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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Five Reasons Walmart scares me

I'm guessing that if you google Reasons to Avoid Walmart you will have a plethora of hits.  Having just been to Walmart over the weekend I thought I would enlighten you as to what scares me the most.
  • The Bathroom.  I am convinced that people actually go to Walmart just to use the bathroom.  What they do in there, I can't even guess.  I try to make sure that I do not have to go.  I try to make sure that I haven't eaten or consumed any liquid before I go.  What you can be sure of is that one of the bathrooms will be closed for cleaning and the other will have a line.  There will be at least one broken toilet and one stall without a door.  Um...really.
  • Random Breast sightings.  How long does it take to put on a bra.  I mean if we timed this activity how long could it possibly take?  Yet many Walmart shoppers find this extra step too time consuming.  Here's a little bit of advise...take it or leave it.  If you are an exceptionally large breasted person and you have decided that putting a bra on is too much trouble, please refrain from wearing white.
  • Frequent child beat-downs.  Did you ever notice that kids are always screaming at the Walmart and parents are always yelling at the Walmart? Of course, if you weren't shopping with your kid at 2 a.m., your child may not be melting down.  Of course, I've been there at 2 p.m. and people of all ages were melting down so maybe it's just something in the air.
  • Return policy.  Have you ever waited for customer service at Walmart?  They will let you return anything there...open hamburger, underwear, swimsuits, frozen pizza.  Um...I am terrified just thinking about where all this stuff goes.
  • Illogical locations.  Why are the tampons near the milk?  Who decided that the dog food should be near the laundry detergent?  In what world is a it a good idea to put the shampoo in the middle of the pharmacy?  Do a lot of people buy socks and pocketbooks at the same time? 
In closing I'm leaving you with this...warning:  if you watch it, you may never go to Walmart again.


5 random thoughts:

Kristie Maynard said...

I love to see what's on The People of Walmart website. But you know when I go there, I never see anyone like that. One of these days, I'm gonna see one of those crazies.

Mitch Block said...

So glad they don't have these in Spain!

DeepBlue said...

This is brilliant!
And the video... at first I laughed like crazy and then a became really bewildered. I just couldn't BAW-lieve it!!! Those are REAL Walmart's client???

That's when I started questioning my ideas about welcoming diversity, accepting people as they are... then I thought of some Pride Parades...
OUCH!

Freedom of expression is a double-edged blade!
Great post
Hugs
Jon

David Allen Waters said...

I always have my phone set to camera when I venture into walmart, I swear it is the most entertaining place on earth...LOL

becca said...

funny video and i agree with everything you said walmart is definitely the place to go for interesting sights

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kisatrtle
I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
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