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Monday, January 14, 2013

If the Golden Globes were for food service employees...

I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I watched a good portion of the Golden Globes last night and I couldn't help but wonder what they would be like with a little less glitter and a little more hairnet.

I present the Golden Corncob awards...

Hosted by Jamie Oliver, the naked chef, the Golden Corncob awards are for those food service employees who remind kids every day that they need to take a veggie or a fruit.

The award for earliest riser goes to...our high school chefs who often arrive as early as 5:30 a.m. just to make sure the kids in their buildings have something hot to eat for breakfast.

The award for veggie least likely to be eaten goes to...refried beans. We know you're not supposed to judge by outwardly appearances but...dude...you look like baby shit.

The award for vegetable most difficult for elementary students to pronounce goes to Ass...Pear...Guts. And yes Refried, even asparagus beats you.

The award for best fruit mix has to go to orange and kiwi slices because orange and green make me happy and I'm handing out the awards.

The award for most creative cafeteria shirt high school level goes to ....

And best shirt elementary level goes to ...

The award for worst place a student could possibly vomit goes to the milk cooler.

The Golden Corncob for best place to have a nervous breakdown goes to the walk-in freezer. It's a wonderful place for a cool down.

The award for craziest thing the milkman has ever said has to be "Please contact your customer service representative. I just don't know anything about the strawberry milk."

We close our first ever Golden CornCob awards with a nod to sexiest hairnet...wink wink...

Thanks for stopping by...

3 random thoughts:

Kristie Maynard said...

I didn't watch the awards, but I'm reasonably sure I like yours better. Very creative awards you have given out there. I'm assuming that is you in that incredibly sexy hair net! Very nice!

Kristie Maynard said...

I've had to institute the word verificaton too and I just hate it. I have a question though, why do they make it so hard to read, those numbers are so blurred sometimes that I can only guess at what they are. Damn spammers!!!!!

Becca said...

Yes, I think your awards are much more entertaining than the Golden Globes. So hilarious!

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kisatrtle
I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
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