Storybrook:

This season opens in storybrook right where last season ended. Magic is coming. I had high expectations for this episode and it really fell flat for me.

The purple smoke arrives and suddenly everyone remembers who they are. Hugs abound. Old wounds, like the fact that Charming thought you capable of cold blooded murder, are forgotten.

A super cheesy moment between Charming and Snow and Emma occurs that concludes with Henry calling them grandma and grandpa. Gag.

Dr. Hopper aka jiminy cricket come running asking for help. Please stop the angry mob from killing Regina. Seriously?

Our fearless threesome agrees to save the evil queen. Why? We're not sure. It looks like Dr. Whale is the most upset but again the reason behind that seems unclear. Oddly, even though everyone's memories have returned. Regina's magic seems to still be missing.

Emma remands Regina to custody and puts her in the only jail cell in town.

Meanwhile, Belle has been reunited with Rumple who is overjoyed with the prospect of having her around again. He is harboring a deep hatred for Regina and hopes to seek revenge. Belle doesn't want him to hurt anyone.

Rumple promises but then concocted a plan that would allow him to bring a dementor to town to suck the soul out of Regina. Seriously? What fairy tale is this?

Rumple digs out a spooky charm and heads over to the jail where he puts the charm in Regina's hand and tells her that she'll now get what she deserves.

Regina is marked and now waits for her soul to be sucked. When the dementor arrives Snow, charming and Emma fight it off and the. The four of them devise a plan to send it back.

This plan involves the mad hatters hat, Regina's inability to do magic unless Emma touches her and really bad CG. It ends with Snow and Emma being sucked into the vortex too and landing in the fairy tale land.

Meanwhile back in fairy tale land...

Mulan looks like she wants to run a few people through. Starting with Sleeping Beauty. The opening scene shows a stranger receiving a letter simply stating "broken".

We then join Phillip and Mulan at the bedside of SB. Sleep is about to be kissed by Phillip and Mulan, although her face is concelled, appears agitated.

Shortly after the kiss of life, the threesome are attacked by a dementor. Great. More bad CG.

Philip becomes marked by the same bracelet that marked Regina. He knows his time is limited. He attempts to lead the women back to safety but soon realizes that he must leave them

There's a lot of making out and why not? Did you see Prince Philip?

After sticking his tongue down SBs throat, he goes off into the forest to pretend to gather firewood but we all know he's going to meet his fate with the dementor.

Mulan isn't about to sit around and let this happen even if she knows that Phillip will never stick his tongue down her throat.

She leaves SB behind and try's to find Phillip. SB follows. Great. Just what we need to make the battle complete--a girl in a dress.

Philip gets his soul sucked and Mulan and SB return to the castle just in time for the arrival of Emma and snow.

Tune in next week to find out if this is going to get better or not...

What did you think if the first episode?

In STORYBROOK

The show opens with Regina dreaming of a lynch mob that included all of our favorite characters. Henry tells her, as she is strapped to her dying apple tree,that she did this to herself and then Emma says "Off with her head".

That will wake ya up!

Regina visits with Gold who tells her that while he is sorry about her dilemma (mostly Emma), he cannot help. She cannot take her out or the curse will be broken. In essence, just like in her dream, her hands are tied.

Regina puts a white rabbit card on Paige's bike, who I thought was named Grace in STORYBROOK, and the Mad Hatter returns. Jefferson visits with Regina who offers him a deal. A trip back to their world and then upon their return she will let Grace remember him. He says no. She doesn't remember, he forget. Done. Deal.

So after scrounging up some magic, including the ring Daniel gave her. They are able to activate the hat just enough to retrieve a poisonous apple. This was slightly past my realm of believability but I am willing to go with it.

August has giving up. He is slowly becoming wooden again. He shows Henry and tells him that he plans on spending whatever time he has left with Marco, his dad.

After having a true mother and daughter spat, Emma seeks council from Dr. hopper, which strikes me as odd, but he tells her that she doesn't stand a chance trying to take Henry from Regina.

Emma decides to leave. She offers a parlay of sorts to Regina, who graciously agrees to allow her to remain in Henry's life. Regina gives her an apple tart as a going away present. A poisonous apple tart.

Henry comes over to see Emma at her house and Emma tells him she must go. Henry says why won't you believe. He warns her about the tart. She doesn't listen. He tells her that he didn't want it to come to this but it has too and he eats the tart.

Henry collapses.

In FAIRYTALE land

James is captured by King George. It looks like he is about to be beheaded, but at the last moment the guillotine is turned into water by the EQ. She offers whatever Midas would have given the kingdom and more.

Why? Asks George. So he can help me destroy Snow White.

Snow has quite the army of misfits. There is Granny and Red and all the dwarfs. At one point she has all the fairies in the land and they decide to rescue James.

Of course, it is a trap and after some much cheesy fighting scenes, Snow reaches Charming James in the prison, but alas he isn't there. It is just him in the EQs magic mirror.

The queen offers a parlay and tells Snow to meet her where it all began. They meet at the stable and she tells snow that Daniel is dead and that it remains her fault. Snow is shocked. She says, you took my father. Can we call it even. EQ says no. We can't. Se offers her the same poisonous apple that is later retrieved by Jefferson.

Eat this and remain trapped in your body forever or I will kill your true love. Um... Are those my only choices?

Just like the traditional fairy tale, Snow eats the fruit and collapses.

Next week is the series finale... What will become of Henry?

This week's episode was chocked full of one revelation after another.

IN FAIRYTALE LAND

Pinocchio and Geppeto are out on the ocean and about to get eaten by a whale. Pinocchio graciously gives up the life vest to save his father. When the duo washes onto the shore the blue fairy arrives and makes him a real boy.

The duo are working on a clock when the blue fairy returns and tells him of the impending doom known as the curse. Geppeto is asked to make a vessel to save the Charming's and their unborn child.

He is concerned about what will become of pinocchio if the curse comes to be. Will he be made of wood again. The blue fairy doesn't know. Seriously? She can make wood into flesh but she doesn't know what will happen to the boy?

