Once Upon a Time: The Return
IN STORYBROOK:
August appears to be ill. He is coughing and having trouble getting up. He clearly needs a doctor but instead goes to see Henry.
He convinces Henry to distract Mr. Gold while he looks for something. What he s looking for remains a mystery.
Meanwhile, back at the house Mary Margaret is home and the entire town has forgiven her for being a whore now that she is not a murderer. They are all at her house and bringing gifts and eating food. It's sort of ridiculous.
Kathryn remembers nothing accept being locked in a mysterious basement and being given food. She was released in a field and hiked her way back. Regina is clearly pissed about the entire situation and feels like Gold broke their deal.
He tells her that he has only broken one deal in his entire life and it was not the deal she is talking about.
David continues to be one of the hottest and most idiotic characters on the show. I like him much better in fairytale land where he is sure of himself and not a moron. He visits Kathryn and tells her how wonderful she is and attempts to attend MM homecoming but he isn't invited.
Later the duo have a scene together that is reminiscent of a Hallmark Movie and kind of nauseating. "I thought you were the one person who would always be there for me when you weren't with your wife...blah blah blah." I don't really like these two together.
Gold breaks into August's apartment and finds a sketch of the knife that can kill Rumpelstiltskin. Curiouser and Curiouser. I mean how in the world does August know about that? Could he be Rumple's son, Bay?
Gold follows August to a convent where he learns he is wrestling with the decision to reveal himself to his father. Maybe he really is August.
The have a confrontation. August calls him papa. There is an awkward hug and then things get really weird. They dig up the sword together and August tries to summon the dark lord. Um...seriously? Rumples says if he were Bay then he would know that there is no magic in this world.
August says he needs magic because he is sick.
In a rather unsurprising twist, Sydney confesses to kidnapping and holding Kathryn hostage. He claims he did so he could get the inside story but it is clear that he is lying to protect Regina, whom he still loves.
IN FAIRYTALE LAND
We are given some more background into Bay and Rumpelstiltskin's life. After Rumple becomes the dark lord, Bay begins to loathe him. He brings fear in everyone and because of that fear people are also afraid of Bay.
After a minor accident, Rumple kills the man who bruised Bay's leg. After the maid overhears them talking about the sword, he kills her.
Bay makes Rumple promise that if he finds a way to save him without killing him that Rumple will take it. Rumple agrees.
Bay visit the RuleGollum also known as the blue fairy who gives him a magic seed that grows into a beanstalk. Oh...wait...wrong fairytale. This bean grows into a wormhole that will take the person willing to travel it to a world with no magic.
Rumple backs out on his deal and Bay goes through the wormhole alone.
Immediately Rumple regrets the decision and goes to the blue fairy demanding another wormhole seed. She simple doesn't have any others.
Rumple learns that a curse can take him to the place where his son is and he vows to figure out how to conjure it.
Once Upon A Time: Fruit of the Poisonious Tree
I wasn't sure what to expect from this week's episode as I have yet to figure out how I feel about Sydney Glass.
In Storybrook, the episode opens with Henry trying to bury his beloved storybook at his play castle. Last week's storm apparently damaged the play area and when Regina find Emma and Henry there she blasts Emma for allowing him to play in such a dangerous area.
The foreshadowing begins when Regina tells Emma to not allow her feelings for Henry to cloud her judgment.
Regina whisks Henry off to see Doc Hopper and Emma runs into Sydney at the diner. He is drunk and says he can help her bring down the mayor. She takes his card but tells him to go home.
Apparently just to keep the ratings up, we briefly see Mary Margaret and David on a secret picnic. We are not certain how far their relationship has developed, but we know there is a lot of kissing and some wine involved.
Curiousity gets the better of Emma and she contacts Sydney to find out what dirt he has on the mayor. Together this dumb and dumber team manage to bug the mayor's office, follow her to the woods, get their breaks cut, learn that she bought land from Gold, break into her office and make fools out of themselves at the city council meeting.
