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Monday, January 9, 2012
10:55 PM | | Edit Post
So it turns out that our fine evil villain was a cowardly father before gripped by dark forces.
In a clever touch we learn that he fled from battle and that many of his fellow soldiers were lost. For a brief moment, when an arrogant knight requires Rumple to kiss his shoe (in front on his own child) I sort of felt bad for him. But alas, soon the true Rumple returned and I was free to dislike him again.
After being taunted and kick by the knight, an old beggar approaches him and offers help. The beggar tells him of the great dagger just hanging unguarded in the castle that should he steal would bring to him the power of the Dark Lord.
i don't know about you guys but this all sounds a little creepy to me. I mean hasn't he ever heard of Beauty and the Beast. Don't upset the beggars...man.
Wanting to...I don't know...be in charge of all things evil, Rumple decides that stealing this dagger sounds like a good idea. His son, Bellfire, doesn't necessary agree but he's 13 and well...fire is cool.
But there's more....says the beggar. Of course there is. Should Rumple not only steal the dagger but then summon the Dark Lord and kill him then he, himself, will become the all powerful Lord. Um..okay but then I guess you better guard that dagger because apparently whoever steals it is your master.
Father and son skip off into the forest to set fire to the Duke's quarters. Bell gets a little frightened and scampers back home. Meanwhile, the unguarded dagger is now in Rumples hand. All he has to do is call the Dark Lord and run him through.
Um...here's the twist. The Dark Lord is the beggar. Oh crap. Can you say Set Up? The Beggar in his dying breath says, "I know how to recognize a desperate soul." He also blabs something about all magic having a price.
When Rumple returns home, he kills many men including the knight who humiliated him. Bellfire is not impressed. In fact, he is terrified of his father and likely wants nothing to do with him. OUCH.
Meanwhile in Storybrooke.
We are all still mourning our beloved hotty pants sheriff Graham. Apparently when you are dead for two weeks in Maine, you are replaced by the next in command. Unless the mayor fires you.
Oh wait. Mr. Gold/Rumple to the rescue. He found some random loophole in the town charter that says the Mayor can't randomly pick the man in the mirror as your replacement. There's got to be an election.
Wait...wait...wait. So she's the evil queen, she crushes peoples hopes and dreams, she steals true love away from Snow, she manipulates Red and Granny and she breaks a man's heart with her bare palm but she doesn't know how to circumvent a town charter? Are you serious?
Anywho...Sydney Glass (oh how I love his name) aka Mirror Mirror has to run again Emma Swan. Long time resident against that new girl. Should be an easy win for the mayor.
But alas, Emma starts to pull ahead when she saves the mayor from a fire. She's the town hero and everyone loves the town hero. Hell...people around here would vote for a dog if it pulled someone from a fire.
Turns out it was all a set up - by none other than Gold.
Best line: Gold to Emma "Two people with a common goal can accomplish many things. Two people with a common enemy can accomplish even more."
So trying to prove to Henry that Good can beat Evil, Emma announces at the worst debate ever televised that didn't feature Rick Santorum, that she is no hero. That Mr. Gold is an ass and that he plays with sheep fat and likes to set fires.
Of course since she has no proof, she is arrested and Mirror Mirror wins. Oh wait...no that didn't happen. Everyone voted for her because they hate Mr. Gold more than they hate the mayor and anyone who tattles on Mr. Gold is a friend of theirs.
Of course there has to be a twist...and like the beggar Gold tells Emma that he knew should would denounce him and that he brilliantly planned it all because he can recognize a desperate soul.
"I want you in an office of power for when I cash in that favor you owe me."
hmm...I hope it doesn't involve stealing a dagger. Because if it does, she should just say pass.
Next week...Hansel and Gretel. What's not to love about a witch that eats kids.
- I'm a 41 year old (gasp) freelance writer, school cafeteria manager, wife and mother. I have three children and one anxious and overweight beagle. I use my blog to make others laugh, to share some cool crafts, to document my lunchlady adventures and to lament about the challenges faced by us all on the journey called life. Thanks for visiting. Please leave some crack...um...I meant some comments.