Geppeto says he will only make the waredrobe if Pinocchio can travel in it too. The blue fairy agrees and we see a recap of the round table when the plan is revealed. However upon completion, the blue fairy says pinocchio cannot go because the baby is already arriving. Snow White must go with her to raise her and guide her,

Geppeto says no. Pinocchio will go and he makes the boy promise to care for her and to teach her how to believe in magic. Pinocchio agrees and Jiminy says he cannot fail as long as he is brave, truthful and unselfish. Oh that sounds like a piece of cake for a seven year old!

Both Pinocchio and Emma burst through a tree in our world. The little boy then takes Emma to safety and ends up in foster care with her. They, of course, live in the worst possible place (it is Disney after all) and Pinocchio decides to run away with the other boys. He tries to take Emma with them but the older boys veto the plan. He says he is sorry and kisses her goodbye.

IN STORYBROOK

August continues his annoying crazy man pleas to get Emma to believe in magic and it is starting to appear like he might be spending too much time in the mushroom garden. He continues to have pain in his leg and when he pulls up his pant leg we see why... He is turning back to wood. He's freaking pinocchio. He is, indeed, looking for his father and he didn't lie to the nuns last week.

Conveniently, Henry finds out that the story of Pinocchio has been added to the book of fairytales but the ending has been left off.

August meets up with Gold in his pawn shop just as Marco aka Geppeto is leaving and gold asks him why he didn't say anything to his father. August asks Gold to trust him and he says that given who you are, that is a lot to ask.

Gold tells August that he will nudge Emma in his direction and when she comes to him seeking legal representation to take Henry away from Regina he declines. She storms off and seeks out August who promised to show he how to win.

He takes her to the tiny diner outside of STORYBROOK where she was found as an infant and tells her that he is the seven year old boy who brought her there. This is a twist I hadn't seen coming.

Meanwhile, MM has returned to teaching. Henry tells his mother off. She decides to attempt and fail at seducing David who continues to be one of the biggest dorks on the show.

August pleads with Emma to believe him. He found her near this tree and not on the road. They came from a magic land. He is, indeed, a character in Henry's book. He is Pinocchio.

She says she cannot wrap her head around this. He tells her he was halfway around the word ignoring the promise he made to his father when at 8:15 the day she arrived in STORYBROOK he got a very painful reminder.

He tries to show her his wooden leg, but she cannot see it.

She tells him she does not want to be responsible for everyone's happiness. She tells him that she just wants to make things right with Henry.

In a very touching moment, August shows up at Marco's shop while he is attempting to fix the very clock he taught Pinocchio to fix so many years ago.

He shouts out to him how to fix it and Marco asks, "how did you know that?"

"My father taught me," he replies.

"He must be very proud of you," says Marco.

"I don't think so. He counted on me to do something and even though I tried I think it is too late."

"You realized your mistake and you tried to fix it," said Marco, " Your father would understand."

August offers to work for Marco and is told that he cannot pay him. August says, "That's ok...I just want to fix things."

In the worst ending of all time, Emma attempts to flee STORYBROOK with Henry.

Has she lost her mind?

Once Upon a Time returned last night and it was worth the wait. 

IN STORYBROOK:

August appears to be ill.  He is coughing and having trouble getting up.  He clearly needs a doctor but instead goes to see Henry.

He convinces Henry to distract Mr. Gold while he looks for something.  What he s looking for remains a mystery. 

Meanwhile, back at the house Mary Margaret is home and the entire town has forgiven her for being a whore now that she is not a murderer.  They are all at her house and bringing gifts and eating food.  It's sort of ridiculous.

Kathryn remembers nothing accept being locked in a mysterious basement and being given food.  She was released in a field and hiked her way back.  Regina is clearly pissed about the entire situation and feels like Gold broke their deal.

He tells her that he has only broken one deal in his entire life and it was not the deal she is talking about.

David continues to be one of the hottest and most idiotic characters on the show.  I like him much better in fairytale land where he is sure of himself and not a moron.  He visits Kathryn and tells her how wonderful she is and attempts to attend MM homecoming but he isn't invited.

Later the duo have a scene together that is reminiscent of a Hallmark Movie and kind of nauseating.  "I thought you were the one person who would always be there for me when you weren't with your wife...blah blah blah."  I don't really like these two together.

Gold breaks into August's apartment and finds a sketch of the knife that can kill Rumpelstiltskin.  Curiouser and Curiouser.  I mean how in the world does August know about that?  Could he be Rumple's son, Bay?

Gold follows August to a convent where he learns he is wrestling with the decision to reveal himself to his father.  Maybe he really is August.

The have a confrontation.  August calls him papa.  There is an awkward hug and then things get really weird.  They dig up the sword together and August tries to summon the dark lord.  Um...seriously?  Rumples says if he were Bay then he would know that there is no magic in this world.

August says he needs magic because he is sick.

In a rather unsurprising twist, Sydney confesses to kidnapping and holding Kathryn hostage.  He claims he did so he could get the inside story but it is clear that he is lying to protect Regina, whom he still loves.

IN FAIRYTALE LAND

We are given some more background into Bay and Rumpelstiltskin's life.  After Rumple becomes the dark lord, Bay begins to loathe him.  He brings fear in everyone and because of that fear people are also afraid of Bay.

After a minor accident, Rumple kills the man who bruised Bay's leg.  After the maid overhears them talking about the sword, he kills her. 

Bay makes Rumple promise that if he finds a way to save him without killing him that Rumple will take it.  Rumple agrees.

Bay visit the RuleGollum also known as the blue fairy who gives him a magic seed that grows into a beanstalk.  Oh...wait...wrong fairytale.  This bean grows into a wormhole that will take the person willing to travel it to a world with no magic.

Rumple backs out on his deal and Bay goes through the wormhole alone.

Immediately Rumple regrets the decision and goes to the blue fairy demanding another wormhole seed.  She simple doesn't have any others.

Rumple learns that a curse can take him to the place where his son is and he vows to figure out how to conjure it.

This week we final learn just why Regina hates Snow and quite frankly, it's a little justified.

IN STORYBROOK:

It opens with Regina fiddling with a simple ring and we flashback a week and hear how she and Gold came up with a devious plan to get rid of Kathryn.

Back in the present, David whines a lot about Mary Margaret, Regina spends what too much time mocking MM and I continue to be amazed by the fact that Emma gets paid to be a Sheriff.

Sydney brings Emma flowers because he has nothing else to offer. Gold sets up a pretrial interview with the DA who happens to be King George or Charles Widmore depending on the show.