They accuse Regina of stealing money from the city to build a house and she counters with no it's a safe playground. She bulldozed the other playground and Henry's book went AWOL earlier in the episode.
Seriously?
It looks like Regina wins again. Just when you think Sydney may not be a scoundrel, we learn that he is working on gaining Emma's trust so he can report his findings to Regina. Mirror, mirror, who's the most annoying of them all?
In Fairytale land...
We learn that mirror mirror was a genie in a lamp. Um...this was a stretch for me. When Snow's dad found him and imediately wished for his freedom, I was really concerned about this storyline,
When he gave him his wishes and Genie said that no good has ever come from any of the wishes he has granted I began to wonder if that too was some foreshadowing.
Snow's dad brings the newly freed genie home for diner and introduces him to snow and Regina. I thought it interesting that EQ is Regina in both storybrooke and fairytale land.
Regina knows immediately that the genie is in love with her. I think the king suspects. Genie give the queen a mirror so she can always see herself they way he sees her...as the fairest in the land.
The king finds her diary and it details the gift exchange. He asks the genie to find out who gave his wife the mirror. He locks Regina in he quarters. Regina's father gives the genie a box and asks him to deliver it to her.
It is filled with Agraba Vipers. One bite and you die. Sort of like an apple but different. She tells Genie that her father has sent them to allow her to escape to another life. He suggests that she live and the king die.
He takes the snakes to the kings quarters and releases them. He kills the man who set him free. The king dies wishing he never made that wish.
The genie is happy, but soon he comes to find out that the queen used him. She knew that since the snakes were from his homeland he would be blamed. He takes out his lamp and decides to use his last wish to keep them together.
Seriously? He told the king that no good has ever come from any wish he has ever granted. The king's wish was selfless yet he died by the genie's hand. Yet still the genie wishes to be able to see his love everyday.
Hence, he wishes himself into the mirror.
Very reflective.
The episode ends with Emma keeping her distance from Henry and the book of fairytales ending up in the hands of our mysterious Storybrooke visitor. This fact lends me to believe even more that perhaps he really is one of the Brothers Grimm.
Next week Emilie de Ravin joins the cast as Belle. Fellow Losties like myself will remember her as Claire! SO EXCITED to see the chemistry between Emilie and Robert Carlyle, who will be portraying a Rumplelized version of the Beast!
Once Upon A Time: That Still Small Voice
In Fairytale land:
Jiminy is a young lad disgruntled by his parents thievery. He is tired of pick pocketing. The show opens with a puppet show and eludes to how Jiminy feels like a puppet controlled by his parents.
While preparing to move on in his transient life, Jiminy is approached by a young boy who offers him an umbrella to shield him from the rain. They talk about the crickets and how they sing. They talk about how free the crickets are and Jiminy longs to be as free as they are.
Now realize this, Jiminy's parents deserve it. My favorite line, spoken by Jiminy's dad "We steal from them, they steal from us. It's called an economy."
After much consideration, Jiminy decides he will give Rumple's vile to his parents. But after an evil slight of hand, the vile ends up in the hands of innocent parents. Jiminy is mortified. He rushes to aid those he endangered and finds that they have turned into nasty-ugly-scary-as-all-get-out-dolls.
Of course, they are the parents of the small boy, who gave him the umbrella. That boy--Geppetto
Oh crap.
The big breasted blue fairy returns and like the genie in Aladdin announces that there are certain wish restrictions. For example, yes to turning you into a cricket, no to bringing the boys parents back to life.
Hotty pants Sheriff Graham deputizes Emma and for a brief moment we are told that she will now have to dress like a man. Every husband being forced to watch this show gasped but then quickly exhaled once they realized that she will continue to sport those painted on jeggings.
As soon as she pins on her badge, there is a small earthquake. Okay...that's a little odd. When the scene changes to the Major/Evil Queen announcing that it was just some underground mines collapsing we were all like "Say what? How come TV shows always get cool underground mines?"
