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Monday, January 7, 2013

An open letter to my right tonsil

Dear right tonsil:

I don't even know where to begin. I thought we were friends. I thought I treated you well. I thought we were on the same page. Then Christmas Eve happened.

I mean seriously? You got to wig out on Christmas Eve. There are no doctors working on Christmas Eve and yet this is the day I wake up and feel like there's something stuck in my throat.

That is a terrible feeling.

I tried hot tea.

I tried milk.

I tried alcohol.

You just couldn't chill out. You just had to keep looking weird and puffing up, decorating yourself with a nice white spot. I mean I was traveling. That whole Christmas thing. Remember?

So I ended up at a clinic.. You know one of those open all the time come see our "doctor" places. My husband touched the magazines and ended up with a sinus infection but that's another blog post.

The doctor insisted it was strep. I insisted it was not. I didn't feel sick. I felt like I had something stuck in my freakin throat.

Of course, I took the antibiotic. It did nothing and you knew it wouldn't. Didn't you?

I reached my breaking point.

My lets take my absessed tooth out with an ice skate moment. You know the one.

I went back to the doctor. This time I went to my family practitioner and said, "I'm not leaving until you fix my tonsil."

He looked in there and said, "I see the problem and I'm gonna take it off."

After three tries of stabbing me repeatedly with a Popsicle stick cleverly disguised as a tongue depressed, he removed a narley looking tonsil stone.

A what?

I mean why? Why tonsil? Is it because I'm 40? Is it because you just felt like shaking things up?

Let's come up with a truce. I'll gargle with warm salt water and a crushed aspirin at least once a week if you promise never, ever, ever to do this to me again.

I mean I thought we were friends.



5 random thoughts:

~Wendy said...

That was amazing! I've never seen anything like it. Did they remove just the stone? Are they going to take your tonsils out too? Do people tend to get these repeatedly? I read they smell bad? Amazing...

Kristie Maynard said...

Now that just really stinks! I got the flu on Christmas day. Why do these things have to happen at such inopportune times? I don't have any tonsils, got them out many many many years ago, like 50 yrs ago! Hope you never have this problem again and you and that tonsil get back to being friends!

Kristie Maynard said...

Gee, I hope that comment went through. First I typed in that stinking verification and I thought it didn't work as my comment was still in the box, but then when I did it again, it said I can't leave the box blank. I hate these things, but I'm getting quite a bit of spam too and may have to resort to using it too

Jenners said...

A tonsil stone????? I didn't know there was such a thing!! You have the weirdest things happen to you.

Mitchell is Moving said...

A tonsil stone?!?!?! (Oops, I just looked left and see that Jenner's said the same exact thing (with less punctuation). Anyway, I've never heard of this. You poor thing. Sure am glad I don't have mine anymore!

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I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some meant some comments.
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