August tells Emma that when he gets writer's block he starts at the beginning and retraces his steps. She heads back to the dig where Ruby unearthed Kathryn's heart. She finds a piece of a shovel. She and August break into Regina's house and located the broken shovel. Like any good sheriff, she returns the next day with a warrant.

The shovel has been replaced.

She accuses August of being a traitor, but finds out Sydney is the traitor. She located a bug in the flowers he brought her.

Mary Margaret apologizes to Regina saying that she is sorry for whatever she has done to her. Apology not accepted.

In a major turn of events, just as MM was headed to court Kathryn is found alive in the alley.

IN FAIRYTALE land....

Regina is actually likeable and somewhat friendly and nice. Her mother on the other hand is pure evil. Regina is in love with Daniel, the stable boy. She is afraid to tell her mother.

I can't say I blame her as she is a wicked sorceress with a very bad temper.

Maxine from Wizards of Waverly Place comes barreling through her land on a runaway horse. Regina saves her.

Because she saves her, the king proposes. We learn that Maxine is really Snow White, the motherless daughter of King Leopold (whom I just love). Regina's mother accepts on her behalf and Regina is devastated. After all her true love, the stable boy, has not yet been capture by the dread pirate Roberts.

Regina rushes off to tell Daniel they must flee. Snow witness this and is very upset. Regina consoles her and tells her some ridiculously Disney-like crap about true love and how love is the most powerful magic of all and it creates happiness.

Honestly, I gagged a little.

Snow promises she will never tell anyone that Regina loves Daniel, but her cuteness is no match for Regina's evil mother, who gets the truth out of Snow after just one commercial break.

Regina's mother pulls Daniel's heart from his chest while Regina looks on. She tells her that love is weakness and that power endures.

Snow is surprised to learn that Regina is now marrying her father. She tells Snow that Daniel ran off and that she is surprised to realize she does, indeed, love King Leopold. Snow is happy. Snow tells her that she knew her mother would understand about how love works and Regina realizes the child did not keep her promise.

She has been dreaming of making her pay ever since.

We are on hiatus until April 22nd but return with a little more info on Rumple and the mysterious, yet oh so sexy, August.

Last night's episode introduced Jefferson, a slight twist on the traditional Mad Hatter:

IN STORYBROOK

Mary Margaret flees and is captured and imprisoned by Jefferson, who apparently lives in a giant mansion that no one knows about in the middle of the forest.

Henry thinks the escape is all part of Emma's "genius plan" and is slightly disappointed to learn that not only is his mother not a genius, she is a little slow.  I mean she almost runs a guy over on a dark and rainy street and then she offers him a ride home.  And then she goes inside his house and they she accepts a cup of poisioned tea.  I mean...WORST.  SHERIFF.  EVAH...

Emma uses her McGuire skills to escape and is sneaking down the hallway while Jefferson sharpens scissor in a very creepy way.  She ducks into a room and happens to find MM.  Really?  She's all tied up and looking desperate.

The women try to escape but like traditional Disney Damsels they are once again apprehended and Emma is instructed to "Get the Hat to work".  Um...can you be a little more specific.

Jefferson goes on to tell her that Henry's book is indeed real.  That a little girl named Paige that goes to school with Henry is really Jefferson's daughter Grace.  That he has been trapped in Storybrook for 28 years.  Until she arrived all time had stopped.  That she has magic and that she must make the hat work.

Emma, of course, considers him to be mad but convinces him that she believes his ludicrous tale.  That she, too, believes in this curse and that she even thinks that MM is her mother.  Just as we too start to believe that Emma is sold on the story, she whacks Jefferson with a big stick and runs to save her mom MM.

It's starting to look promising for the women until Jefferson returns.  More fighting.  Gun pointing and then MM knocks him out the window.  All that is left of him...his hat.

Emma gives MM the chance to flee.  She doesn't.  Regina and Gold are not impressed.  They appear to be working together to convict MM.  Why?  Unclear at this time.


IN FAIRYTALE LAND

Jefferson and Grace seem to be a happy father and daughter.  They like playing in the forest and collecting mushrooms.  One day the EQ decides to visit.  Jefferson sends his daughter off to frolic while he visits with the Queen.

She propositions him.  She tells him that someone has stolen something from her and that she must get it back.  She tells him to stop "foraging for fungi" and to help her.  She promises to make it worth his while.

Jefferson stands his ground.  No.  He is happy with his daughter and with his mushrooms.  He eludes to losing her mother, but doesn't elaborate. 

The queen leaves and the couple head to the market.  Grace wants a stuffed rabbit but Jefferson is unable to purchase it because he doesn't have enough money.  He tries making her the bunny, but is unhappy with his sewing skills. 

Grace seems much wiser than Jefferson.  She tells him that all she needs is him, yet he insists on sending her to the neighbors and doing one last job for the Queen.

In true LOST fashion he takes his hat to the Queen and black smoke comes spewing out of it and the Queen and Jefferson jump into the black hole.  The enter Wonderland through the looking class and he reminds the Queen that two go in and two must go back out.

Wonderland is a little CG for my likes but still clever.  The queen of hearts remains and enigma.  She apparently stole the EQ's father and locked him in a box.  EQ steals him back, has him eat a mushroom and then he and EQ jump through the looking glass leaving Jefferson stranded in Wonderland. 

In both worlds he is separated from his daughter.  No wonder he is mad.

The EQ beheads him but oddly he doesn't die.  Instead she insists that he make her a magic hat and that once he does he will garner his freedom.

At the end of the episode we see him surrounded by hats that don't work and we sort of feel sorry for him.

NEXT WEEK:  More on why the Evil Queen hates Snow White.

Last night's episode wasn't as fantastic as last week's Red-handed, but it was still impressive.  First, I have to say that Ginnifer Goodwin is an excellent actress and it is great to see her on a show that is showcasing her talents.

While I love her as the porcelain perfect Snow, I liked her even more in tonight's episode when she was fighting with her dark side.

IN STORYBROOK

Mary Margaret is arrested and booked and placed is the only jail cell in the county.  I'm surprised they didn't make her wear an orange jumpsuit and pick up trash.

Evidence is piling up against her.  I mean there's the whole dead woman's heart in her jewelry box and then Emma tries to prove her innocence and unearths a large murder weapon conveniently stowed away in a heating duct. 

