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Friday, April 29, 2011

Lessons from the Lunchlady: short weeks, long days



This week was very short.  Only three days but for some reason it felt much longer.  I can't really explain it, but these three days felt like nine.

Here's what I learned.

  • chicken, chicken, chicken.  We served lunch three days this week.  Two of those days we served chicken.  One day we had chicken tenders--the kids only get two and they complain the entire time.  Of course, if they actually ate the broccoli, the Alfredo noodles, and the fruit they are given they wouldn't be STARVING when they got home, but alas they only eat the processed chicken parts.
  • fortune cookies.  Attention fortune cookie manufacturers--I would like to suggest three things: (1) Stop putting SOY in your cookies.  This limits our ability to serve them.  (2)  Pick an oil:  Either peanut, soybean, or vegetable but pick one.  When you put things on your label that indicate that the cookies could have been made with this or may have been made with that you not only look stupid but you limit our ability to serve them.  (3)  This one may be the most important.  Come up with fortunes kids would care about and can understand.  When a 5-year old opens a fortune about meeting love at work it is meaningless to them.  Here are a few suggestions:  Math will be easy for you today-- You are Great at Reading --Your next birthday will be the bestest ever! -- Your Lunch lady is Really a Princess.
  • Zippers.  I thought urine in the lunch line was bad but this week we may have had something more...here's what I know.  I'm serving lunch.  It's 1st grade.  Suddenly at least five girls all start saying the same things.  They include:  "He's taking something out of his pants."  "Why is he touching his zipper."  "Don't do that!"  "EWWWWWW...."  I don't know what happened but I sent him to the office with his lunch tray.

    Guess where the valve is?
    **hint**  Carrots really shouldn't have legs..

  • Helium balloons.  My co-worker used to work at a balloon factory or something like that.  She is a jack of all trades.  She can easily manipulate a straw into a helium balloon and through the valve so she can suck the helium and manipulate her voice to sound like Alvin from the Chipmunks.  **FYI:  This really isn't a marketable skill** For me, it's difficult to watch if balloon looks like a giant carrot with legs and the valve is located where it's zipper should be.
What did you learn this week?

5 random thoughts:

Amanda said...

I can relate to the chicken and fortune cookies. In fact the latter sounds like an idea just dying to make someone filthy rich.

The most important think I learned this week is that exercise is not just for the body. The mind needs it too.

Jenners said...

I think you should market a line of kid friendly fortune cookies! And wow...you give your kids a lot! My sons school serves chicken nuggets and a soft pretzel for a full meal. Seems wrong to me. No comment on the zippers!

Kristie Maynard said...

OMG! You are too funny! I kind of suspected that you really were a princess, but now I have confirmation. LOL!
I think a line of kid friendly fortune cookies is a great idea. I have always wanted to make some of my own and haven't learned how yet. It is definatly on my Bucket List and I hope to try that soon.
This week I learned there are a lot more people interested in what is happening in England than what I had thought. Well, at least where royal weddings are concerned anyway.

TortugaRachel said...

I can honestly say I probably would have wet myself watching a coworker blow up or deflate a balloon like that in that spot!

septembermom said...

Funny about the zippers!

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kisatrtle
I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
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