Dear kisatrtle,

It seems like this time every year, you get a little negative.  Is it a seasonal thing?  Last year, I wrote you this letter and it could easily be copied and pasted below. 

What's wrong?

Usually you can shake these funks off rather easily.  Usually you can carry on.  Lately, however, I'm starting to get sick of you and your constant bitching. 

You are doing it again.

You are becoming one of "those" people. 

Stop.

People aren't gonna wanna hang out with you if every word out of your mouth is a complaint.  Shake it off.  Take the high road.  Follow your own advice.

Surround yourself with people who make you happy.  Resume the activities that bring you joy.  Cut ties with those that hurt you.  Just because they text you, doesn't mean you have to reply.  Go to the beach.  Take time to visit your sister.  The kitchen will be fine without you.

Christopher Robin would want you to know that you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

Stop complaining.

~Kisa

Dear Oldest G.

You're 14. Congratulations. You made it another year. Sure we fought. And this won't surprise you, we're gonna fight some more. But I'd like to think that you have learned some things from me over the last fourteen years.

I know that you like to roll your eyes at me. Those very eyes that used to look at me with awe and wonder now often glare at me in contempt. That little body that used to fit so neatly inside me is now taller than me. Those hands that used to hold mine so tightly now can't be bothered to pick up their dirty laundry.

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. Because no matter how old you get, I still see you as that curly haired cutie that used to worries that I would have fun while you were at school.

Since you still have a fondness for all things Harry Potter, this year I will offer my advice in Harry Potter quotes.

If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. Who said this? Sirius Black. What does it mean? It means that you can tell a lot on a date by how your boyfriend treats the wait staff. Remember, no one is better than you and you are better than no one.

The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing and should, therefore, be treated with caution. Spoken by Albus Dumbledore. So be cautious with your words. Be cautious in your actions. Speak the truth kindly. Refrain from intentional hurt.

Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain, said Arthur Weasley. Don't depend on Google. Don't believe it just because you read it online. Don't repeat it on Facebook without verifying it.

You'll soon find out some wizarding families are much better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there," said Draco Malfoy. Don't let others tell you what to think. Have an opinion. Have your own ideas. Never be afraid to disagree with the pack. It's okay to think differently.

Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect. Who doesn't love Luna Lovegood? We aren't guaranteed a life free from loss or pain. Often it is these losses or pains that help us grow. They help us become the people we are meant to be.

Take chances.

Take risks.

Don't sit on the sidelines.

Try something new.

Step out of your comfort zone.

Make a difference.

All my love, always and forever.

~Mom

Dear Little G,

Age is a sneaky thing which is why I'm guessing its so hard for me to believe that I am 40 and you are nine.

It doesn't seem like it was that long ago when I said to your dad during church, "I think I'm in labor. Contractions are seven minutes apart." You were two weeks early and we were both kind of relieved that we didn't have to stay for that church pot luck/congregational meeting.

Flash forward and here we are nine years later and I'm about to write some annual life lessons down for you. It's my hope that one day, you look back on them with a smile and maybe a knowing nod.

It's important to remember that effort matters. If you're gonna do a half assed job, you're gonna get half assed results. If the project is worth your time, it is worth your effort.

Always be carefree. I love the fact that you're not afraid to wear a birthday crown or dance when the music moves you. Sometimes as we grow older, we forget the importance of fun. We forget to laugh at ourselves. We forget how to dance. Don't let that happen to you.

Step outside of your comfort zones. I hate sports but I'm playing against the Harlem Wizards in a PTO event because a friend asked me to. Will I likely embarrass myself and laugh about it for years to come? Without a doubt. But those are the little things that make life fun. The moments where you can say, "Remember when...." Don't miss out on a remember when.

Follow your passion. I know what your thinking and it's true. I never sat in my third grade class and wrote down, "When I grow up, I wanna be a lunchlady". I'm sure none of your classmates did either. But here's what I know, I always wanted to work somewhere where I had a lot of fun, I always wanted to work somewhere where my coworkers and my boss were more like my friends, I always wanted to work somewhere where when I woke up I thought "I get to go to work today" instead of "I have to go to work today". Here's hoping that whatever you become you wake up thinking "I get to" instead of "I have to".