Of course, it doesn't help that Regina is sitting in on the questioning.  How about the part when Regina tries to get a confession out of her by saying "Losing someone I loved changed me." and "A broken heart can make people do unspeakable things."

The recurring theme of the episode appears to be that Evil isn't born it is made.  That line was said in both Storybrook and Fairytale land.  Do you agree?

David continues to try to be Mary Margaret's savior.  This time he decides that he will go to Dr. Hopper and be hypnotized into remembering what he can't remember.  When this works too well and he sees flashes of his former life he mixes up those memories and thinks that just maybe MM did kill Kathryn.  Oh David.  You are an idiot.  Are you really going to ask her?

Yep.  He is.  And she is pissed.

Meanwhile, Mr. Gold offers his legal services because as we've all come to realize all scummy character's have law degrees.  MM tells him she can't pay him and he says that's okay, "I'm invested in your future."

Later, MM finds one of those skeleton keys that open all doors and decides to flee.  This is after Henry finds those same keys in his mom's house and tells Emma that Regina used them to set up MM. 

In a totally out of place scene, August, our mysterious stranger tells Henry that he believes all the answers are in the book  He tells Henry that some people need proof but that other's can rely on faith.

My favorite scene is when David goes to Regina and says "With all due respect, I don't think you know much about evil." To which Regina replies, "Evil doesn't always look evil."

IN FAIRYTALE LAND

James continues to look for Snow who has taken the potion given to her by Rumpelstiltskin and has morphed into a rather bitchy kind of person.  I loved when she tried to take the bluebird out.  Priceless.

The dwarfs stage and intervention of sorts and tell her that they are tired of her cooking and cleaning and killing all the bugs.  She has changed.  She is EVIL.

Jiminy Cricket tries to intercede on her behalf imploring that she find a conscience that she stop taking her anger out on his cousins and her poor dwarf friends.  Snow concedes and agrees to take her anger our on the queen. 

She tosses on a cloak and heads out to kill the queen.

Grumpy, who you think would be down with this kinds of plan, follows her and pleads with her to stop.  Knock it off. 

He tells her that he will take her to Rumple and that perhaps they can return her to her old state.

Rumple is not all that impressed with Snow until he learns that she is not interested in remembering what he has helped her to forget.  She is only interested in getting his help in killing the queen.

He is eager to help.  He provides her with a bow and arrow that will not miss and tells her where to take the shot from.  It cost her nothing because he is vested in her future.

James learns of this plan and confronts Rumple.  Rumple tells him that for the price of his cloak he will tell James where Snow is but that she is truly evil.  "How can she remember you when she has lost sight of who she really is?" Rumple tells him nothing can stop it save one thing...true love.

ugh...so Disney.

James leave without his cloak and finds Snow.  She doesn't know him.  He kisses her and she slaps him.  Loved that.  She is not in love with him so the spell is not broken.  They argue more and then she decides she has had enough.  It is time to kill the queen.  She fires but James dives in front of the arrow.

Intrigued she asks why he would do that and he says he would rather die than let her heart fill with darkness.  So she kisses him.  And the spell is broken.

They are free to skip and dance and frolic in the forest  

James is captured by King Midas's men and Snow left to return to the dwarfs.  Again...so close yet so far away.  The episode ends with Rumple plucking a hair off of Charming's cloak and placing it in a bottle with Snow's hair.  The hairs love each other and apparently we are left to believe that Rumple has bottled love.

Would you consider taking a love potion?

Next week:  The mad hatter.  Love me some Alice and Wonderland!

This week's episode was packed full of details making recapping the event somewhat difficult.


In Storybrook:


David became synopsis with liar, liar, pants on fire.  He learns from Kathryn that she has applied and been accepted to law school in Boston.

His reaction is to go for a walk with Mary Margaret.  MM decides to pull out the honest card because we all know that people having a heated affair think about honesty A LOT.  She implores David to tell Kathryn that he cannot go to Boston.  He says OK, but we all have our doubts.

Meanwhile we learn that being a biker and a writer is a plausible combination and the name of our mystery writer is indeed...August Wayne Booth.  Um....at least he didn't say John Wilkes Booth.

He invites Emma for a drink and hauls her off to some enchanted wishing well where they can get water from a magic lake.  "If you drink from it, something that is lost will be returned to you."

Hmmm...tempting.

We are privy to a scene in which August is carefully drying and rebounding a book.  Could it be THE book of stories that Henry is missing?

Sure enough after drinking from the wishing well the book just finds Emma underneath her car.  It appears August had something to do with it.  His role in this story is still quite a mystery to me.

David encourages Kathryn to go to Boston but fails to mention why he cannot go with her.  He every so charmingly tells her that he doesn't want to hold her back.  I threw up in my mouth a little.

Kathryn goes to visit her BFF...oh wait...she doesn't have any friends so she goes to see Regina who promptly lies to her and says Sydney took pictures of MM and David and she is "Oh so sorry"  Kathryn loses it and goes to the school where she promptly embarrasses MM.  Soon the entire town is calling her a tramp even though most of them are not sleeping with their husbands either.  The worst part, she knows that David did not tell Kathryn and is lying to them both.  Charming...isn't it?

Regina tries to replace Henry's book with a video game, but Emma surprises him with the return of the book he longed to see.

After ruining MM's professional life, Kathryn has a change of heart.  She writes David a letter blessing his relationship with MM.  Of course, before leaving she must reveal her plan to Regina...her BFF.  Regina gives her blessing then promptly steals and burns the letter. 

Kathryn never makes it out of Storybrook.  Where she is...one can only guess.  Her car was off the side of the road, airbag deployed, empty.  It looked like Frederick was first on the scene.

In Fairytale land,

James flees from King George's kingdom.  He is a little angry.  He sends his men.  James is captured but not by George...by Abigail.

He is determined not to marry someone he doesn't love.  Her response..."How charming."

She doesn't love him either.  Her true love was turned to gold when he saved her father Midas from an attack.  The only way to break his curse is to gather water from Lake Nostos.  Of course, the lake is guarded by an evil beast.

James agrees to get the water for her...so she can save her true love.

"If I return to you then you will be happy and free of pain and if the beast drowns me then I will be free of pain."

