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Friday, April 27, 2012

Lessons from the Lunchlady: Have you checked your congenitals?


Holy Crap!  I learned a lot this week and I only worked three days!  Imagine the wealth of knowledge I would be able to share with you if I actually worked five days!

Go get the alcohol.  Clearly this means something totally different to me than it does to my boss.  She meant the alcohol wipes we use to clean our thermometers.  I thought she had a secret stash I wasn't aware of.

If you're in your 90s chances are you won't die of congenital heart failure.  Ever have one of those words that just doesn't sound right.  I was trying to relay how my grandma's brother passed away and when I said congenital it sounded so wrong.  My co-workers laughed and corrected me.  They said congestive.  They mocked me most of the day about my congenitals, but I was still convinced that it was a real word.  Those to just wouldn't be swayed until our Dr. Principal concurred.  She must feel like a genius when she eats with us.

Kids have no idea what chili is.  We had chili this week and a lot of our kids were thrown for a loop.  One exceptionally articulate kindergartner nearly started to cry, insisting that he didn't order soup that he ordered hot lunch.  When I offered to (gasp) change his lunch to PB&J or a turkey sandwich his response, "I do so like turkey sandwiches."

Keep the hot water in the pan.  I managed to spill very hot water down the front of my pants.  It involved pulling slotted pans from a steamer and not realizing just how much water was still in there.  This incident prompted two things: an immediate visit to the bathroom to apply burn cream and the idea for a line of injured-at-work greeting cards.  "Heard you got all hot and bothered at work this week."

Everyone looks the same from behind.  Ok...not everyone.  We were all sitting down to lunch when a teacher from another building hollered to us, "Have you seen Dr. Principal?".  Um...no...oh wait.  She's just sitting right here beside me.  The teacher's response, "Oh, I didn't realize.  You look just like everyone else, I mean, well, not that, um...can I talk to you for a minute." 

Wait...are you saying lunch ladies look a certain way?





Say no to crack.  The last thing I learned this week was be careful just how low the rise of your pants falls.  There is a lot of bending in this job and your co-workers might not want to see your ass crack. 

This last one sort of proves that there is a certain look to lunch ladies, doesn't it?

What did you learn this week?

4 random thoughts:

Becca said...

Congenitals?! Hilarious!

Chili is one of Autumn's favorite meals. We always ate it growing up! What do those kids eat?

Mitchell is Moving said...

You just keep getting smarter, don't you (you couldn't get any more clever... I mean well not that um... because you're so clever to begin with...)!

So glad you were proven right about congenital -- real word, wrong place. When my niece was 11, she was learning about marine creatures. When she hit the octopus, she just loved the new big word tentacles. So she used it every chance she got... sort of. In a loud voice at the New England Aquarium. "WOW!!! Look at the size of those testicles!!! At a seafood dinner the same trip, she said to the waiter. "I ate everything but I didn't like the octopus's testicles."

Jenners said...

I was thinking "what is wrong with congenital?" So I totally understand. It is a word though … just not the right one in the right place. : )

And give me my hot lunch, lady! I paid for it! That was funny!

becca said...

I always feel smarter after reading these post and yes please say no to crack :)

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kisatrtle
I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
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