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Friday, August 12, 2011

Poolside Perspective: what I learned (week 7)

Make Your Own Swimsuit. Ok...this suit scares me. Does it really have a zipper and a button? How does that work when it is wet. Um...wouldn't your reason for making a swimsuit be more along the lines of modesty. So why a two piece. I am just confused.

Gender confusion. I realize that longer hair on boys is in style and can be done in a very cute, not confusing sort of way. In fact, I would love my hubby to let his hair shag out a little, but alas he refuses. That being said, if your elementary age son has hair down to his ass and multiple people gasp when he gets in the pool because they think your daughter has lost her shirt it might be time to reconsider the hair style.

You can't protect them from everything. I am not a big fan of this contraption. Wow. I mean it goes around the waist and attaches to the arms and who knows where else. Um...what do you think is gonna happen? Here's what I have seen happen...your boy trips before he even makes it to the water because you thought givinig him a noodle in addition to this contraption was an even better idea and now both of his legs are bloody. Smart. Very smart.

It ain't that cold. B and I watched a grown women get into the pool this week and make a face as if she had just stepped into water in the artic. She didn't just make the face once, but multiple times as she walked deeper attempting to adjust to the artic temps. Um...seriously...it's August. How cold can it be?

Don't try to creep me out. I had a stalker at the pool this week. He wouldn't stop staring at my friend S and I. We figured his staring was for one of three reasons. Either it was because he could clearly see up her skirt, he heard about "the incident" at the lake when my swim top flopped open or he hoped that I might decide to put sunscreen all over my friend. Hey creepy...go watch someone else....

In conclusion, we learned that we should never make our own swimsuit no matter how on sale the fabric is, kids can hurt themselves even when wrapped in bubble tape, if people don't know the gender of your child then you should consider cutting his hair, the water can't be cold-as-the-artic in August and if you're gonna blantantly stare, at least put on sunglasses.

11 random thoughts:

David Allen Waters said...

I laughed so hard about the boy and long hair I may or may not have peed just a bit... lol

Kristie Maynard said...

I think I need to get out more, I'm not learning near as much as you are.

DeepBlue said...

Me too, the Gender Confusion was a hoot, it's a good thing I wasn't drinking coffee...
I've learned few years ago never to convert an old pair of mickey mouse briefs into a swimsuit... and I don't think I want to share any more details on that one... All I can say is that at least, I didn't sport my stuff at a public pool, but simply a private beach is not always... private!
Hugs
Jon

Amanda said...

The Gender Confusion happened to me recently. I'm used to seeing teenagers with long hair but not grade school boys.

It has also happened the other way around, meaning the boy was actually a girl.

Now I'll have to let you in a secret and hope you wont think less of me.

My bikini top is actually a bra. I could not find a (one or two piece) swimming suit that does those difficult girls justice. BUT the color and material are such that nobody can tell.

So I really understand people who look for alternatives, it's just that they are doing it wrong.

kt moxie said...

I hate those contraptions! Not only are they weird, but they are far from safe. People think those things "help" their kids swim, but they really just impede movement and look... well... stupid. Thanks for the giggles -- yet again!

septembermom said...

This would be a great series of articles for Woman's Day or a similar women's magazine. I love them! Too funny about the gender confusion. I can't tell you how many times my boys will ask whether someone is a boy or girl.

Pat said...

I don't understand the whole thing about long hair on young boys, either! Kate Hudson and Celine Dion both have boys with long hair and I think, "WHY"?

And thanks for the heads up about the homemade bathing suit. Now I know to leave mine at home.

KIDDING!!

Karen Peterson said...

Why would anyone make their own swimsuit? To me, it's just not worth the effort.

vinobaby said...

The lady who owned our house before us was a swimsuit seamstress (we later found out it was more "adult" costumes). So I would never trust a homemade swimsuit.

And I hate those tube things as well. I am a major proponent of teaching your kids to swim instead.

Loved the topless "girl" bit. I've seen that--creepy.

Dropping by from TRDC. Cheers.

letmestartbysaying said...

And this is why I never go to the pool. With all this stuff to observe, how would I ever actually keep an eye on my kids?
Came from TRDC linkup.

Jenners said...

It would never occur to me to make my own swimsuit ... and with a zipper??!!!

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kisatrtle
I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
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