James finds the lake and is greeted by a mermaid of sorts that can change into whomever she desires.  She takes the appearance of Snow and nearly succeeds in drowning James but he tells her that he knows what true love feels like and it is not this.  In the end he manages to stab her and retrieve the water for Kathryn.

She pours the water over her golden lover and her returns to her.  He give James a horse and some supplies so he too may find Snow.

James doesn't find Snow but he does find Red.  She tells him that Snow went to the castle to break up his wedding that she does indeed love him.

They are found by King George and he swoops Red onto his horse and they flee into the woods. 

What did you think of this weeks episode?

After a week off, Once Upon A Time returned last night with a Beauty and the Beast episode. I was excited to see Emilie DeRaven (Claire, from LOST) joining the ABC cast.

In Storybrook

Belle's dad, the florist, gets his truck reposessed by Rumple. Just a few days before Valentine's Day. He is not happy about this.

David and Snow share a brief encounter at the diner. He is reading Withering Heights. (I think) Red suggests that she, Ashley (Cinderella) and Snow go out for Valentine's day. Skip the men.

Rumples house gets broken into. Emma responds but Gold doesn't seem too excited to see her. He tells her that he is a difficult man to love. Indeed.

She recovers most of his stolen goods within a few days, but he is missing something precious and determined to find it. We see him at the drug store buying duct tape and rope. David is buying two Valentines...ouch.

We watch as Rumple takes Belle's dad to a cabin in the words and basically beats him with a cane. Yelling you took her! You shunned her! You need to give her back! Emma intervenes. She arrests Rumple.

The Evil Queen comes to the jail and asks for 30 minutes alone with Rumple. Emma abides. She takes Henry for ice cream.

Regina wants Mr. Gold to tell her his name. And then she will give him what he seeks. After much prying he replies "Rumplestiltskin". Ouch. So he does remember. What does she give him...a chipped tea cup.

Meanwhile, in a rather cute moment, Sean proposes to Ashley. In a rather awkward moment, David gives MaryMargaret the wrong card. Sorry...Prince Charming that's a deal breaker.

In the final scene, we see Regina visit Belle in a mental hospital. Belle is looking rough, humgging herself in the corner. She is very much alive.


In fairytale land...

The story is significantly darker. With her kingdom falling to war, Rumple is their last hope, Belle's father offers riches but Rumple asks for Belle. She doesn't love Gaston, whom she is pledged too. She goes with Rumple.

"No one decides my fate but me," said Belle

Rumple takes her to his castle and locks her up. After awhile, he lets her out. She begins to enjoy his company. He begins to tell her a little bit about his son and his wife. she chips one of his tea cups but he doesn't seem to mind. Gaston comes looking for her but Rumple turns him into a rose.

After a little bit of time, Belle begins to grow fond of Rumple. He releases her. She runs into the EQ. She tells her that all curses can be broken by true loves kiss. Um...kind of cheesey.

Belle returns to the castle. She kisses Rumple who begins to change. But he decides that she is tricking him. He doesn't want to lose his power.

He tells her to leave. She flees.

Rumple smashes many things but leaves the chipped glass.

Later he is visited by the EQ who tells him that Belle's father shunned her. That after her fiance went missing, she couldnt be trusted. He locked her in a tower and she jumped to her death.

Rumple appears crushed.

After the EQ leaves Rumple displays his chipped glass prominately in the main hall. As if to indicate that he is broken and always will be.

Next week. Prince Charming, Snow and a creepy mermaid!

I wasn't sure what to expect from this week's episode as I have yet to figure out how I feel about Sydney Glass.

In Storybrook, the episode opens with Henry trying to bury his beloved storybook at his play castle. Last week's storm apparently damaged the play area and when Regina find Emma and Henry there she blasts Emma for allowing him to play in such a dangerous area.

The foreshadowing begins when Regina tells Emma to not allow her feelings for Henry to cloud her judgment.

Regina whisks Henry off to see Doc Hopper and Emma runs into Sydney at the diner. He is drunk and says he can help her bring down the mayor. She takes his card but tells him to go home.

Apparently just to keep the ratings up, we briefly see Mary Margaret and David on a secret picnic. We are not certain how far their relationship has developed, but we know there is a lot of kissing and some wine involved.

Curiousity gets the better of Emma and she contacts Sydney to find out what dirt he has on the mayor. Together this dumb and dumber team manage to bug the mayor's office, follow her to the woods, get their breaks cut, learn that she bought land from Gold, break into her office and make fools out of themselves at the city council meeting.

They accuse Regina of stealing money from the city to build a house and she counters with no it's a safe playground. She bulldozed the other playground and Henry's book went AWOL earlier in the episode.

Seriously?

It looks like Regina wins again. Just when you think Sydney may not be a scoundrel, we learn that he is working on gaining Emma's trust so he can report his findings to Regina. Mirror, mirror, who's the most annoying of them all?

In Fairytale land...

We learn that mirror mirror was a genie in a lamp. Um...this was a stretch for me. When Snow's dad found him and imediately wished for his freedom, I was really concerned about this storyline,

When he gave him his wishes and Genie said that no good has ever come from any of the wishes he has granted I began to wonder if that too was some foreshadowing.

Snow's dad brings the newly freed genie home for diner and introduces him to snow and Regina. I thought it interesting that EQ is Regina in both storybrooke and fairytale land.

Regina knows immediately that the genie is in love with her. I think the king suspects. Genie give the queen a mirror so she can always see herself they way he sees her...as the fairest in the land.

The king finds her diary and it details the gift exchange. He asks the genie to find out who gave his wife the mirror. He locks Regina in he quarters. Regina's father gives the genie a box and asks him to deliver it to her.

It is filled with Agraba Vipers. One bite and you die. Sort of like an apple but different. She tells Genie that her father has sent them to allow her to escape to another life. He suggests that she live and the king die.

He takes the snakes to the kings quarters and releases them. He kills the man who set him free. The king dies wishing he never made that wish.

The genie is happy, but soon he comes to find out that the queen used him. She knew that since the snakes were from his homeland he would be blamed. He takes out his lamp and decides to use his last wish to keep them together.

Seriously? He told the king that no good has ever come from any wish he has ever granted. The king's wish was selfless yet he died by the genie's hand. Yet still the genie wishes to be able to see his love everyday.

Hence, he wishes himself into the mirror.

