If you stopped over looking for a OUAT review, then you're likely disappointed.  OUAT is on hiatus until January 8th.  My witty reviews of that show will return once the reruns stop. 

In the meantime, since you're hear, let's talk about Christmas.

Do you have a nativity and if you do is baby Jesus on display?  Um...I never really thought about concealing baby Jesus until Christmas Day, but apparently this is a tradition that many people hold dear.  So I'm dying to know, is there a Jesus in your stable right now?

How many gifts does Santa bring to your house?  Santa brings three gifts to each of our children.  Baby Jesus got three gifts from the wise men and that is what Santa brings here.  The rest of the stuff, odds and ends, is from mom and dad.

Does your elf on the shelf move every day?  As I blogged about before my kids think our elf is dead and I am wondering if your elf forgets to move.  If you have one of those over-achieving elves that bakes cookies and reads books, please refrain from commenting.

Do you send out holiday cards?  Seems that each year I get less and less Christmas cards and for some reason it sort of feels like a Facebook unfriend.  Are you still sending or have you stopped long ago?

Do you include a "brag letter" in your cards?  I have been mocked by my family for many years for including what they call a "Jan Letter".  Let me explain.  When we were all much younger my mom's cousin Jan used to include an update of sorts in her card.  Her letter would read "My 14 year old just received her doctorate and has been asked to perform ballet in Australia."  Whether or not that was true, I couldn't say.  My update on the other hand says things like, "Oldest G is almost 13 and plays the clarinet when we force her to."  Totally different.

What is your least favorite Christmas song?  What is your favorite?  Okay I have a lot of Christmas songs that I DO NOT LIKE.  Gasp!  The one I hate the most is The Christmas Shoes.  Seriously?  You need to buy shoes for your dying mother.  As if the song wasn't bad enough they made it into a Lifetime movie.  I also dislike anything sung by Michael Bolton....oh and Ave Maria.

One of my favorite song.  Is The Ballad of the Christmas Donkey by Ed Ames as it reminds me of happy times in my childhood when my mom and dad were still together.  Also, I love any song sung by the muppets as long as they aren't singing with Michael Bolton.

Dear Max,

Are you not feeling well?  Have you forgotten your purpose?

You are supposed to relocate every night.  You are supposed to be in a new spot every  morning.  You spy on my family and you report back to Santa.  This isn't a hard job.

Why have you been failing at your only job?

The book clearly says that your moving about will become a wonderful family tradition. 

My kids are convinced you are dead. 

Does that sound like a fun family tradition?

Even though we have set the alarms on our phones to "remind" you to move, you still forget to relocate more often than I care to mention.

All I can say is come on man!  Enough is enough.

Get your red-tight-wearing-tiny-little-ass to a new spot tomorrow or else!  I'm gonna contact your boss, you know the big fat jolly guy, and demand a new elf.

Preferably one that isn't dead!