OMG!  OMG!  I can't even wrap my mind around this episode entitled Ab Aeterno which is Spanish for Eternity!  I mean OMG!  OMG!

The episode opens with Ilana telling campfire stories involving Jacob and all the good times they had together like when her face was nearly blown off and he came to visit her and tell her about all the cool candidates she needed to protect.

When Jack asked what they should do now Ilana proudly announce that Ricardo would know what to do.

Richard responded with a speech bubble over his head that said "WTF????"

Richard said "I'll tell you a little campfire story.  We are all dead.  We are all in hell.  I'm done with Jacob and I'm going to start listening to someone else."  He storms out into the jungle.

Jack, who didn't cry at all this episode, sees Hurley talking to himself in Spanish and demands to know what the hell Jacob wants now.  Hurley says "Not every episode revolves around you and your daddy issues.  This doesn't concern you."

Then we flash to many moons ago with Ricardo and his wife Isabella.  She is ill.  He promises to save her.  We all know how well that promise is going to hold out.

He rides on horseback to the doctor's house.  The doctor, like all doctors on LOST, is an ass!!  He won't give him the life saving white powder because his money and his gold cross are worthless.

Ricardo is pissed, they wrestle and, of course, he ends up dead.

He flees with the medicine only to find out he is too late.  Isabella is dead.

Ricardo is arrested for the doctor's murder and because this is the 1800s is scheduled to die tomorrow.  WTF?  He meets an endearing priest who tells him that his sins will never be forgiven.  Not sure what seminary he went to.

The morning of his death he is blindfolded and sold to someone who may or may not have been Charles Widmore.  I couldn't really tell....can anyone help me out?

He is shackled and chained and put on the black ship....Just when you thought things couldn't be worse it starts storming.  The ship crashes into THE statue on the island.  The prisoner chained beside him is insisting the statue is the devil.

Things go from bad to worse when smokey show up and kills everyone!  EVERYONE except Richard.  He thinks this is a good thing until he remains chained an unable to drink or eat anything.  I'm sure at some point he wished the smoke thing woudl come back.

As he approaches death, Isabella shows up and tells him that they are indeed in hell and that he must come with her but alas she can't free him and he sends her off to her re-death.  Odd scene number 5,456,789.

He collapse with grief, sadness and hunger when he is touched by a stranger.  I so thought it was Jacob but alas it was...


OMG!  OMG! OMG!  "Esau" tells Ricardo that he is definitely in hell and that if he ever wants to see his wife again he must kill the devil.  Out comes THE sword and Esau tells Ricardo to go and kill the man who lives in the foot of the statue.  Do not let him speak.

Ricardo says "Sure" and then gets his ass kicked by Jacob who then proceeds to sort of baptise him in the ocean.  Jacob says that Esau is like wine trapped in a bottle.  The island is the cork.  If Esau escapes the island evil will rain, but as long as the cork is there everyone is safe.

Jacob says I brought your boat hear to prove that good is alive and well.  Esau says that all have evil in them.  I say all have good in them.  Ricardo says why not just tell people what to do.  Jacob says they must choose freely.

Jacob offers him a job.  To help those he brings to the island make the right choice.  Ricardo says if I agree what do I get in return.  "Can you bring my wife back?"  No, say Jacob.  "Can you forgive me of all of my sins?"  No, says Jacob.  "Then I never want to die," says Ricardo.  "That I can do," says Jacob and he touches Ricardo's shoulder.

Ricardo returns to the place where he left Esau and hands him a white pebble. 

Esau reminds him that he will never see his wife again and should he change his mind the offer will remain.

Ricardo burries the cross necklace and says goodbye to his beloved Isabella.

Flashforward:  Richard returns to the spot and digs up the cross.  He starts screaming I've changed my mind does the offer still stand?  And he is greeted by...



Hurley...who tells him that his wife sent him and that she has a message for him.  He then begins to speak to Richard in fluent Spanish.  He tells him that it is not his fault that Isabella died.  He tells him that she is there with him.  He tells him that she wants him to close his eyes.  He does and she tells Richard that they have always been together.

I cried like a silly little girl.

Hurley then tells Richard that he must stop the man in black from leaving the island or they will all be in hell.

This episode ends with a flashback.  Jacob and Esau are sitting on a long.  Jacob hands the wine bottle to Esau and says he is disappointed to learn that Esau tried to kill him.  Esau says he just wants to leave and isn't going to stop trying.

He shatters the wine bottle.