Very reflective.

The episode ends with Emma keeping her distance from Henry and the book of fairytales ending up in the hands of our mysterious Storybrooke visitor. This fact lends me to believe even more that perhaps he really is one of the Brothers Grimm.

Next week Emilie de Ravin joins the cast as Belle. Fellow Losties like myself will remember her as Claire! SO EXCITED to see the chemistry between Emilie and Robert Carlyle, who will be portraying a Rumplelized version of the Beast!

This episode was significantly better than last weeks episode. It featured hotty pants Charming/James/David.

In Storybrooke,

More mystery swirls around the stranger. I was surprised that EQ/Regina didn't know who he was. Regina convinces Emma to investigate him for just being him. I actually loved the scene between her and the stranger at the dinner.

There was some chemistry between them and when he whipped out that typewritter and announced that he finds Storybrooke inspirational my heart leap a little perhaps he is one of the Grimm brothers.

MM spends her day stalking David. She starts at 7:15 at grannie's dinner just she can watch him by his wife coffee. OUCH. Thought it interesting that she was reading a Jules Verne book. Anyone see the title?

The theme of both episode Love Bites.

MM saves a bird that needs reunited with it's flock. On her way to make sure the bird is not alone forever, she slips down a cliff and gets trapped in a storm in a romantic cabin with David...um yikes.

Snow is not interested in sleeping with him...afterall she thinks his wife might be pregnant and apparently that is where she draws the line. The bird is reunited with its flock and both David and MM decide that they have got to stay away from each other.

In an effort to avoid each other they do not go to to the dinner at 7:15 but still end up there together 45 minutes later. LOVED the kiss. Sad that EQ was watching.

In fairytale land....

Snow is alone like the bird, seperated from her love. It was nice to see Red bringing her food. Charming/James is about to wed midas daughter Abigail/Katherine. Love seeing widmore in all his evil as the king.

There is lots of talk about the evils of love.

At one point Snow visits rumple who gives her a potion guaranteed to erase her memory...to make her forget about her love, about the pain of rejection, about it all. Of course, it's made with her hair and that grosses me out a little.

Rumple as always is creepy and wonderful. He keeps a little bit of her hair as payment which is slightly bothersome.

Snow gets a letter from James saying he needs her, he wants he but he doesnt really love her...no wait that's a Meatloaf song. He begs her to risk her life to come to the castle and see him.

Surprisingly, ok not really, she is captured and locked in the dungeon with Grumpy. I love Grumpy. He's the only one talking any sense this episode. He encourages Snow to embrace her pain because it makes her who she is.

Stealthy dwarf comes to rescue them and he isn't very stealthy. Grumpy helps Snow and then Stealthy gets killed and Grumpy gets captured. snow returns the favor and saves him.

The king lets Grumpy go and orders Snow to break James' heart. If not, he will kill him.

"you would kill your own son?" asks Snow.

"He is not my son," replies the king.

Ouch..always the twin that daddy didn't want.

Snow breaks James' heart and heads to the forest where she is greated by the tallest 7 dwarves EVAH. They become her new flock...she is no longer alone.

James can not forget her. He calls off the wedding. He looks for her where he thinks she maybe and Red says she never returned. He declares that he will find her. Grumpy excitedly announces to Snow that James called off the wedding.

Her response. "who?"

She has taken the potion given to her by Rumple.

Next week: Mirror Mirror who are you loyal to?

Tonight's episode centers around the two stupidest kids ever written about and that's saying a lot...I mean I've read the Twilight series.

In Fairytale land..

Gretel and Hansel are helping their dad chop down a tree for some fireword. He gives Gretel a compass and says "a family always needs to find one another". Then he promptly gets lost.

Who should find the twins? You guessed it...the evil queen wearing one of the most fantastic hats EVAH.

After showing off with some magic and just generally rubbing everyone the wrong way, EQ tells the children she will help them find their daddy..but first they must help her.

Red flag!

I mean she just disappeared, reappeared and had the tree roots hold you down. What could she possibly need your help with?

Dumb and Dumber agree to wait until night to steal a satchel away from the blind witch. Seriously? Why do you gotta wait till night? She's blind!

EQ reminds them to eat NOTHING.

Now I ask you if a evil magic queen told you that you needed to steal a satchel for her if you ever wanted to see your father again and that as long as you didn't eat anything all would go well...would you eat a freakin' cupcake? I think not.

Guess what Hansel did?

They both get busted by the blind witch and she just can't wait to eat them. Personally, I was rooting for the witch mostly because Hansel's hat was oh-so-annoying.

The brats escape and shove the witch into her own oven. They return the satchel to the queen. Inside it...an apple. I'm surprised Hansel made it all the way to the castle without eating it.

The queen rewards them. She offers them riches beyond their imagination. Their own rooms. Their own servants. But, alas, all they want is their father. EQ is notibly annoyed and covers them in black smoke and sends them to a land far far away.

When the guards fetch dearest dad from the dugeon she asks him why his children picked him over her. "because we're family and family always finds one another.". She sends him to far far farther away land and says "have fun looking"

Meanwhile...back in Storybrooke.

Henry runs into Ava and Nicholas Zimmer aka Hansel and Gretel who promptly set him up to be arrested for shoplifting. Let's be clear--that doesnt look good when your "mom" is the mayor and your mom is the sheriff.

Turns out Ava and Nicholas are homeless and do their best to trick Emma who doesnt fall for it. Instead she takes them to Mary Margaret's appt. with her. I mean that seems like a bit of an overstep. I really hate when my house guest brings in stray cats let alone stray kids.

Emma, who continues to be delusional, is determined to locate their father. Ava says maybe this will help and gives her a compass. Um...weird.

Emma takes the compass to Gold/Rumple and he knows exactly who bought it. Michael Zimmer. Twelve years ago and he found that information in 2 minutes. Perhaps Rumple should work for the government.

Turns out he's the towns only mechanic and he's not a big fan of children. He suggests she take them to boston and seperate them. "I know nothing about being a father."

Emma feels sad so when Henry asks her about his father she tells him that he was a heroic fireman who died saving others. (she later admits to Snow that she made that up.)

The Mayor is pushing for Ava and Nicholas to go to Boston. And just when it looks like Emma is headed to Boston with those kids and her tail between her legs, she fakes an engine breakdown and calls the only Mechanic in town.

