Before we dive right in with what I learned in lunchlady training this week, I would just like to take the opportunity to apologize to the 1/2 dozen male lunch persons who work in school cafeteria's nationwide.

Apparently, three of you are in my very own district and I have yet to change to the correct terminology of lunch person. Seeing as I find this term idiotic and seeing as there are about 400,000 more lunchladies than lunchmen I am gonna keep ignoring it. But please consider this a blanket apology that covers all future incorrect terminology.

Wow...I feel so much better.

Now grab a pen and paper and play along and for crying outloud please resist the urge to google the answers.

1). A student finds a hair in his food. Do you..

a. Say "seriously..like I'm wearin' a hairnet. I know that ain't mine and your trying to get more food.
b. Apologize and fetch them another tray and make a mental note to see if they try the same trick twice.
c. Count your hair to see if any have fallen out.
d. Stare blankly at them until they go away.

2). A parent calls to accuse you of stealing money from his child's account. Do you..

a. Say "I was meaning to thank you for those new clothes."
b. Thank him for bringing the matter to your attention and address the situation promptly.
c. Pray for a new job to land in your lap before he calls back.
d. Stare blankly at your computer screen until he thinks the phone has disconnected.

3). Two students collide while carrying their lunch trays. The cafeteria erupts into cheers. Do you...

a. Applaud and say "for cryin' out loud would you pay attention to what you are doing!"
b. Take a bow drawing attention to yourself while helping the kids clean up and get new food.
c Take pictures with your iphone
d. Stare blankly at the mess until someone else cleans it up.

4). One boy in line says to another boy in line "This food SUCKS". Do you...

a. Nod and agree
b. Tell him that that we don't say that but you'd be more than happy to listen to specific reasons why he didnt like his lunch.
c. Start a food fight.
d. Stare blankly at him while using a robot voice.

Pencils down. Now we will review you score. If you picked all As, it is likely that you are in high school and have yet to get a "real" job. If you picked all Cs, it is likely that you have never been considered proactive. If you chose all Ds, stop staring and do something.

If you chose all Bs, grab a hairnet and meet me in the kitchen at 8 a.m.