Be yourself. No matter where you're at or who your with, be true to yourself.

Your number one fan,

Mommy

Dear Little G,

Third grader, already!  This year marks a few first as well as a few lasts.  It's the first year since kindergarten that you've had a different teacher.  It's the first year that you'll take the state standardized test.  It's the first year that you won't ride with me to school in the morning.  It's just too early to drag you in there.  It's nearly too early for me.

It's the LAST year that you will be in the same building as me.  It is the last year that you will be considered an elementary student.  It's the last year that I'll know all the kiddos in your class.

As you embark on this great adventure, here are a few things to remember.

• Speak Up.  There is no such thing as a stupid question. If you are confused, tell someone.  If your feelings are hurt, speak up.  If you need something, raise your hand.  Help is never given to those who fail to ask.
• Perfect is not a realistic goal.  I realize that our own government expects all students to be perfect in 2014, but listen to your mama.  "Perfect is not possible."  All you can do is your best.  Often that means that someone will be better.  That doesn't mean your best isn't good enough.
• The more you read, the more you know.  This isn't just a Dr. Seuss quote, it's actually true.  The more you read, the more you absorb and the more you absorb, well the more you know. 
• Always be yourself.  I think we forget this as we age.  Right now, you have no problem being yourself and I hope that never changes.  But sometimes, I realize that it might be hard to believe, but sometimes we change because we think others will like us.  If only, I were _______ (faster, better at sports, smarter) then so and so would like me.  That statement couldn't be farther from the truth.  BE YOURSELF NO MATTER WHOM YOU ARE WITH.
• Call me Mommy.  Your the last of my children to still call me mommy.  The girls have already slipped into the mom phase.  While I am enjoying watching you grow, I also relish in the simplicity of "mommy" (at least for a little while longer).

Enjoy all that you can about third grade.  It's a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Love,

Mommy

• Don't be to anxious to "grow up".  You asked me the other day if I thought you should shave your legs and my response was simple.  "I think you should shave your legs as long as you are ready to make it a lifetime commitment."  Once you start you can't stop.  You decided on your own to wait a little while.  I'm sort of glad.
• It's good to have someone who always has your back.  I'm glad you have a good buddy who you can confide in and share laughs with.  The good thing about being a girl is that we make friends easier than boys.  The bad thing about being a girl that some of those friends look for ways to create drama.
• Boys, boys, boys.  You are starting to realize that not all boys are gross.  My advice to you regarding boys, "Never let a boy come between you and a friend.  It's simply not worth it."
• School is important.   You aren't exceptionally excited about the start of school.  You don't really like to read and sometimes you complain about math.  While it is true that you likely will not need to know the capital of Uzbekistan, you should look at all those lessons like adventures.  Just think of all the things you might learn tomorrow.
• Treat others the way you'd like to be treated.  I stress this point often and I'm sure you are sick of hearing it, but I think it's starting to sink in.  Tonight, when your best friend scored a goal in a scrimmage game, you immediately ran up and hugged her.  It made no difference to you that she was playing against you!

Dear Oldest G,

You are becoming a beautiful young woman.  I am amazed when I look at you.  Gone is the little girl with the blond ringlets and standing in her place is a young adult who looks so much like me.

As you complete your middle school journey I want you to remember a few things.

• Middle School has a lot of drama.  The thing about drama is that, if you let it, it will follow you wherever you go.  Those girls that make little things into big things, they do that as adults too.  Decide not to partake.  The choice really is yours.
• Boys eventually mature (okay not all of them).  Middle school boys think body noises are funny and boobs are great.  Eventually, these boys grow up and stop making the body noises, but they always think boobs are great.
• As with anything, what effort you put in, matches the result you receive.  If you apply yourself, you can pretty much accomplish anything.  There is an old saying that asks the question, "How do you eat an elephant?" The answer is "One bite at a time."
• Don't be too anxious for things to end.  Live in the moment, because this moment, the start of eighth grade, it will never happen again.
• Surround yourself with people that make life bearable.  There are two different kinds of people in the world: the givers and the takers.  Try to be a giver.

