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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Dear Bitch from the Stuff-mart Parking Lot

Mama Kat's assignment this week couldn't be more pefect for me as one of the writing prompts is to write a letter to someone who annoyed you this week.  I have high hopes for this letter and by high hopes I mean that I won't need to seek out therapy because of this incident.

Dear Bitch Misunderstood woman from the Stuff-mart Parking lot:

I noticed on Monday that your parking lot driving skills really need some improvement.  I have taken it upon myself to make some minor suggestions.

  • Blocking the entire lane through the parking lot while waiting for someone to leave is NOT acceptable.  I should be able to manuver around you if I want to.
  • Your ability to sucessfully T-bone someone else in, is not my problem.  I do not need to back up so that you can let them out.  You need to PULL FORWARD!
  • Getting out of your car to scream at me while my children are with me because I won't back up on to a major through way shows your extreme inmaturity and helps me to understand the legal defination of temporary insanity.  If given a juror trial, I would have  been acquited from any bodily harm I could have inflicted upon you.
  • Should you have pulled forward, as was required, you would have gotten a better parking spot.  I know this because it is the spot we got--one away from the handicapped spot and near the front door.
In conclusion, I must reiterate that should I see you or your car again, I will have no choice but to immediately park you in and refuse to pull through the parking lot as to give you a taste of your own medicine.

Sincerely,

Pissed off woman in a minivan

9 random thoughts:

Steve said...

After reading the title, I couldn't help but read the whole post. Perhaps you should post this on craigslist, under the Missed Connections section haha

InkHearts said...

Shut up! Oh No She Di'nt!**insert head bob, eye roll and finger snap here!** LOL That is totally redonkulous! LOL!!! You should have pulled a Kathy Bates on her...you know, from Steel Magnolias? Where she smashed the girls car after they cut her off? She told them..."Face it girls, I'm older and I have more insurance!" hehehe
p.s. I KNOW you don't want to come to MY house on Super Bowl Sunday...we don't.... um... **whispering**
we don't watch football...shhhh, don't tell anybody! hehehe **resuming normal voice** Of course, you are welcome, but our house is officially a "No Football" zone!
p.s.s Do I need to call the paramedics for you after reading that? hehehe
p.s.s.s the word verification is asking me to spell "tenia"...isn't that some kind of athlete's foot or jock itch? And why is it that the guys that usually get jock itch AREN'T?

Blessings,
Shannon

MaryNSC said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!
I FEEL YOUR Want 2 smash her face .. I have been there a time r 2 n my life time also..LOLOL

Jennifer P. said...

You're right :)!---We DID write about almost the same things! If anyone's asking me-- bad drivers should all be put together on an island somewhere and made to annoy eachother!

Enfys said...

Did you know this woman takes regular vacations to the UK, in fact she was here this morning in Sainsbury's car park? Obviously a rich bitch............
hugs
Enfys xx

Wifey Dessert said...

this is so funny!!! i admit that I have alot of trouble knowing what to do in parking lots and as a matter of fact I have actually backed into someone at kroger.. i wish someone would write a book on parking lot ettiqite (sp?) but i most definately would never get out of my car to yell at anyone!! much less someone with kids in the car...

Momma said...

Stuff-Mart!!! Hahahahahahahahaha

Lacey said...

Love it. Absolutely love it.

When I find myself in situations like these, I always panic, because I hate confrontation. But then later I think of all the great things I SHOULD have said, and promise that next time I won't be so... um... deer-in-the-headlights-ish. :D

Jenners said...

I think she came over to NJ after bothering you! My husband is always cussing this lady out! But then, I think he has a temper problem.

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kisatrtle
I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
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