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Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Ten Things I never thought I'd say



I started thinking the other day about all the things I say.

All the things I repeat.

Which, of course, lead me to all the things I say that I never thought I'd say...

This is just an "off the top of my head" list and by no mean constitutes a complete compliation.

  1. "Don't touch the dog's penis."
  2. "Do not kiss each other with your tongues. That is how animals kiss."
  3. "Eating things off the bottom of your shoes is not acceptable."
  4. "If you find gum under a table, it is not free candy."
  5. "Do not ever let me catch you biting your toe nails again."
  6. "The dog is not playing with you when he tries to get on your back.  Do not let him do that EVER again."
  7. "Butts just get ichy.  I do not know why."
  8. "Spongebob's friend, Patrick, is not a giant tongue.  He is a starfish."
  9. "We do not flush potatoes down the toliet.  Even if they fit in the hole, they still get stuck!"
  10. "Was whatever you just put in your mouth food?"
What are some things you've said that you never thought you would?


6 random thoughts:

Steven Anthony said...

OMG! these are way to funny...seriously your dog has problems...lmao;)

Roxane said...

LOL I can totally relate to those. Watching children makes you say crazy things like "I will never eat PB&J as long as I live, that was the most nauseating thing I ever saw in my life!"

Kimi@SoManyKids... said...

OMG I'm dying here. Too funny! It is crazy the things we have to tell our kids, right?

Saundra@ItalianMamaGoneCrazy said...

Girll... I just almost we my pants.. that was awesome!!!

Dan said...

Scaring them forever huh? (How are you going to back gracefully out of the kissing one when they hit puberty? Or will they be committed to the nunnery by then?)

I have to agree about the free candy and the potatoes - but with the Son I also added "Thou shalt not pour pails of concrete mix down the sink."

Jenners said...

OK ... these were really really funny. What the heck is going on over there? And what is up with your dog?

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kisatrtle
I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
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