Here's hoping that you continue to shine in 8th grade.  I am very proud of you and the wonderful young woman you are becoming.

~ Mom ~
   

Dear Walmart,

How do I dislike you?  Let me count the ways.

There is the fact that you have 45 registers and you only open 4.  Why?  It's like you are purposely trying to piss me off.

There is the fact that the people working at the deli would rather be anywhere but in the deli.  I realize that maybe that isn't their dream job but when an elderly gentleman with two hearing aides simply wants to know which turkey lunch meat has the least amount of sodium so he doesn't poison his wife screaming 14 percent over and over at him is not the right answer. 

There is the fact that no matter the time of day there will be someone there giving a beat down to a small child.  It doesn't matter if its 7 a.m. or 11 p.m. someone will be there yelling at a child under three years of age.

There is the fact that without fail I will get behind the person with a cart full of school supplies and every ad in the tri-county area attempting to price match so they can save an additional 3 cents.  Seriously.  If I give you a dollar, will you go to another register.

There is the fact that your produce looks like a second hand store.  I realize that the Giant is selling strawberries for $3.50 lb and you are selling them for $1.50 lb, but if I can't eat them how does that help me?  Can't you see the mold?

There is the fact that all 4,000 carts are currently in the parking lot.

There is the fact that no matter what time of day or what time of year THERE IS ALWAYS A LINE A CUSTOMER SERVICE.  Hire more people to work customer service.  Preferably nicer people than those that work at your deli!

There is the fact that no matter how hard I try I can't seem to find better prices on groceries because if I could I WOULD NEVER ENTER YOUR STORE AGAIN!

Sincerely,

Kisa

Dear Mammogram,

I have been warned about you by many a family member and a friend.  I have been told about your painful nature and tendency to, shall we say, "leave a mark".

All of these thoughts were running through my mind as I went for my first mammogram yesterday.  I wonder if it's really as bad as everyone says it is, I asked myself.

After a short wait I was escorted back to a small locker room/waiting room.  The tech told me to undress from the waist up and provided me with a...wait for it....cape.  Sweet!  I like feeling like a superhero.

After adorning my cape, I was escorted to another room.  This was the room with the vice like contraption I had heard so much about.

My question, mammogram, is this.  Why do so many women have so many negative things to say about you but fail to mention your evil Nemesis the nipple sticker?

I can probably list more than ten terrible things I have heard about you but not one of them includes the nipple sticker.  The tiny sticker with the metal ball attached that "helps the x-ray techs to see my nipple better".

There is a gross injustice going on here.  While I found you to be moderately uncomfortable and slightly absurd, the discomfort was nothing compared to the removal of the nipple sticker.  I simply couldn't decide if a quick rip was better than a slow pull.  I simply felt ridiculous and after I finally got the first one off, I considered leaving the second one in place.

In conclusion, I feel like you are being grossly misrepresented and that while you are clearly not as fun as a good teeth cleaning, you are no more unpleasant than a throat culture.

That nipple sticker, though, she clearly needs to go.

Sincerely,

~kisa~

1. Be yourself. “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” Don't listen to people who try to make you into something you are not. Go against the current.


2. You are better than no one and no one is better than you. “A person's a person, no matter how small.” It is important to remember that no matter how big your wallet becomes that without someone willing to pick up the trash we would all drown in our own waste.


3. Care deeply about something other than yourself. Our world is self centered. It's all about what can I do for me. How can I get ahead. Promise me that you will take time to realize that IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU. “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It's not.”


4. Life is less about what happens and more about how you react. "I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!” Don't sit around wallowing in self pity. Take action. If you don't like your life, change it. If you don't like your job, do something else. If life deals you a bad hand, play it through the best you can.


5. Make your own path. Don't be a follower. Be a leader. Don't settle. "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go."


6. Don't take yourself too seriously. Laugh a lot. Make friends with people who bring out the best in you. “I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.”


7. Never stop reading. When we read we stimulate parts of our brain that can't be touched any other way. It helps us to learn better, to communicate better and to just be better. “The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.”