Since collapsed mines and cute kids go together like peanut butter and jelly, it doesn't take long to figure out where Henry will end up.
With the help of Pongo (seriously?), the grown ups find a shaft...um I mean an air vent. At first I was worried that once lowered, Emma would find Desmond and would be forced to enter random numbers into a computer, but alas, that did not happen.
Emma is lowered into the mine in order to rescue not only Henry but Archie too. His conscience got the better of him and he rushed in to to save the boy after first devouring an Appolo bar (Lost shoutout).
As the trio is being pulled to safety, it appears that Hopper is about to falll to his death but he saves himself by snagging onto Emma's jeggings with his umbrella. That umbrella really is lucky.
Archie chirps at Regina and tells her that should a custody battle be in her future it would do her well to keep him on her side. Ouch...how about those feelers?
We fade out with Regina dropping a piece of glass down the air vent and we watch as it bounces off of Snow White's glass coffin.
So drawn that she resigns from volunteering?? at the hospital.
I want to dislike Kathryn, David/James/Charming's wife, but she's actually quite...um...charming.
Next week, more Snow and Charming.
Thank you!
I am so glad the blue fairy granted my wish!
Once Upon A Time: The Price of Gold
Cinderella can't go to the ball and the story starts with that familiar sad story. Enter her fairy godmother, whom begins to tell her that all of her dreams are about to come true when she is abruptly exploded but Rumple.
Rumple, who gets creepier each episode, tells her that "all magic comes with a price" and like most Americans signing mortgage papers, she quickly jots one of her many names down on a contract that pops out of the air.
Hey kids...if the contract just materializes you should probably READ the fine print.
Best line was when Rumple flicked the wand and put Cinderella in her infamous attire and she asked about the glass slippers. His response "Every story needs a memorable detail."
Flash forward and Ella is happy. She is married to Prince Thomas, she's friends with Snow, even Grumpy seems to be on her payroll. Then Rumple comes to collect. The contract doesn't ask for gold or jewels. Rumple wants her baby. Ouch.
Like any good Disney princess she decides to run away. Thomas finds out. He comes up with a plan that the Scooby Doo gang would be proud of. It involves a blue bird, a dwarf, a dungeon, and a scary red quill.
Anywho, all Ella has to do is lie to a liar, offer him another infant in return for um...grain...and get him to alter the deal by signing with the magic red quill. This will freeze him.
Ella having learned from the last mortgage she tried to negotiate says, "but what if this magic has a price, too" to which Prince Hotty Pants aka Thomas says "If it does than I will pay it"
So Snow sends a blue bird to fetch Rumple and he meets up with Ella in a misty part of the kingdom, it is pretty clear that he knows she is the worst liar in the world but he signs the contract with the fancy pen.
Good prevails. Prince Thomas names the baby Alex (LOST shout out) and Rumple is imprisoned. Of course, he tells her that his deals are always honored in this life or in another. She appears to go into premature labor to which Prince Thomas goes to fetch some water and doesn't return.
After all, magic has a price and Thomas agreed to pay it.
Regina runs into Emma after Sheriff Graham just offered her a job as a deputy. Regina/EQ says she is no linger concerned about Emma because she has never stayed anywhere for very long and will eventually tire of Storybrook and move on.
Best line in Storybrook, spoken by Regina to Emma, "People don't change, they only fool themselves into believing they can."
After getting pissed by the entire conversation, Emma meets Ashely/Ella/Cinderella in the laundry room. She's pregnant and alone and looking kind of scared. Of course, she's an inept maid. Ironic.
Emma convinces her to quit whining. "You want people to look at you differently then make them. There are no fairy godmothers."
Long story short Sean/Prince Thomas ain't all that prince like. His daddy basically sold baby Alex to Mr. Gold/Rumple and now Ashley wants to revoke the deal. However, breaking a deal with this dude is near impossible.