Their father.

He decides to keep em.

When Emma returns she tells Snow that she is excited that daddy had a change of heart. She wonders why it only took 20 minutes to find their dad and she can't find hers in 30 years.

She tells MM/snow that Henry thinks she is her mother. Snow jokes about her having Snow's chin.

Back outside on Sheriff patrol, Henry brings Emma a slice of pumpkin and they get a first hand view of the sexy new stranger who arrived in town on a motorcycle. Hmmmm....who could it be?

A new love interest or the big bad wolf whom ironically the Sheriff sent right to Grannie's house.

Next week Charming returns and I am sooo happy,

After being on hiatus for the last few weeks, OUAT returned with a thought provoking episode last night featuring a little more information on the creepy Rumpelstiltskin/Mr. Gold.

So it turns out that our fine evil villain was a cowardly father before gripped by dark forces.

In a clever touch we learn that he fled from battle and that many of his fellow soldiers were lost.  For a brief moment, when an arrogant knight requires Rumple to kiss his shoe (in front on his own child) I sort of felt bad for him.  But alas, soon the true Rumple returned and I was free to dislike him again.

After being taunted and kick by the knight, an old beggar approaches him and offers help.  The beggar tells him of the great dagger just hanging unguarded in the castle that should he steal would bring to him the power of the Dark Lord.

i don't know about you guys but this all sounds a little creepy to me.  I mean hasn't he ever heard of Beauty and the Beast.  Don't upset the beggars...man.

Wanting to...I don't know...be in charge of all things evil, Rumple decides that stealing this dagger sounds like a good idea.  His son, Bellfire, doesn't necessary agree but he's 13 and well...fire is cool.

But there's more....says the beggar.  Of course there is.  Should Rumple not only steal the dagger but then summon the Dark Lord and kill him then he, himself, will become the all powerful Lord.  Um..okay but then I guess you better guard that dagger because apparently whoever steals it is your master. 

Father and son skip off into the forest to set fire to the Duke's quarters.  Bell gets a little frightened and scampers back home.  Meanwhile, the unguarded dagger is now in Rumples hand.  All he has to do is call the Dark Lord and run him through.

Um...here's the twist.  The Dark Lord is the beggar.  Oh crap.  Can you say Set Up?  The Beggar in his dying breath says, "I know how to recognize a desperate soul."  He also blabs something about all magic having a price.

When Rumple returns home, he kills many men including the knight who humiliated him.  Bellfire is not impressed.  In fact, he is terrified of his father and likely wants nothing to do with him.  OUCH.

Meanwhile in Storybrooke.

We are all still mourning our beloved hotty pants sheriff Graham.  Apparently when you are dead for two weeks in Maine, you are replaced by the next in command.  Unless the mayor fires you.

Oh wait.  Mr. Gold/Rumple to the rescue.  He found some random loophole in the town charter that says the Mayor can't randomly pick the man in the mirror as your replacement.  There's got to be an election.

Wait...wait...wait.  So she's the evil queen, she crushes peoples hopes and dreams, she steals true love away from Snow, she manipulates Red and Granny and she breaks a man's heart with her bare palm but she doesn't know how to circumvent a town charter?  Are you serious?

Anywho...Sydney Glass (oh how I love his name) aka Mirror Mirror has to run again Emma Swan.  Long time resident against that new girl.  Should be an easy win for the mayor.

But alas, Emma starts to pull ahead when she saves the mayor from a fire.  She's the town hero and everyone loves the town hero.  Hell...people around here would vote for a dog if it pulled someone from a fire.

Turns out it was all a set up - by none other than Gold. 

Best line:  Gold to Emma "Two people with a common goal can accomplish many things.  Two people with a common enemy can accomplish even more."

So trying to prove to Henry that Good can beat Evil, Emma announces at the worst debate ever televised that didn't feature Rick Santorum, that she is no hero.  That Mr. Gold is an ass and that he plays with sheep fat and likes to set fires.

Of course since she has no proof, she is arrested and Mirror Mirror wins.  Oh wait...no that didn't happen.  Everyone voted for her because they hate Mr. Gold more than they hate the mayor and anyone who tattles on Mr. Gold is a friend of theirs.

Of course there has to be a twist...and like the beggar Gold tells Emma that he knew should would denounce him and that he brilliantly planned it all because he can recognize a desperate soul.

"I want you in an office of power for when I cash in that favor you owe me."

hmm...I hope it doesn't involve stealing a dagger.  Because if it does, she should just say pass.

Next week...Hansel and Gretel.  What's not to love about a witch that eats kids.

This week's episode left my head spinning and me begging for more. Unfortunately OUAT isnt't storming back until January 8th. This allows all of you not yet watching ample time to catch up.

This week's episode finally confirmed that our hot sheriff is, indeed, the Huntsman from the Snow White saga.

In Storybrooke, Graham wrestles with the fact that while he feels nothing for Regina he keeps sleeping with her. I was trying to feel bad for him but, alas, I could not. He's drunk, he's running a fever and he decides to kiss Emma.

Wow...I was surprised she didn't deck him. I mean nothing says romance like whiskey and the flu. Since we all know that in fairytale land kisses are powerful enough to bring back the dead it comes as no surprise to us that when Graham kisses Emma he has a flashback.

There's a wolf with a black eye and a red eye. He is hunting and crying and looking cuter than ever. Needless to say, this freaks him out a little so he decides to go home, take some meds and go to bed go bang Regina.

And they say woman are hard to figure out. Spare me.

Even with Regina, Graham continues to remember. He sees Snow. He sees a knife. He wonders if he has ever hurt her. He becomes increasingly upset and leaves Regina's bed, but not before telling her that he is having flashes of wolves and deer and knives.

He follows the wolf to the woods again but is abruptly interupted but Rumple who is apparently "gardening" in the forest with a shovel. Um...that sounds like an episode of Desperate Housewives.

Having lost the wolf he heads to the school where Mary Margaret, pure as the white snow, is still trying to figure out what happened with Dr. Whale. So glad we didn't have to witness that one-night-stand as I think those two have as much on-screen chemistry as Bette Midler and Denzel Washington.

Graham asks how they met. She does not recall. He asks if he has ever hurt her. She says of course not. He has a fever. She suggests bed. He asks her if she believes in other lives (LOST shoutout). She accuses him of sounding like Henry. He goes to see Master Mills.