8. Life goes by pretty fast. To paraphrase Ferris, if you don't stop and look around you might miss it. Remember that no one is guaranteed a tomorrow. Live in the present. “How did it get so late so soon?"


9. There is someone out there just for you. Don't worry if it takes awhile to find them. You'll know when you do. “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”


10. Keep your eyes open. Opportunities are all around you. “You’ll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut"


11. Life is a series of memories. Some will be good. Some will be not so good. The important thing to remember is that without these memories, without these experiences we wouldn't be the people we are today. “Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened"

No matter where life takes us, I will always be your number one fan. I love you, Middle G. Happy Birthday!!!

Dear Oldest G,

It's that time of the year again. 

The time of the year when I reflect on how fast time really does fly.  The time of the year when I try not to think of all the things I've probably done wrong as we journey through parenthood together.

It's the time of the year when we celebrate the day you came into our lives and changed everything.

At 2:25 a.m. you will officially be a teenager.  I don't think I'm ready.  The thought makes me feel old.  I can't possibly be old enough to have a teenage daughter.  Can I?

While I was certain last February that you would be taller than me come your 13th birthday, I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm just a little bit glad that you're not.  Granted, we are eye level and the likelihood that you grow taller than my 5'2 frame this summer is strong.  For now, I'm holding on tight to that last little reminder that you are my baby.

Those sweet wispy curls are all but gone.  Those chubby cheeks have vanished.  You seldom call me mommy, though every now and then it slips out.  Your voice is no longer childish and is often mistaken for mine.  Sometimes I am bewildered by how quickly your body went from child to young adult. 

It is hard to believe that in five short years you will be leaving for college.  There are so many things that I am looking forward to teaching you and so many things I am afraid of your learning.

I look forward to teaching you to drive, yet I am afraid that once you learn you may no longer want to come back.  I look forward to meeting the boy that wins your heart but fear you may have to have it broken a few times before you find him.  I've imagined your graduation.  I've seen your wedding.  In my mind, I've held your baby.

My advice to you is to savor the little things because that old saying about them being the big things really is true.  Visit the ocean whenever you can.  Put your feet in the sand.  Eat cheesecake.  Laugh as often as possible.  Surround yourself with people who feed your mind and your soul and avoid those who don't. 

Find something you love and learn how to get paid to do it.  If that's not possible, continue to do what you love even if you can't make a living at it. 

Never be afraid to step out of your comfort zone.   You might be surprised where that will take you. 

Will you accomplish all you set out to do?  The odds are against that but don't get discouraged.  Maybe what you thought was a wrong turn was just a different path.

Most importantly, always treat others they way you want to be treated, even when they may not be treating you that way.  Remember that you are better than no one and no one is better than you.

All my love,

Mom

Dear Kisa,

Someone needs to tell you.  You've become...dare i say it...a little negative. 

Your having trouble seeing the positive.  Lately, you're focusing a lot of your energy on things that you cannot change and not focusing enough of your energy on the things you can change.

You really need to stop.

People aren't going to want to hang out with you.

Repeat after me...

It is okay if some people completely ignore your texts.  Perhaps they are trying to give you a hint.  They just don't want to talk to you.  Instead of feeling hurt, consider it a blessing.  If they don't have enough time to text you, they really aren't worth your time.

True...your kids have been fighting a lot.  Try to notice when they aren't fighting as much as you notice when they are fighting.  I think you might be surprised that they are actually getting along more often than they are fighting.

Simply put, some things are just out of your control.  School budget cuts, field trip costs, cafeteria management changes, PTO drama...the list can go on and on and on.  You cannot fix it.  No matter what you do.

No matter what you do.

And you know what?  That's okay.

Work on your book more.  Scrapbook more pictures.  Braid your daughters' hair.  Get your toenails painted. 

Focus less on the things you cannot change and more on the things you can. 

I know you can do it.

But you have to be willing to try.

Sincerely,

~Kisa~

Dear Middle G,

As parents, we take certain things for granted. We expect our kids to wake up every morning even though we know not everyone's kid is waking up.

We expect them to arrive safely at school even though we know that not everyone's child will arrive safely at school.