Ashley flees. Emma finds her. As does Mr, Gold. He agrees to let her keep the baby but only if Emma will admit to owing him a favor. What that favor may turn out to be, one can only imagine. The Price of Gold...could be a twist on the title.
Ashley names the baby Alex and Sean returns, bucking his daddy and bringing the baby shoes. Oh, how I loved that.
Meanwhile Henry has been helping Emma all the while and now must make it home before midnight...I mean five. This is when him mom will return from her Saturday council meeting which is code for afternoon frolic with Graham the hot sheriff.
Keeping with our Cinderella theme, while running into the house to keep from being busted, Henry loses a shoe.
Every story, after all, needs a memorable moment.
The episode ends with Emma calling Graham and accepting a job with the Sheriff department. Oh that's going to get awkward.
Next week we have a bye, but the following Sunday we return with a little more info on Dr. Jiminy.
Once Upon a Time: Snow Falls
While I didn't think the episode was as great as the first two I still loved it.
It opens with a fantastic castle scene reminicent of that really hard to spell castle in Germany or Disney World.
Charming is in a carriage with a whiny and over bearing duchess when the carriage is stalled by a down tree. It is an ambush and the thief gets away with Charming's little bag which of course he left open on the carriage seat. Not bright.
Not wanting to be shown up by a thief in front of his obnoxious fiancee he takes off "don't worry babe! I got this.". Of course, he's after his purse instead of hers. Awkward.
He catches the thief and is a little taken back when it turns out to be Snow and she decks him with a rock that leaves that oh-do-handsome little scare on his chin.
She gets away but later in the episode Charming keeps his promise of "Wherever you are I will find you."
Meanwhile back in Storybrooke....
Snow has the worst date EVAH! But I have to admit that I love the fact that Red Riding Hood's name is Ruby. That is fantastic.
Snow leaves and sees Emma living in her car. She offers her a spare room but Emma perfers her Bug. Why? We can't be sure.
One of the best lines: Snow to Emma about her date: "If true love was easy, we'd all have it."
Enter Henry who is convinced he has found Charming and he is a coma patient who would appreciate some fairy tales read to him. Emma and Mary Margaret aka Snow think the boy has lost it but Snow agrees to read to him to prove it will have no effect and therefore painlessly discredit the boy.
Problem...it worked.
Charming starts responding and eventually tries to find Snow at the Troll brige which is where he last rescued her.
Fade back to Fairytale land Charming eventually captures Snow, says he knows she is a wanted crimininal and that he will turn her in unless she returns his jewelry.
The jewelry she sold to the trolls.
There's some great dialogue back and forth including at one point Snow tells him she doesn't believe in love at first sight and you heard WaltDisney gasp from his resting space.
I loved the close up of the arrow flying through the forest as Charming rescued her from royal soldiers. I loved how, even though she didn't have to, she returned to save him from trolls. I loved that he said "it seemed like the noble thing to do" and how she repeated that line to him.
Best line is when Charming asks what she did to upset the queen and Snow replied, "She blames me for ruining her life." Charming asks "Did you?" and Snow replies,"yes"
Just as it begins to feel like Snow and James aka Charming will proclaim their love for each other he goes to his castle and she returns to her tree stump.
Back in Storybrook Mary Margaret, Emma and Henry along with Sheriff Sexy pants find Charming under the toll bridge near death and what brings him back? Snow white's kiss. Fantastic!
Oh course, Regina is all over this new development. I mean apparently the hospital is run by dwarfs and traitors. Regina brings the Duchess into the picture who proudly decrees that David/James/Charming is her husband.
And suddenly Snow's date at the beginning doesn't look all that bad and Emma decides living with her sudo birth mother sounds fantastic. What brings on this change of heart? Regina's line "Not having someone is the worse curse imaginable."
Next week: We meet Cinderella. I am almost giddy. Do you think the birds and the mice will be friendly toward her?
About Me
- kisatrtle
- I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.
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