Henry tells Graham that he is remembering his life as the Huntsman. He tells Graham that while he spared Snow White, the Evil Queen was not as kind to him. She ripped out his heart and locked it in a bank vault???

We flash to fairytale land, where the Huntsman who loves the animals is being preyed upon by the evil queen. She has just killed Snows father. She wants Snow to follow. She wants the Huntsman to kill her. "My prey is beloved by all the kingdom" she says.

Graham agrees but only under the condition that all hunting of wolves will cease and since we know that people who hire others to cut the hearts out of their step-daughters are trustworthy, he agrees.

Snow fights back. She spots his deception. She flees. She takes time to compose a manefesto. He is moved by what she writes. He lets her live and returns to the queen with the heart of a stag.

The queen is not impressed. She is not fooled. She makes the huntsman read Snows letter aloud. We learn that Snow knows that the queen has killed her father and Snow is willing to die for the cause too. Snow writes, “I understand you will never have love in your life because of me" We are not sure what this means.

The Evil Queen tells the man in the mirror that other people “don’t know the wretchedness inside” Snow White. But Snow herself has alluded in a previous episode that she has wronged the queen.

At one point the Queen tells the huntsman, "I shared a secret with her, and she couldn’t keep it. That betrayal cost me dearly." Shortly after telling him that, she rips his dog toy like heart out from his chest and puts it in her creepy bank vault. She tells the huntsman he will now be her pet and orders the guards to take him to her bed chambers.

Meanwhile back in Storybrooke...

Graham is more and more convinced that he is like the tin man and must find his heart. Emma conveniently appears and they find the mausolium of Henry Mills Sr. He is convinced his heart is inside, but he finds his heart outside when he tells Regina to bite it. She decks Emma who fires back. Fan.tas.tic! Loved the fight scene.

They walk off into the sunset and live happily ever after head back to the sheriff's office. Regina heads to the "bank" vault which is conveniently located under her father's grave.

Emma and Graham share another kiss and he remembers even more! He goes to kiss her again. Flash to Regina...she holds Grahams heart in her hand. Flash to Graham..."I remember." Flash to Regina as she crushes Graham's heart to dust. Flash to Graham as he collaspes to the floor.

DEAD.

OMG!

This week we learn that our poor Prince Charming has yet another name. 

Seriously?

In Fairytale Land

It appears that our dashing prince is unstopable.  He galantly defeats an evil ugly brute and is rewarded by King Midas.  His father (Charles Widmore from LOST) is beaming with pride when Midas turns Charming's sword to gold and promises even more once he defeats the dragon.

Thankfully Midas back at the castle by the time the evil-ugly brute, whose death has been greatly exaggerated, RUNS CHARMING THROUGH WITH AN EVIL-UGLY SPEAR.

I did not see that coming.


Enter Rumple.

Dude...this guy is everywhere and Robert Carlyle continues to impress me with his acting skills.

He tells King "Widmore" that dead is dead ( a great LOST reference).  Then he reveals that James has a twin brother.  Turns out Rumple's fetish for fetching babies isn't just reserved for maid servants named Cinderella.  He works for royalty, too.

This is when we flash to our sweet Shepard boy (his name is not revealed, but one can hope that it is David)

Turns out ma and paw were trying to save the farm.  Ever notice how expensive it is to run a farm?  Apparently, it is sooo expensive that Ma is willing to give up one of her baby boys to keep the farm a float for a short while.  Um...seems a little far fetched.  I mean, if you're gonna give up one of the twins at least get enough money to be set for life.

But alas, Ma didn't think that far ahead and now Paw is dead and she is trying to marry Charming off to some chick with a big set of .... dowries.

Until Rumple entices him with a proposition.  You slay the dragon.  Your family lives comfortably.  Personally, I'd get that in writing.  It didn't work out very well last time.

Charming agrees.  First mistake.  Then the cute farm boy actually succeeds in slaying the worst CG dragon I have ever seen.  Made me miss the black smoke from LOST.

Midas is overjoyed with his new mantle piece and King "Widmore" is anxious to be reward.  Of course there is always a catch.

This one has a name.  Abigail.



Abigal announces that "He'll do" and I begin to wonder why she is so dislikable in fairytale land while I don't mind her much in Storybrook.

Charming shares a Lifetime moment with his ma (who he is apparently harboring no resentment at all towards...curious) and then heads off into the sunset with his new bitch bride.  Off to meet Snow.

I thought it was a nice touch that in this episode, Charming had no scar on his chin.

Meanwhile back in Storybrook.


Mary Margaret is mopping about  Charming.  Turns out David is home and Kathryn is tired of him giving her googly eyes.

David leaves his own welcome home party to chase after Mary and remind her that he feels so much more for her than he does Kathryn.

He pulls out the all time worst married guy line of all time saying that she doesn't mean anything to him and that he is drawn to her.  "She needs someone to feel about her the way I feel about you."  Seriously?

As much as I want him to choose already I'm having a little trouble feeling bad for him.  He has all the cards.

Mary wrestles with her feelings and talks to Emma about it who pours her a drink and says, "If you think something you want to do is wrong, it usually is."

Seems like there is a lot of random drinking and newspaper reading in this episode. Go ahead...watch it again.  You know you wanna.

David decides to leave Kathryn and we all cheer.  He asks Snow to meet him at the Toll Bridge.  To which, Emma encourages her to go.  She throws caution to the wind and goes.

Like the village idiot, David asks for directions from Regina.  Okay...this is too much.  Does he really think that she is going to tell him how to get to the bridge.

Regina leads him to Rumple.  Why?  No one knows.

David walks into Gold's shop and fiddles with the glass mobile that used to grace Emma's crib.  He hollers out to see if anyone is there.  He walks past those creepy dolls from last weeks episode.  "Charming," Gold says.  Clever.

David does not get the reference.  Gold give him directions to the bridge but as David turns to leave he is entranced by a windmill.  We think he remembers his life with Snow.  His farm.  His Ma.  But no.  He has remembered his fake life with Kathryn.

He goes to the bridge but not to confess his dying love, but to tell Mary that he is returning to Kathryn.  Wrong choice.

Mary is upset and alone.  A bad combination.





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