While we realize that not all days will be great days, we expect to hear about them in great length the next time we see each other.

We always expect to see each other.

While I realize that everyday bad thing happen to unexpecting people, I continue to hope and pray they will not happen to me.

Yesterday you woke up. You made it safely to school and then you choked at lunch on a dorito. No one but your friend L noticed. Thankfully she was able to help you dislodge the chip that was making breathing difficult.

You excitedly told me about the incident and how sore your throat was when you made it safely home.

You made it home safely.

Unlike this little boy who just weeks before choked in the school cafeteria on a meatball.

Our stories aren't that different. Except the ending.

We all expect to out live our children even though we know that not all of us do.

Counting my blessings,

~kisa~

Dear Alokoli,

I miss you.

I miss your poems. I miss your pictures. I miss your comments. Where are you, my friend? Are you still out there reading my words? Are you still out there lurking?

I don't know why you stopped blogging. I don't know why you closed your blogs. I don't know why you didn't say good bye. I want you to know that the presence of your absence lingers. I want you to know that the silence of your words is deafening.

I want you to know that I am praying all is well with you. I want you to know that I miss you. I want you to know that I am not the only one.

If you are still reading my thoughts, please drop me an email. Please let me know you are okay.

Happy Christmas, my friend.

~kisa~

Dear T-Mobile,

What were you thinking?

"Walking in a 4G wonderland?"

Do you have any idea what 4G sounds like when it is sung?  Do you have any idea the amount of panic that ran through my body when I thought my kids were watching something....um....really inappropriate?

Walking in a what?  Did you do this on purpose?

Dear Kermit Mug,

Thank you for holding so much necessary caffeine.

Thank you for being my favorite color.

Thank you for reminding me that in just a few short days I will be at the muppet movie premiere with my sister.

She and I grew up watching the muppets and I can't wait to watch them with her again and to share the fun with all our kiddos.

Cheers,

Kisa

Dear Mother Nature,

I don't like to beat around the bush so let me be blunt. I HATE YOU.

What have we done to you that has your tights in a wad? So far this year we have had record heat, an earthquake, flash flooding and now snow BEFORE Halloween.

I am not impressed.

Are you out to prove a point? Do you have an ax to grind? What is the purpose of all of this?

Let's be serious, pumpkins look stupid in the snow. They are meant to be surrounded by fall colors and hay bails. Not snow.

There is a reason Frosty wasn't a witch. Because witches made out of snow are STUPID. They aren't scarey. What's scarey is my heating bill...what's scarey is the fact that none of my kids have boots that fit.

This is my favorite tree and yet you tried to debranch it. Why? What has it ever done to you?

What about these?

What did they do to deserve this fate?

There is a reason that the leaves fall before the snow. The snow is just too heavy!

I think you and I need to come to some sort of amiable agreement.

Here's my proposal. You can have one snow storm per month in November, december, January and February. Come groundhog day that stupid little rodent better not see his shadow.

In return, I promise to publicly humiliate anyone I see liter, will recycle every recylable in my house including the toliet paper rolls, and will never call you a bitch on my blog again.

These are the terms. You have until the 15th to respond.

Sincerely,

~Kisa~ (my ass)

Dear time,

What is up with you?  You seem a little speedy lately.  You seem a little impatient.

I'm only one person and quite frankly I feel a little spread thin.

Between lunchlady land and reporting, I haven't been able to scrapbook a single page.

You flew by me this weekend. 

Granted we traveled for a wedding and that was tons of fun but I thought we agreed that you would stop a little after I got home so I could catch up on my laundry and other household chores.

For crying outloud have you seen the toilets? 

Can you give me a freakin moment to clean the toilets.  You have me running from work to PTO, to school board meeting, to soccer and back.  Tomorrow let's sprinkle in a little middle school band uniform fittings.  Um...I don't know how to fit a band uniform.

When am I suppose to visit my bloggy friends?  When am I supposed to update my facebook?  I feel like you are being unreasonable.

For goodness sake slow down a little.  It just dawned on my that Little G's birthday is a month from today and quite frankly I'm not ready for that.

Irritated with you,

Kisa