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Monday, March 1, 2010

Weekend update: I need your input

Here is Oldest with her Percy Jackson cake.  It has Percy and Grover on top.  She helped make it and seemed to enjoy that.  We colored the batter blue because in the book Percy and his mom like blue food.

Tom's folks and my folks all came out to go to dinner with Oldest and to attend our high school musical--FOOTLOOSE.   My mom and step dad our not pictured because they decided not to attend the dinner. 

They brought their gigantic four month old puppy and no cage so I guess it's best if they didn't stay for dinner but this brings me to THE QUESTION...

If you are invited to dinner to celebrate your granddaughter's birthday are you expecting your child to pay for your dinner?

In other words, was it our responsibility to cover the cost of everyone invited?  Keeping in mind that we went to a pricey Japanese restaurant?

My hubby's parents gave him money for their share.  My dad and step mom said "Thanks" and offered no cash.

Is this my fault for not being more specific with the invite?

Should I have made it clear one way or the other?

If you were me how would you handle it?

If you were my dad would you have expected us to cover the cost of your dinner?

8 random thoughts:

Anonymous said...

This is a topic that always confusses me...I have no answers but am looking forward to seeing others answers.

the cake looks awesome;)

Becca said...

No way! I am not sure why he would've been under the impression that you guys were paying. The only time I would think that he should expect you to pay for their meal would be for THEIR birthdays not your daughters.

They cake turned out great! I'm glad she enjoyed making it!

Stu Pidasso said...

This is just me and bear in mind I am a fool with my money - hence, we are easily parted - I pay for it, don't look back and let it go. I might have to give up some beers at the pub with the boys or a few lattes on the way to work, but squabbling over money is just silly to me. Your time is the most precious gift you can give someone, and they were there which is the important thing.

Communication is a good idea, however, and letting it be known that all are expected to go dutch is a good idea for next time.

Happy birthday wishes to your daughter!

Scattered Scrapper said...


Just my own personal opinion but....

It was not your responsibility to pay for dinner. If things were not discussed prior to dinner (ie-who was paying,) in my family the grandparents would have either paid for the entire meal (even when their kids offered money,) or they paid for their portion.

This was a special night. You weren't just going to dinner for the heck of it. You were celebrating her birthday! At the VERY least, they could have paid for her meal.

Again, it's just my opinion, but I think it in very poor taste to not even offer money for their meal.


Janis said...

My husband's side of the family has a rule - if you invite you pay. I never was exposed to that until I met him. On my side of the family no matter who invited for what, each guest assumed and expected to pay their own way. So now, to be clear, I always will invite with "our treat" or "it's dutch & we'd love you to come," just so there is no confusion or embarrassing moments or resentment or hurt feelings. Sounds like a sticky situation you were in.

Jenners said...

I would not have expected my dinner to be covered ... only if it was my actual birthday. They should have offered ... especially when the "proper" behavior was modeled by the other grandparents.

Dan said...

It depends. How's that for a good waffle?

I usually find that it pays to make it clear what is expected, be it family or friends or even enemies.

septembermom said...

They really should have offered to pay. Yummy cake!!

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I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some meant some comments.
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