The pool this week was a test of my patience. In fact, this entire week was a test of my patience.

Here's why:

No means no. I heard my girls and three of their friends say "Stop it. Leave me alone" to three boys who appeared to be attempting to untie their swim tops. I about killed them. I went down to the pool and told him to swim away, to point out his mother, and to make sure I didn't see anywhere near the girls. His response was that he came to the pool alone, with friends.

Don't drop your kid at the pool. WTF? Based on the above, if you are dropping your tween off at the pool it's pretty likely that he is acting like a jackass.

You aren't the only one at the pool. You can't throw your kid a volleyball while she's jumping off of the public diving board. You keep hitting my kid and it is annoying. Like really annoying. Aren't you a grow up?

If the pool is mostly empty, the lifeguard will clean the wall. The lady who nearly sat beside me at a mostly empty pool day seemed surprised that the lifeguard wasn't in her chair. She was scrubbing the pool wall. I guess the 25 swimmers in there weren't as important as the algae.

Deflating a raft isn't as easy as it appears. I had to deflate this penguin raft so it could travel to its new home and I truly hope there isn't video. I looked ridiculous.

What did you learn this week?

Dear Neighbors,

Is that really a U-haul in your driveway?  I so hoped you would change your mind.  I so hoped that you would decide that living beside me totally outweighed everything else.  Sadly, we all have to make money and it looks like work and family trumped me.

We sure have had a lot of laughs over the years.  Whenever I'm singing along to a song in the car and I don't know the words forevermore I will always say "Watermelon."  I will never be able to hear the words "last call" without thinking, "Why is is always last call?"

When we moved in my kids were six, three and one.  I remember when C joined all the Gs.  I still have a copy of the birth announcement I made for you.  Your little one looking so angelic in that picture.

Who am I going to borrow sour cream from?  Remember when Little G. wrote a story at school about all the food we "borrow" from you and his teacher asked me if we were having problems.  That's almost as funny as the time one of the kid's convinced their teacher we were Jewish.

We've been minature golfing, hayriding, and trick or treating.  We've been to the beach, where we found your husband in a radom parking lot, we've been dancing, we've had smore-making, crab cracking, siting my the fire with a drink fun.

Who can forget all the pool days and book club?

We've watched each other kids, we've put kids on the bus, we've taking kids off the bus.  We've been each other's emergency contacts.  We even lived through the 2011 floods and the 2012 Cholrine Gas spill. 

Every time 30 Rock is on, I will think of you.

Promise me this.  You will skype us for Modern Family in the fall.  You will still participate in book club and you will come and visit. 

The thought of watching Little C grow up on Facebook doesn't seem fair.  And Middle G has taught me that things should always be fair! 

I will miss you, my friend. 

Who knows, I may drive two hours just for some sour cream.

Best wishes on your new adventure!

~kisa~

P.S. Why do my kids always give me black hair? Do I have black hair?

I love me some Kenny Chesney. I mean what's not to like.

I also love me some Pittsburgh. I grew up not far from "the burgh" and I still love that city. So imagine my disappointment to learn that the Chesney fans that attended his recent Pittsburgh concert left nearly 60,000 pounds of garbage behind. This does not include the recyclables.

Really?

I spend countless hours a year telling little kids to be mindful of their trash. I explain to them, that while dropping it means they don't have to clean it up, it doesn't mean that no one has to pick it up.

According to Leroy Stotler Jr., president of Three Rivers Power Sweep in Apollo, it took his crew nearly 15 hours to cleanup.

He said the mess of half-eaten food, warm beer, couches, portable pools and other refuse was about five times that for an average Steelers game.

“People make their own toilets. Lots of those. Five-gallon buckets and cardboard boxes.” said Stotler, whose company leads the cleanup operation. “I'll leave that up to your imagination.”

I don't know about you but I just vomited.

I realize that concerts are big money makes and that the city collected nearly $500,000 in tax revenue. That being said, I don't care how much you spent on tickets, or alcohol, or transportation. Leaving a bucket of your shit in a parking lot takes disrespectful to an entirely different level.

The 100 of you arrested are even bigger assholes. In case you forgot, you can't hear the concert in prison.

Before my inbox is flooded with those of you in attendance who didn't so much as drop a gum wrapper, good for you. The world needs more people like you. But that makes what the other 20 percent of you did even more disturbing.

Pick up your own trash.

Keep your hands to yourself.

And if you can't drink without becoming an asshole, put in a CD and stay the hell home.

Dear Paula,

I'm not really sure what to say. Quite frankly, you've said quite enough.

You should first and foremost STOP TALKING and by all means when you talk to Matt Lauer on Wednesday try to look at least a little bit sincere.

I don't know who did the shotty editing on your first apology video that was almost immediately pulled, but I hope you fired them. My 12 year old could have done a better job.

