Lately I feel like I'm on this show but when I wait for John Quinones to show up...he doesn't.

Here are just a few examples.

You are in a soon to be crowded lunch room when you notice someone's ass crack is hanging out.

What do you do?  Tell them or not tell them.

Remember they are a stranger and maybe they like their ass crack hanging out.

You are in the grocery store when the lady in front of you decides to pay with all quarters.  Seriously?  Who does that?

On your way to work you get behind someone who is either a) completely intoxicated at 8 a.m. b) lost or c) the world's most incompentent driver.  Do you honk or just turn up your music?

You are at a meeting for which you dressed like you were attending a meeting.  You realize that most of the other woman are dressed like they are 22 and going dancing at a club.  You try to recall the last time you purchased pantyhose, let alone pantyhose with obnoxious designs?

Do you realize you are the only intellegent one in the room or do you stop at Walmart on the way home and pick up checkered pantyhose, 1/5 of maddog and a squirt three sizes to small?
You are forced to work a substitute who continually pulls her pants up and blows her nose while wearing disposable gloves.  She apparently believe the gloves harbor some germ shield.  Hello!  Change your damn gloves!!!
What would you do?

Have you ever seen this show?  It's called What Would You Do? and it basically puts people in awkward situations and secretly videotapes them to see what you would do. 

For example, I have seen episodes where a little boy is begging his dad for a Barbie and he is having a nervous breakdown about it.  I have seen episodes where an asshole slips something into his dates drink while she is in the bathroom and the cameras patiently wait to see if anyone will tell her.  I have seen the episode where they make it appear that there is a tiny infant locked in a hot car.

Quite frankly, this show is disturbing on many levels and yesterday I was convinced that I was on an episode.

I can't be sure if I am happy or disappointed that I wasn't.

Here is the scenario...

I am at a public pool with my kiddos.  My kiddos are swimming and I am relaxing in my beach chair, sharing a quiet moment with some friends.

Enter young mother with two children.  One child is around 3 and the other is a tiny baby, no more than 6 months old.  Young mother walks down to the pool edge directly in front of us and lifts her toddler into the water.  Then she get out one of these, which may or may not have been recently recalled.


She puts her baby in the float AND LAYS DOWN ON HER TOWEL NEXT TO THE POOL AND STARTS TEXTING ON HER PHONE.

Are you kidding me?

You aren't going to get in the water?

You are just gonna let your baby, who is now leaning precariously to one side just float around in the public pool? 

I am about to fight her when it dawns on me that she is a beautiful, 20-something, multi-pierced Latino who could easily kick my ass.  I do what any reasonable out of shape, approaching 40 year-old person would do.  I told the lifeguard on her.

He seems equally aghast, along with multiple people along the pool side.  Two older women directly behind us, had their hands over their mouths.  One gentleman near us was standing ready to act, if needed, once that baby flipped the raft.

The sweet lifeguard walked over and told her that she MUST be in the water with her children and that she can't be more than an arms length from her infant. 

When her paramour arrived I was sitting on the edge of the pool and overheard this conversation.

"That lifeguard is such a dickhead.  He told me I needed to be in the water WITH the baby.  I mean, I was sitting right there the entire time.  She's in a G**DAMN float.  What does he think is gonna happen?"

He thinks she's gonna drown and you should too!

Mama Kat wants to know if you could do it over what would you do?

Hard question.

After reading all the input she received from Twitter, my original answer seems kind of lame but I'm going with it anyway.

I'd name my blog something else.

Something a little shorter.

Something that doesn't have KKK as it's initials.

Something like....

Crap I like to Make, Adventures in Lunch Lady Land, Talking to myself, The Voices in My Head, Thisblognameiseasytoremember, Me and Them, Trapped in Craftopia, What's for Lunch?, Can I have peas with that?, Pass the Whine, Cafeteria Gazzette....

Lady Ga Ga probably feels the same way, but since we're both world famous now I guess we're stuck with our first thought.

If you could do something over....what would it be?