized that I would be significantly smarter if I didn't have so many useless song lyrics jammed into the recesses of my brain. I mean, for example, take this song.
Lita Ford....seriously. Am I the only person out there that knows the words to this somewhat stupid song? How about the look? Let's hope it doesn't make a comeback anytime soon. Scarey! I feel as if these lyrics are taking up valuable brain space that could be utilized for something more useful than belting them out at the top of my lungs while driving down the interstate.
This song reminds me of a guy I dated named Gary who had hair down to his ass and a skull tatooed on the left side of his chest. My dad seriously considered buying a gun when I brought Gary home for the holidays...LMAO at that. He, is by far, the polar opposite of my husband, I wonder if Gary is a doctor?
This song reminds me of a guy I dated named Gary who had hair down to his ass and a skull tatooed on the left side of his chest. My dad seriously considered buying a gun when I brought Gary home for the holidays...LMAO at that. He, is by far, the polar opposite of my husband, I wonder if Gary is a doctor?
I love me some Reba, but when you consider the fact that she has recorded like 5 million songs and most of these songs are stuck in my brain, I have to consider the fact that they could be preventing me from solving something important like school funding issues in Pennsylvania or why Lady Gaga is so bizzare.
Really....how many genres can you fill your head with before you start to forget things like where did I put my keys and why did I go upstairs in the first place.
This one makes me laugh and I really don't care how much space it is taking up.
I could probally try to purge this one from my mind but I find it significantly motivating while attempting to clean. Plus it reminds me of some good times I spent at a dance club with my besties when I was much younger and no closer to a doctorate than I am now.
I bet you are all thinking the same thing. "I, too, could be a doctor. I just need to purge some useless music from my mind." There is only one problem with my flawless disertation, my friend knows just as many song lyrics as I do (maybe more).
In conclusion, I couldn't be prouder of her! Clearly, she has a lot more space in her brain than I do in mine. It's the only logical conclusion.
I bet you are all thinking the same thing. "I, too, could be a doctor. I just need to purge some useless music from my mind." There is only one problem with my flawless disertation, my friend knows just as many song lyrics as I do (maybe more).
In conclusion, I couldn't be prouder of her! Clearly, she has a lot more space in her brain than I do in mine. It's the only logical conclusion.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Hump Day Craft Post: a handful of flowers
Our district is shuffling some teachers around. I hate when that happens. I made this bouquet for one of the teachers leaving our building. It has the handprints of all of her students made into flowers. I painted pawprints onto the vase. The tag said: we love you and we'll miss you.
Thanks for visiting. If you are posting a hump day craft let me know
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
A few things you should know
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| B and Me ! |
- If you are coming to visit me to share some laughs and have some wine feel free to stop by; if you are coming to visit my house and are expecting it to be clean and in an orderly fashion then you should make an appointment.
- I do not eat red meat. I do not like it, Sam I am and I will not eat it. Not on a boat, not with a goat, I simply won't.
- I HATE wearing shoes. When not at work, I never have socks or shoes on. In the summer, I live barefoot.
- My BFF (pictured above) will listen to me drone on and on forever about anything. She will listen to me talk about all aspects of my life from laundry to my ineligibility to vote in the primary election due to my reluctance to select any major party.
- My sister is four years younger than me but most people don't suspect that.
- I love to make things for people.
- It hurts me deeply when people say stuff about me behind my back. I much prefer the direct approach although I still find that to be just as painful.
- I like brussel sprouts, but find chocolate cake hard to swallow.
- Peanut butter cups are the bestest!
- If I consider you to be my friend, there is little, to nothing, that I won't do for you.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Some Random Open Letters
Dear Tooth fairy, The boy lost another tooth tonight and let's face it, you have a shotty track record when it comes to showing up on time and with actual cash. Let's try to discontinue this practice. Please try not to mess it up.
Dear Opposing Team Tball coach, Allowing your players to stay on base after they are OUT doesn't teach them how to play baseball. I'm okay with no strikes, and I'm fine with the fact that EVERYONE hits every inning, but come on! If our players actually get someone out, you need to respect that and make your player sit. In case you didn't notice, when your players got an out, our players sat.
Dear Beach, I miss you!
Dear Kids, What is the likelihood you can go an entire day without fighting? The joy this simple request would bring is immeasurable. Please consider and get back to me on this ASAP.
Dear Weekend, Thank you for being awesome!
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About Me
- kisatrtle
- I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