This looks like a hostage video. This is the video of a desperate person but the problem is I can't tell if your desperately seeking actual forgiveness or if your desperately seeking the salvation of your brand.

I've read an annoying amount of coverage on this including this USA Today piece that clearly reveals exactly what Paula Deen said.

It's one thing to forgive a southern senior for an offensive slur but what you are quoted as saying isn't exactly that. Is it Paula?

Did you really say in your deposition about your racist comments that "It’s just what they are — they’re jokes ... most jokes are about Jewish people, rednecks, black folks ... gays or straights, black, redneck, you know, I just don't know — I just don't know what to say...I can’t, myself, determine what offends another person.”

You need better friends. I would clearly of indicated my offense.

Let's also talk about this "southern plantation wedding". Since you seemed incapable of determining what is offensive let me help you out. Young black servants at a wedding dressed like slaves? AYFKM? That's not just offensive, that's a deal breaker as evidenced by the companies trying to shake your racism off of their brand before they are tainted by association.

Howard Bragman, vice chairman of Reputation.com thinks you'll survive but you'll never be whole again. Bragman went on to say that when your obituary is written, this will be a significant part of it.

Ouch.

It's now your footnote and it isn't looking like you're gonna shake it anytime soon.

I'll watch your Wednesday interview in one form or another but I honestly can't fully convey my disappointment.

Adults should know what's offensive and what isn't.

Sincerely,

Kisa

It's that time of the year again.

That time when most of my days are spent lounging about at the pool and leisurely reading my book. That last sentence actually made me laugh out loud.

Let me rephrase.

It's that time of the year when I spend countless hours packing lunches that are never enough food to feed everyone. That time of the year when the number one rule is no drowning. That time of the year when my husband and I revive our debate about spray vs. lotion sunscreen. That time of the year when there are more inflatables in my car than children.

It's pool season.

Here's what we learned this week.

It's never too cold to get in the water. My son cannonballed into the pool last week when I'm sure water temps couldn't possibly have been much higher than 60 degrees. I thought for sure that he ruptured his eardrum because he couldn't hear for 24 hours after the jump.

Beetles can fly. I'm not sure why the grown adult woman sitting near me felt compelled to "rescue" beetle after beetle from the surface if the pool. However, she did entertain me for a short while until it just became super weird for me.

The green carpet of death has been removed. Because of badly poured concrete our pool owner thought concealing it with a fake grass green carpet was a good idea. That thing was a breeding ground for anthrax. It was so foul that I wouldn't let my kids walk on it and on more than one occassion I saw others letting their kids lie on it. I had to stop typing to vomit. I'm happy to report that the concrete has been repaired and the green carpet of death has been removed.

It's never to early in the season for some crack. Come on people. You can't tell me that you are unaware that your ass is showing. Pull up your pants. Or I'm just gonna start spraying sunscreen on it as a public service.

Cups. If you wanna save some money, skip the pool toys and bring some cups. Plain old plastic cups or even colorful disposible cups. Kids cannot resist them. It's like magic.

I recently heard the term facebragging and thought "AYFKM?"

Is this really something we should label? After careful thought and a quick scan through my own newsfeed, I reconsidered.

Facebragging is an epidemic and we need to stop it before we all turn into Molly Parker. She takes facebragging to whole new level.

Let's make a pact to end this nonsence.

We all know you're proud of your kid's grades. You don't have to post it. You might be surprised to learn this but we are ALL proud of our kids EVEN WHEN THEIR GRADES AREN'T PERFECT.

There is no such thing as a perfect life. Stop pretending yours is.

Someone should have told you a while ago that people respond better to people who keep it real.

I don't want to see pictures of your child carrying his potty chair filled with urine. Most kids figure out this skill or else their prom date brings them home A LOT earlier than agreed upon.

Facebragging works the other way too. Stop writing things like, "Will anyone miss me when I'm gone?" That's a baiting status. You are trolling for comments reassuring your worth. If you need to do this, you really should consider paying for therapy.

I guess, like me, you are wondering what isn't considered facebragging. I can hear you in the distance faintly saying, "Just what then can I post about? If you don't want to know about my perfect SAT score or the successful removal of my gall bladder at home by me, then I just don't know what to type."

Here's what I know about that.

You shouldn't post anything that includes words 'scary', 'spooky', 'haunted', 'forbidden' or 'hydroponic'. (Bonus points if you can guess that movie reference.)

Basically, just keep right on posting as if you'd never heard the term facebragging and I'll keep on blocking you.

It's either that or I'll be forced to copy your status word for word and post it as my own, tagging you in it.

My status today: I'm so proud of myself for ridding the world completely of facebragging. It's hard to be as awesome as me.