Dear M,

I know it is not your fault that your head is the size of the average Thanksgiving turkey. I realize that if my mom and step dad didn't crate you regularly that perhaps I may be able to tolorate you. That being said, I still find you difficult to like.

You eat everything and by everything I mean stuffed animals, prescription glasses and candles. You never tire. Is there Red Bull in your water dish? Speaking of your water dish, it is not for swimming in. You can drink without immersing your entire head and spilling the water dish. In fact, with a tongue as large as yours, you could probably drink without bending your head.

Drool grosses me out and I am pretty sure someone told you. Is that why you like to coat my dog in your drool? Is that why you decorated my glass door in it? A word of advise, shaking your spit on people = bad manners. Stop it.

Knocking over my children will not win you any accolades. They don't like it and neither do I. Apparently banning you from my house has little effect since you can't drive and those who can ignore the ban.

Let me bark it out for you. While I find you to be a significant improvement from my mother's previous dog, which I was convinced was plotting my death, I still find you unacceptable. I was hoping my mom would get a purse sized dog. Instead she got you.

You are impossible to control. You don't walk well on a leash. You outweigh most of my family members. I don't want you at or in my house and I likely will not visit you at your house. We are at an impass.

Stay. You at your house and me at mine.

Annoyed in PA,

~kisa~

1. The Dentist: It is no big secret that I'm not a big fan of the dentist. I have had my share of dental work (including three root canals) and visiting him generally puts me into a funk. But this particular visit on Monday was for a filing (my first in 4 years) and the tooth he was filing wasn't bothering me at all. Therefore, I was of the mindset that if it doesn't hurt I shouldn't let him mess with it. But alas, I didn't follow my gut on that and now my tooth is sensitive, annoyed and generally pissed off, sort of like the rest of me.
2. My kids. Don't get me wrong, I love those little buggers, but this week they have been pushing all of my buttons. I can remember holding those sweet little infants and I never once pictured them spitting on each other, screaming I hate you, or destroying the house. I think we may have reached our summer "fun" limit.
3. My husband. He seems to be in a bad mood this week, too. Maybe my funk and his funk are creating a superfunk. Kind of like a supergerm only worse because you can't just spray Lysol and kill it. Or maybe it is all just a figment of my funk filled mind.
4. My house. It is a mess and we are expecting a houseful this weekend. Friends of ours are visiting from Ohio and my in-laws are coming for the day on Saturday. I think I need a Redbull if I'm going to tackle this monster. Of course, it doesn't help that no one can go outside right now and play while I clean because they are currently working on the roof and siding damage we experience from the holy hail storm we experienced in March.
5. My dog. He is barking at every bang, bump and movement. I realize that he is a dog and that expaning roof/siding work to him is pointless, but damn it is getting old. Anyone have a fenced in yard I can lock him in until they are done raining mine with siding, shingles and nails??? Warning: He is part goat and recently ate my neighbors swimming pool. You may want to move your patio furniture.

Here's hoping my funk dissipates along with this cloudy, chilly, just plain yucky weather. My birthday is next week and I want to be in a better mood.

P.S. Don't forget to enter my adhesive giveaway and to tell all your friends about it.

P.S.S. Come back tomorrow and share something you made this week for Let's Get Crafty Saturday.