Dear Toothfairy,

Thank you remembering to come to my house last night and take away middle daughter's tooth.

Lately we have had a tumultuous relationship and I attribute this to the fact that you are outrageously absent-minded.

Granted, I do not know what is going on in your personal life and perhaps you feel spread thin like butter, but forgetting to pick up a tooth on more than one occasion should have resulted in your immediate termination.

No, that is not a death threat. I'm just saying that in the "real world" forgetting to do one's job would, indeed, result in the loss of said job.

That being said, I'm glad to see that you have resumed your duties with the utmost of care.

That you are arriving promptly and not at 5:30 in the morning after being startled awake at the thought of your forgetfulness.

In short, today's tribute is all about you! Keep up the good work and remember if you forget again I'm putting your job opening on Monster.

Sincerely,

an absentminded parent