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Saturday, April 16, 2011

Lessons from the Lunchlady: urine happens

I must be ready for summer because my weeks keep getting longer. 

We even had a half day this week and it didn't feel like it.

When you add the crappy weather, the forced multiple days of inside recess, and the fact that I had multiple meetings in the evenings all about the same budget bulls**t, this week felt endless.

Here's what I learned:

  • HAMBURGER HELPER:  This meal would not be on Jamie Oliver's healthy schools wish list.  Government hamburger continues to frighten me and make me thankful that I do not eat red meat.
  • SMILEY FRIES.  My co-worker and I had so much fun making this video about the demise of the smiley fries.  Clearly, you need to have a sick sense of humor to work in the cafeteria.
  • AR REWARDS.  If students in our building read so many minutes they are rewarded with an Accelerated Reader reward.  The third marking period reward was a Disney movie called Earth.  It is a documentary about our wonderful planet, but I don't think that K-3 students are the target audience.  Every time an animal was about to be eaten by another animal the kids made some fantastic noises.  I'm pretty sure that I saw some teachers covering their own faces.  Mind you, it's Disney, so it's not nearly as graphic as the Discovery Channel version.  What the kids remembered?  Darth Vader was telling the story.
  • URINE HAPPENS.  Even in the lunch line.  Sometimes you just can't hold it any longer and it spills down your legs, fills your shoes and puddles in the lunch line.
  • GREEN BEANS.  Only 7 kids out of 170 ate their green beans and next year, thanks to our newer healthier federal guidelines I will have to offer things like kale, lima beans and collard greens.  Hmmmm, that sounds slightly pointless.
What did you learn this week?

5 random thoughts:

David Allen Waters said...

I started laughing as soon as I saw the title...and didnt stop while reading...thanx, I needed the giggle z:)

Kristie Maynard said...

You do learn some interesting things during lunch don't you. I learned that some people are so easy to deal with and others just won't work with you on a single thing!
You should check out the blog hop at www.qkrstampede.blogspot.com our theme this month is turtles.

Jenners said...

Oh dear about the urine. And if they don't eat green beans, there is no way they will touch kale!!!

septembermom said...

Darth Vader would be memorable :) LOL.

Feel bad for those kids that have the pee accidents.

Kale with kids?? Forget about it!

tattytiara said...

I learned about your charming blog from Jenners, and I'm quite pleased that I did!

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kisatrtle
I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
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