Friday, July 6, 2012
Poolside Perspective: It's a juggle out there, don't forget the Aquanet (Week 4)
It was hot this week. Very hot.
That means everyone wanted to swim. And I mean everyone. Here's what I learned during week four of Poolside Perspective.
Holy Hair Batman. We took a step back in time this week and paid homage to that ever so stylish 1980s big hair. Big hair + Aqua Net = no amount of splashing is getting that thing wet. The shields are up.
You juggle, I juggle, why not at the pool? Words are just escaping me. Was it too hot to practice for the big juggling show at home? Was it safer to start with balls in the water and then move on to knives? I just don't have an explanation. You?
I'm done with the whistle. You're in time out. After blowing her whistle numerous times at some kids sliding headfirst and all at once, our cute little lifeguard had enough. She calmly walked across the pool, pointed to each of the offenders and put them in timeout directly behind her lifeguard chair. She is my hero.
Mr. Dick is a funny name. I encourage my children to show respect by referring to adults by Mr.or Miss and then their first name, but honestly it is hard for me to keep a straight face when that name is Dick. "Mr. Dick is throwing us the ball." "Is it okay if he plays with Mr. Dick?" "I told Mr. Dick I could flip off the dive." "At least she's not climbing all over poor Mr. Dick." See what I mean.
Again with the monokinis. Last year I blasted these suits for being simply tasteless. We saw them on every body size from tiny toddlers to obese adults. This week I saw one on a pregnant lady. It was as if that tiny piece of fabric along the front was the only thing keeping her from a public water birth. It, my friends, was not pretty. If you're considering the look, I implore you to reconsider.
What did you learn this week?
That means everyone wanted to swim. And I mean everyone. Here's what I learned during week four of Poolside Perspective.
Holy Hair Batman. We took a step back in time this week and paid homage to that ever so stylish 1980s big hair. Big hair + Aqua Net = no amount of splashing is getting that thing wet. The shields are up.
You juggle, I juggle, why not at the pool? Words are just escaping me. Was it too hot to practice for the big juggling show at home? Was it safer to start with balls in the water and then move on to knives? I just don't have an explanation. You?
I'm done with the whistle. You're in time out. After blowing her whistle numerous times at some kids sliding headfirst and all at once, our cute little lifeguard had enough. She calmly walked across the pool, pointed to each of the offenders and put them in timeout directly behind her lifeguard chair. She is my hero.
Mr. Dick is a funny name. I encourage my children to show respect by referring to adults by Mr.or Miss and then their first name, but honestly it is hard for me to keep a straight face when that name is Dick. "Mr. Dick is throwing us the ball." "Is it okay if he plays with Mr. Dick?" "I told Mr. Dick I could flip off the dive." "At least she's not climbing all over poor Mr. Dick." See what I mean.
Again with the monokinis. Last year I blasted these suits for being simply tasteless. We saw them on every body size from tiny toddlers to obese adults. This week I saw one on a pregnant lady. It was as if that tiny piece of fabric along the front was the only thing keeping her from a public water birth. It, my friends, was not pretty. If you're considering the look, I implore you to reconsider.
What did you learn this week?
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About Me
- kisatrtle
- I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
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4 random thoughts:
come on, mr.dick is a funny name, it makes me giggle...lol
I cant believe you got out to go to the pool, I have stayed very close to the air conditioner as of late.,hot!
I really would have liked to see that big hair, darn!
I don't think those monokinis are so bad, well not on the models they aren't, but on a pregnant woman? Ummmmm NO! and actually on most people? Probably not. On me? Not in a million years!
As for that guy named Dick, well there aren't a lot of names that can be made fun of more, well except the family of girls that were in my high school, their last name was Queer. When I was a senior in HS, it was the early 70s and there were lots of race problems in Buffalo at the time and we had riots in our school too often for me to want to remember. Anyway one time some hoodlums (that's what we called them back in the day) took over the office, locked the secretaries in the closet and proceeded to mess around with the PA. They announced "Would all the queer girls come to the office please." Carol got up collected her books and started to leave the room. Luckily the teacher caught her before she actually did go to the office. Which is worse Mr. Dick or Mr. Queer?
I learned that no one will get sick if they see me in my bathing suit. It's very modest, but when I looked at all the others at the party on the 4th who were in suits in the water, I figured what the heck and graced them with my presence in the pool. Not a single person got sick or even faked it. They just said "Glad you joined us." Hmmmmmm could it be that we are all, well many of us over 50 and some over 60 and none of us has the body of a 20 yr old?
Every time I think "Mr. Dick," I start to chuckle again. Too bad Mr. Peter and Mr. Willy weren't there at the same time.
I'm known as Miss Jen and it makes me feel like a Southern belle!